This is a beautiful and meaningful article

[easterncedar]

salon.com/2014/09/06/alzhei...

I found it helpful, reinforcing the lesson often given here to live in the present. Best wishes to all, Easterncedar

[Heady]

Wow! What a powerful article. If only I could feel and act like her! Although I suppose I, you and every other carer does, in our own sweet way. I do feel that S's problems are mine. I do feel that if I take these problems on, it will give S some relief from them. Yes, I do love the new S, even though I miss the old one dreadfully.

I thought the idea of being a mirror is brilliant, especially for PSP. That one I really will have to take on board. I know I am always showing S how to do basic things and thinking about it, I am already being that mirror. Just having spelt it out, in such a beautiful way, changes the thought process!

Don't know how you found this article Easterncedar, but thanks very much for sharing it. I must try and print it off and share with others.

Lots of love

Heady

[easterncedar in reply to Heady]

Thanks for underlining the point about mirroring, Heady. Boy, sometimes you get what you need in the nick of time. My dear man woke up this morning at 4 and was dressed and heading out the door before I caught up. (I was sitting up icing my shoulder.) I had quite a time getting him back to bed, but thought quickly about what I was projecting, and tried to be calm and cheerful instead of anxious. He said "Foiled again!" And we laughed, and he has slept well. I called work and said I'll be late. On we go.

[Heady in reply to easterncedar]

What is it about 4.00am? I am always trying to stop S taking his morning pills at this time. Although this morning he put the radio on, it's a clock radio, so he would have had to see the time. It was still dark! I wouldn't mind too much, but that is normally the time I finally drop off, after hours of tossing and turning, so trying to smile and be understanding, is to put mildly, impossible!!!!

Lots of love

Heady

[Heady in reply to easterncedar]

Hi, tried this present lark, all you are left with, is an arrogant man, who doesn't care, thinks only about himself and you, who's that's, something the dog bought in? ,!!!!!!

Not in love

Heady!

[jzygirl in reply to Heady]

Dear heady sounds like you are having tough time at the moment. My words today were everything is done to "suit you sir" what about what suits me. After all the years I've worked in the care industry I'm still confused as to if it's the cared for gets naturally me me or we make them like it by caring to much. Just a thought. Janex

[goldcap in reply to jzygirl]

Heady I am sorry you are feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. I think there are several of us on this site who are in the same place. This stage may very well be the most challenging, at least from my perspective. They are like toddlers who are just learning to walk and determined to get where they want to go no matter what. But we cannot "childproof" for PSP can we? Whenever I feel like I just can't take anymore I think,"I wonder how he feels right now?" It puts it all in perspective. After a very frustrating day he said t me,"this is who you think I am".

I send you love and huge hugs-and a good night's sleep if possible.

Much love JGC

[Heady in reply to goldcap]

Hi JGC, thanks, needed those hugs! Toddler, mixed with a stroppy teenager and a grumpy old man, I think sums it up more! Not a pretty sight! Or easy to handle. The first two were a challenge when I had them, this is impossible! Still I'll get through, have to, don't I. Off to the Lake District for the weekend, so hopefully blow the cobwebs away!

Lots of love

Heady

[Heady in reply to jzygirl]

Hi thanks for the reply. I think you are right. I didn't USE to think you could care too much, guess I was wrong! Feeling a bit better, off for a weekend in the Lake District. So hopefully will be able to blow a few cobwebs away.

Lots of love

Heady

[easterncedar in reply to Heady]

Oh, yes! I get all three, too, and sometimes the dear little boy, who breaks my heart. It's all hard, whether he's tugging at my heart strings or trying my temper, but on we go, because we must. I hope the Lake District trip refreshes and strengthens you, Heady. Love, ec

[jzygirl]

What a fantastic insight into being a carer. It just shows you that we do have to take each moment for what it is.

[Hidden]

Really good, the present is a present as they say! We we won't have this moment again.

[jillannf6]

ye s easterncedar

a lovely article

so good of you to find it and share it with us

lol JIll

[easterncedar in reply to jillannf6]

How are you, Jill? Your father pulled through the most recent crisis? Are you still in Yorkshire? How are YOU doing? Locke, EC

[easterncedar in reply to jillannf6]

umm...that Locke earlier was meant to be Love. Love, EC

[puyella]

hi eastern cedar just looking at your post but just think if we all lived in the present nobody would have any stories to tell mate would they just think about it peter jones alias =puyella

[Heady in reply to puyella]

What's with the "puyella" Peter Jones?

Regarding the article, I agree, we all need stories. But remember this woman was writing about Alzheimer's, not PSP. My Mum has Alzheimer's and the past is very quickly disappearing. While we try to remind her, I am coming the the conclusion that is wrong, it confuses her greatly, therefore she gets upset, which leads everyone else getting upset. Obviously, there is no real future, so yes, there is only the present.

One little point about the future, if we got rid of that, just think of all of the politicians we could get rid of, promising us the world and delivering nothing!!!

Lots of love

Heady

[puyella in reply to Heady]

hi heady i'll drink to that \\ hows it going mate ok io hope well puyella just came up I just typed some letters and there it was but I liked the peter jones better but not being computer minded im not sure h0w to get back to my old =name

well mate I ended back up the hospital again I got out of bed stood up and then proceeded to fall over right on my wheely walker which took a slice off of my ear so my wife rang the ambulance and they took me to the hospital of my choice where I saw the dr who said to me it will only nered 3 stitches anyway 13 stitches later and a thing they called the be sting for deadening it first 5 of them I felt great especially seeing as it was in my ear well outside if you know what I mean I thought good job she was not working out my wages after telling me that

I would only need 3 stitches sand tyhje best of it wast6he dr could do it anyway and had to get a plastic surgeon to do it because it was complicated

anyway mate 6thats my bit for today regards to s and tell him to hang in there for me and of course yourself mate peter jones alias puyella see yer

[goldcap in reply to puyella]

Oh dear Peter, so sorry you took a tumble. My hubby took a trip over one of the dogs and ripped up his arm quite a bit. He has had several parts of his head/face stitched up in the last year so much that they took him aside and asked if I was boxing him a bit. He tripped over his walker as well and slit his lip. I've gotten quite good at bandaging him up. I read that with PSP your senses are not sharp and if you are in darkness it makes it worse. I got a night light so if he gets up and I dont' wake up he can at least see where he is going! For some reason I always wake up when he is getting back into bed. So leave a light on! I am glad you still have your ear

[Heady in reply to puyella]

Gosh Peter, 13 stitches. WOW, that's impressive, even for you! S managed to fall flat on his face this week, it's was fresh air, he tripped over. Still, the nurse who glued him back together, was very sweet!

Look after yourself.

Lots of love

Heady

[easterncedar in reply to puyella]

Right as ever, Mr. Jones! I think the trick is to keep the worries of the future at bay, not to forget the past. We need all the stories to make sense of it, and to keep us laughing! Sorry about your ear, but glad it was fixable. I have a pal who fell and took half his ear clean off recently. The plastic surgeon said he could fix it, but would need to take some bits from a rib or a leg to do it, so my friend decided he'd just wear his hair a little longer - but at the rate his hair is abandoning him, that's not going to work for long!

[LynnO]

Thank you for sharing this article. It is a wonderful, and necessary way to look at the life we are sharing now. I think I'll have to read it every day just to remind me!!

Lynn

[goldcap]

Wow! Just wow...

[peterjones]

too right eastern cedar stick with it matey

[easterncedar in reply to peterjones]

Good to hear from you, dear Mr. Jones! It's cold cold cold here today. At this rate all the lakes will be frozen in time for Christmas day skating! I hope you're staying cool in Queensland! Really, how are you today? Peace, EC

[peterjones]

good morning eastern cedar and mr cedar how are you both today ok I hope well mate as you may know or not know summer was on the 1st of dec officially that is the temp has been around the 31 and one day was 37 but the humidity has been high today is 85 per cent which saps the energy out of you thats if you had any to start with of course I think australia is a hard country mate but beautiful I hate to think of the earlier convicts that came here from England for stealing a loaf of bread thought about the place it must have been hell for them that's if they survived the journey I think I was born the right time mates there was just the war going on when I was 3 years old

and doodlebugs flying around the place or rockets I should say

I remember them well they used to come over then the engine or fuel would give out you never knew where they were going t land and blow up the good old days when you never had a banana and had powdered milk and powdered eggs blimery ive come off the track a bit from convicts to the war well mates I wont bore you any longer I will say stick with it mr c take care of yourselves don't skate on thin ice mrs c now all the lakes are starting to freese over will you I will take your word for it that it looks pretty ==========pretty cold I should think see yer you two peter jones queensland Australia psp sufferer

[easterncedar]

Oh that's a very interesting em Mr. Jones. I want to know more. Were these doodlebugs flying in Australia? Or did you emigrate from England after the war?

I've always been very interested in the history of Australia as a penal colony. What a terrible thing to do, exile people so far from all they knew, into such a harsh environment , so alien. But then, the punishments back in England were horrible, too.

[peterjones]

hi mr and mrs easterncedar hows it going mates ok I hope have not heard from you in a while so I thought I would drop you a quick line to see if you are ok I hope so and to wish you a very HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY SPECIAL NEW YEAR AND HOPE ALL YOIUR WISHES COME TRUE FOR YOU TAKE CARE PETERR JONES QUEENSLAND AUSTRALIA PSP SUFFERER

[peterjones]

hi mr and mrs easterncedar hows it going mates ok I hope have not heard from you in a while so I thought I would drop you a quick line to see if you are ok I hope so and to wish you a very HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY SPECIAL NEW YEAR AND HOPE ALL YOIUR WISHES COME TRUE FOR YOU TAKE CARE PETERR JONES QUEENSLAND AUSTRALIA PSP SUFFERER