I kept my cool

I have just felt like a school marm lecturing a couple of naughty kids. The 2 carers we have on a Tuesday evening are a couple of young girls and they do rabbit on wich frustrates Brian no end. They seem to chat away to him asking questions and also giving instructions..... my god i don't think that they take a breath between questions and instructions its a constant drone. Then Brian gets agitated and swears at them because his brain gets overloaded and he can't work out what he is supposed to be doing.

when they had got him into bed i said to them that they can't keep gabbing away like they do because it agitates him if they could just keep things simple with him not to much needless chit chat clear precise instructions and give him time to digest what they have said. I explained it simply by saying if i asked you a question in french your brain would need to translate the question into english then think of the answer before translating into french for me that is how a psp brain works. Hopefully next week we won't have another swearing lesson. Janexx

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  • And on your honeymoon to boot!

  • snap we have exactly the same problem . how long have you had carers and how many all together .

    I sat and wrote their names down one day and was axed that we had had 35 different ones. After two years it's now gone up to 113 different carers

  • I sat and wrote the name of all the carers we had had , I was amazed to see it came to 35 . we have been having them for two years now ,and it's gone up to 113 .

    how long have u had them and how many . we live in S Wales UK

  • We tend to get the same ones so far taking into consideration a couple have left and i have banned one it seems that we have a combination of the same 10 girls. It's just the 2 that do Tuesday night. I know that they are young and they are trying there best but it seems that they don't listen and they don't understand that Brian can't cope with the idle chit chat interspersed with questions and instructions comeing from both sides. And all fuss of up and down on the toilet. As they stand him up he sometimes passes a bit of poo so they sit him back down and they can have him up and down several times untill in the end he swears at them. I have said can they just clean him the best as they can and pad him but every week its the same. I think aafter the 3rd or 4th swearing session i felt i had to say something.

    The outcome of me explaining things to them last night i have now been reported for being intimadating towards 2 members of staff. How about that. Janexx

  • I am so sorry to hear that as the if you haven't enough in your plate . has He got Parkinsons or PSP eTC.

    where do u live.

    social services did tell me that I am in control and must tell them what I want and what suits .

    they done seem to understand do they .

    to be fair in our case although so many different ones they have all been great as far as I am concerned and glad when I have told them how I like it done . I try to befriend them , I don't want to reach them but they have to know that everyone is different and dealt with in their own way .

    have you reported them or complain d that they are not suitable at all

    I know some girls are not allowed in some houses because on conflict ion or suitability .

    I watch them like a hawk even the very good ones . how long have you been caring fo him

    I a, still very hands on and I want it to continue the way I have been doing but with them doing it . I even help them or rather they help me .

    I ologised only last night saying I hope they don't think I am being bossy or controlling but they have all been more than happy .

    they tell me I know him better then anyone else .

    john would be exactly the same . I worry about it when they ar all talking vet his head and they have to work so closely it must be lawful for him it is for John .

    he isn't a piece of meat he has got feeling even though he might not LOOK LIKE It .

    where do u live . on top of that are you having to pay anything for it . I am . I am not complaint living in Wales it's not too much we are .ucky . I know some don't pay at all though .

    can you e mail the manager . I have found that so helpful . You don't get tongue tied and can think what you want to say .

    I a, sure you are not being awkward . you would have come on here otherwise ., HUGSS XXX

  • Hi, i am a carer in Bedfordshire. If you have a problem with over chatty carers, you are in your rights to tell them, note it down in their communication folder and keep a copy. Also ask the manager to come and have a chat with yourself. Too many people in the office think they are right. If that does not work, phone head office, be calm about your concerns. That should fix it.

  • Sorry thought it hadn't gone

  • Always crosses my mind that if they were put into his position how would they feel. Seems there are a lot of people who just can't step into someone else's shoes. All you ask is a little TLC and make life as bearable as possible and allow a little dignity where possible. Xx

  • It always seems to come down to one girl (the bosses daughter in law) i do try to explain that he can't cope with faffing and lots of chit chat because a) he is tired when they come in and b) he can't keep up with what they saying also when he is answering them he can't do things like lift foot etc and that frustrates him because it makes him feel useless. If she was new i could forgive her for not knowing but she has been comeing in at least once a week for the last 6 months. I do really feel like cancelling the service all together. I think this is the 1st time that i have felt so down and tearful over anything to do with psp. Janexx

  • Hi Jane, don't go getting yourself down. This can be sorted. Don't forget that these are all private companies, so if they get really awkward with you,complain to Social services! demand they find you another company, (hopefully you have more than one in your Area!!!) it might be, that when this particular girl comes, you sit in, so they don't chat too much, or else, keep butting in and asking Brian questions - "Do you understand what these girls are saying?" "Are they talking too fast for you?". Or anything you can think of. Obviously, warn Brian before, so he knows how to answer!!! Might make them think!!! (I did say might!!!)

    Jane, you sound very tired, probably you did too much last week, as someone has said, this is your honeymoon, so take some much earned rest and enjoy the feeling of being Mr and Mrs!!!

    Lots of love

    Heady

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