Glad to find you

[Centerman]

I'm new to this site. I have been receiving Eligard injections for appox 9 months....good for PSA ...not so good for healthy sexual activity.

[westseraph]

Testosterone deprivation will do that. I'm on Lupron (three years now) and was on Xtandi (enzalutamide) until that stopped helping. Lots of side effects, including on how my sex life works. What's going on for you? I'm happy to share and talk about details, if that would help you.

[Centerman in reply to westseraph]

thanx Bro.....well my Dr. Says my pc is arrested. My PSA is 1 thanx to Eligard but the desire for sex as diminished so has my dick...I am able to get off by myself but it is not ANYTHING like before, can't get a hard on & there is very little ejaculate 😞. Single and haven't figured how to date with this issue...just stay busy with other things...but it is on my mind constantly ~ frustrated !!!!!

[westseraph in reply to Centerman]

Ah - got it. I'm really glad to hear your cancer is arrested - most important thing.

Single and partnered are two different worlds when dealing with this kind of thing. I'm married, but there are LOTS of guys here who are single and dealing with the challenges of dating and relating to other men while dealing with the side effects of treatments.

I began receiving Lupron because my cancer was diagnosed in January of 2013 as Stage 4 (metastatic) and a Gleason 9 level of aggressiveness. No point in having prostate surgery, as the cancer had already left the barn.

In the first year of testosterone deprivation, I found I couldn't really get hard for the first several months. I haven't had an orgasm or cum since January of 2013. I was also on megace for hot flashes, but needed to get off that after a few months. After 6 months or so, I started getting harder and got some precum, but nothing more.

I enjoy sex occasionally - every few weeks or so. My libido is nowhere near what it was. My husband knows it feels good to me to be touched, and he knows it won't result in orgasm for me. We don't care - I can get him off and feel good while I do it. The key is that he knows what to expect and what it means; he knows that my lack of cum does NOT mean I don't want him or am not attracted to him or am not enjoying myself. The rest of the time, touch is really important for our relationship, way beyond sex.

Back when I was single, years before cancer, I still had some health problems getting in the way of certain sex acts and other men's expectations, and I had to live with the fact that I needed a certain kind of guy - patient, understanding, caring, creative - to have a good experience, or any real experience. I found some - they're out there, but it can take a while of putting yourself out there to find them. I was sometimes discouraged. No guarantees, but it's possible. My husband dealt with those limitations, as frustrating as they were sometimes, out of attraction and eventually love; he deals with more limitations now.

[Centerman in reply to westseraph]

Sorry so long to get to you Westy..I'll use that nick....thanx for letting me know more about yr journey. ...you are so fortunate to have a soulmate...guess I'll have to be vulnerable and see where it leads...really don't deal well with rejection. .. Anyway,I did discover a gay men w/prostate Ca support group in LA..I live in Long Beach so it's not far. I plan to go asap...really would like to start a group here...thanx for the kind words of hope....talk soon. Randy

[koiboi in reply to Centerman]

Hey Centerman, could you give us some info on the california/long beach group? I'm in northern cali but no groups!