Fearing the future

Haven't posted in a while but circumstances are changing and I am not sure what we should expect to happen next.

Two weeks ago my mother in law finally agreed to go into respite (after much wailing and hysterics!) this gave her hubby a chance to get a much needed break away while family visited her every day and she seemed very settled. When he returned he wasn't in the room 5 mins when she let have it with both barrels! full on crying fit and hysterics and all the emotional black mail to boot - poor man was so upset by it all! Incidentally she was never like this the week he was gone.

He wants to arrange another week in july but when he spoke to the care home they informed him they said that they won't take her again because she needs so much care and she requires specialised nursing care attached to a hospital (she needs to be spoon feed and moved by hoist from bed to wheel chair just to mention a few concerns)

He wants her to stay at home as much as possible with respite (despite the tears) to help him cope. He spoke to her doctor and he is suggesting the time has come for full time care, as much for his health as hers. There is also budgetary issues - the health trust says she is at the top level of care for home and its also cheaper to make her go into a home permanently - can they demand this happens?

Love as always

Bubbles x

2 Replies

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  • I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PARENTS DILEMA - I AM PRETTY SURE THOUGH THAT THE AUTHORITY CAN MAKE HER GO INTO A HOME - OR ELSE THEY WONT COME TO HER AT ALL - SORRY

  • Hi Bubbles, sounds like your mum is at the stage my hubby is at although he cant talk and hasn't for a couple of years now. You didn't say how old your Dad and mum were? I don't believe they can force someone into care if both parents wont allow it,having said that i have been looking for part time care to no avail ( in Australia that is) Hubby was a real problem to get him to take respite but the only other option was full time care so he agreed, the MS society have homes here for neurological patients to take short term respite, so why don't you look up for your parents by asking the MS society or Parkinson's or even Alzheimer/ neurological society's and make inquiries for them. every little helps and remember it wont be easy for them to split up imagine yourself in their position. good luck

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