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Prostate Cancer And Gay Men
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Happy Bunny day!

I am glad I found a place where I can be be gay, and open about my prostate cancer dx. I want to know how other men at 62 are coping with this shit. I had it removed in December, 2018. It seems it just the beginning of a long road or journey. It hit me that this was just part of the process. If you have positive margins and other issues that i have had they want to start zapping you or taking your testosterone away. WTF

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I understand. I feel as if the thing wants to take away my sexuality. Be well.

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Welcome to the group. I wish I had an optimistic response. The good need is we are here. The outcome is different for everyone. Some men say their sex life post RP is good, while others battle with a myriad of issues from ED, incontinence and other frustrations, while some may still be battling cancer. Unfortunately for me, I suffer with both ED and the incontinence comes and goes. Nothing like waking up in the middle of the night having wet yourself. Oh, and my surgery was in 2011 when I was 53 y/o. Cannot imagine dating. Talk about crossing a bridge when you get to it! I would have several bridges to cross trying to explain my physical limitations and other issues to a would be romantic partner. Nevertheless, I have immersed myself in projects that I’m passionate about, which keeps me busy and less focused on wanting to date. At the end of the day, this site is helpful because there are some great guys on here who share and listen and respond and offer great advice. The journey is beyond frustrating. But we are not alone!

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Also, be aware there are several other communities that have posts you may be interested in. I am not gay, but love the info shared here as all of it is relevant to my life, I am six months post RRP surgery with ED, but no incontinence. Others on my home site on HealthUnlocked: Active Surveillance Prostate Cancer, Advanced Prostate Cancer, Prostate Cancer Network, and Sensitive Issues for Men.

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It goods that all men are on the site. Because the bottom line is we are all men and have the same issues gay, bi, black, hetro, men are men. ED does not discriminate. i have learned the pump and using Tadalafil, stimulating your self at least 5 time a week works. It not easy but I am 4 months post op. it does take some commitment to keep yourself going. If for no other reason yo need to use the first months post surgery. If not the cells and blood vessels contract and you will have more loss of length. Plus yo can still have an orgasm eve if not completely erect. Good luck and dont stop experimenting its the only way your going to find out what works for you. I am still learning.

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You can have an orgasm completely limp, too. I know. It just takes both hands.

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I’m almost a year after surgery and feel like you. I have found that most of the treatments are from an older straight mans perspective. I had to raise ED with the consultant and have found while I can get a response from pumps, drugs and injections not one strong enough for anal penetration. It’s also been very frustrating to have people suggest I change and bottom. I haven’t given up though and am looking at an implant. Best of luck to you.

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I had similar resection results with positive margins, but no evidence of spread elsewhere and elected to have radiation, and anti-androgen meds for 6 months. The radiation was tolerable, with little appreciable side effects (at least as of now, 1 1/2 years after it). My oncologist tells me that a recent published and presented study states that this combination for Gleason 7-8 cancer, with positive margins, has much better long-term outcomes than watchful waiting with PSA monitoring. Haven't had erections return yet, nearly 2 years post-resection, but still hoping...

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Hey Healthynurse, Not sure what your situation is, but I felt the same way before I started treatments. I am now more than halfway through and it isnt half as bad as I thought. I am having sex (although very different) with 0 testosterone, and I am anticipating that after treatements and some more erectile rehabilitation efforts my sex life and testosterone will return to a somewhat normal state. Good luck my friend.

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I'm gay age 69. Had radiation 8 weeks-2005-2005. Gl 6 PSA 6.9.

May have done "AS" back then but it wasn't encouraged and was't that prevalent (in 2004) as it is now...i have no regrets! Have always had low PSA's (in the neighborhood of 1.0. since then). None of my doctors seem to want to do anything at this point. Never have had ADT.

I am not in a relationship . My sexual activity is non-existent which I don't mind. In some respects, it's nice to get that out of the way. Some guys may think that's a defeatist attitude.

Anyway, good luck to all and to Healthynurse for starting this thread...

Billy

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I am gay and 68 years old. I had a radical prostectomy three years ago. I am not impotent but erections are not as easy or as good as presurgery but it seems that there is still improvement , (is that possible)? My biggest problem is that I am still incontinent. I will probably have to have surgery for that. Either AUS or mesh. Good luck to you. Try not to be discouraged. Defeating the cancer is the most important thing.

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The medications do help. Most insurance wont cover. Pharmstore out of Canada gets meds from all over the world in just a few weeks with RX from Doc. very affordable.

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Thank you. I am waiting on an order now from Pharmstore.

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I am trying to decide whats next. Radiation, ADT both none. I am not sure if I should wait until PSA goes up. Or to stat tx. I had positive margins and break out of cancer form prostate. Anyone have any suggestions who have high risk P ca.? its really a roller coaster ride. In the AM i may be up, by noon I may be down and by dinner time, I am not sure.

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