Does anyone's loved one make unreasonable financial requests?

My husband (Gerry) was misdiagnosed in Jan 07 with Parkinson's and in March of 08 was diagnosed with PSP. He has been in a care home since this past June. He always was a wheeler dealer kind of a guy and he likes to keep his mind busy with "deals". Lately he has wanted to buy the wheelchairs of people whom have passed away in the home. Last week he wanted to buy an old Handy Dart Bus, yesterday he informed me that he is going sell one kidney. I know it won't happen but I don't know if I should tell him it's part of his disease that's making him think thes things or to just let him believe it's going to happen. He is still quite alert and knows what's going on. He truly believes all these things are normal and viable. It wears on me because he gets mad that I won't give him the money (that we don't have) for these ridiculous requests. I would be very grateful for suggestions on the matter.

Frazzled

Linda in British Columbia

11 Replies

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  • Hi Linda,

    Don't have any answers for you, but Bob was doing the same sort of thing. He was checking the local "buy and sell" paper and wanting me to call and inquire about things. Later we bought an Ipad to help him with his communication, (keep in mind this man is pretty well computer illiterate) next thing I know he's bidding on line for crossbows, trucks, you name it. Fortunately the confirmation emails were coming to me, and needless to say were not confirmed. He seems to have gotten over that, but... frustrating. I don't think anything he tried to buy would have been anything that he could use. Now he's into scratch tickets, hoping to win big, that's pretty harmless, after all he can't go and get his own tickets, so it"s limited. I'm not sure but I think some of these behaviors are compulsiveness brought on by the PSP. Sorry I don't have a solution for you, but at least you know you're not alone. Good luck.

    joan

  • Laroux, My first wife had another rare brain disease. She was pressing me to buy a pontoon boat. We didn't live near a large enough lake. I just had to stand my ground on the issue and watch our bank accounts carefully. Jimbo

  • Jimbo, did someone put a curse on you?

  • No curse but certainly the odds of having two spouses with brain diseases is off the charts. CJD took my wife in four months. During that time she went from pretty normal (some cognitive issues) to being blind, mute, no mobility, unable to eat, etc. It happened quickly. This PSP is moving much more slowly in my current wife. I always tell everyone that it doesn't matter if it's fast or slow the pain is the same. Never thought about a curse but don't believe in them, especially for those of faith.

    Jimbo

  • summertime 476 wheeler and dealer mate he has not purchased the Sydney harbour bridge yet mate or the opera house or else I would have heard of it so let him have hes fantasy or dreams or whatever just as long as you have control of the purse strings mate I would not worry to much over it by the time you have finished worrying he will have gone onto something else to buy I know mine has been royal doulton figurines and plates of the old balloon seller I did buy a box of odds and ends once it contained clocks and watches and an 8 day clock so we always knew the time in our house [[ also some lighters and some 1950 travelling clocks which are now selling for 35 dollars each I paid 20 dollars for\the lot at auction once but my wife was with me so I could not run riot over other things could I mate anyway matey don't worry to much about Gerry by the time you are getting all worked up over him he will be onto other stuff so take care keep hold of the of the purse strings

    and you cant go far wrong see yer peter jones queensland Australia psp sufferer and wheeler and dealer if I could be \\ my dad was one and he never had psp

  • good on yer mate !!

  • thanks shasha hows me old mate fred getting on ok I hope and yourself of course I hope everything in the world is rosy for you take care peter jones queensland Australia psp sufferer

  • Good point Christine. I had forgotten about that side effect. Drugs can cause some weird and extreme responses in some people. Jimbo

  • Christine, absolutely right. Higher levels of medications containing levodopa can cause impulsive behavior. Parkinson's patience taking it at higher dosages have developed gambling and other impulsive addictive behaviors as well as sexual urges. Just had a dinner conversation with a friend of a Parkinson's patient who has been on a gabling spree and frequented Mustang ranch ( yes it's what you think). SG476, as long as you have power of attorney over your finances you should be ok. The kidney thing is a bit extreme, but he might be on to something with the wheelchairs:)

  • This is a tough one. If it continues you may have to invoke your Power of Attorney document with the bank and have him taken off the accounts or ask the bank to contact you on any financial transactions from your accounts that are greater than a specified amount. If you take action it may anger him initially but is for the good of you both. You will have to keep tabs on your bank accounts to assure he doesn't make some drastic transaction. Hopefully he doesn't have a checkbook or means of accessing your accounts while in the care facility. PSP is a dementia disease so irrational behavior can occur. You have to protect yourself and your joint assets. Again, for the good of you both. Just my opinion. Jimbo

  • Jimbo, sad but true. GC

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