Miscarriage at week 9 😔.

[Jogsandwalks]

Completely gutted and devastated to share that I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I posted on here not long ago, about a week ago, that I was concerned about my lack of symptoms and the last time I was pregnant and was posting on here, I explained that my symptoms were causing terrible morning sickness, whereas this time there was hardly any. The community on here are really supportive and shared their stories of also not having any symptoms early on, which of course was reassuring but at the same time my gut was telling this is so strange, especially compared with my first time.

Anyway, it turned out the lack of symptoms did mean bad news. I started bleeding two days ago went to A&E. Then went for a scan yesterday morning and was told the fetus had stopped growing. I then bled out all yesterday evening and night to clear it all out.

I feel empty, not only in my womb but in myself as well. Its just gutting. I know I only got to 9 weeks, but the promise and the hope, the excitement of what was to be has all gone. And not to mention, its really painful cramping and changing pads all evening and night to clear it out. Horrible, just horrible. Sorry to be graphic.

Anyway, I'm just sharing because I'm sad and need a place to vent. But also because I need to share about stress. I've been under so much stress at work and in my life and I neglected to take care of myself and my little passenger. If you Google if stress causes miscarriage and Google will say, no, not clinically proven, not necessarily, its genetic etc but I really believe stress was a factor in this.

I've been really well supported by my family and my partner, and not to forget the shopkeeper at the corner shop who gave me a discount because she felt sorry for me yesterday when I went there to drown my sorrows in chocolate and ice cream.

I would say, ladies, don't underestimate the impact of stress on pregnancy. If you're of an older age (like me) and have managed to get pregnant after a while, then that's when it gets tricky. I'm going to take sometime to heal and when I try again, I'm going to focus all my efforts on the pregnancy. Nothing else matters.

I don't think I have any questions, this is more of a ramble. But I would also like to know, if any of you have been through early miscarriage then managed to make lifestyle changes and reduce stress to successfully conceive the next time. Thanks for reading this far.

[Pugs079]

There are no words that can truly comfort you in a time like this. Please try not to blame yourself, though I know that’s easier said than done. Unfortunately, some things are beyond our control. Take the time you need to heal emotionally before considering trying again—if that’s what feels right for you. Sending you a heartfelt hug. Xx

[Jogsandwalks in reply to Pugs079]

Thank you for your kind words x

[Annalieseonline]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I have been through 7 pregnancy losses (6 were early miscarriages between 7-9 weeks and 1 was a stillbirth at 26 weeks) and I can totally count stress for at least 3 of those losses. Physical and emotional stress.

We think stress is just in the mind but scientifically it has been proven that there are negative hormones that are released and are organs act differently, so it’s only right that a certain amount of stress on certain people will cause a miscarriage at a precious time like that.

I totally understand also the miscarriage can have a big impact on you as you not only loosing a baby but you simultaneously lose all the dreams and hopes you started to build for that baby and yourself/family.

Also no symptoms doesn’t always mean bad news, however one should always follow their gut feeling.

5 of my losses were before I even had a successful pregnancy and with my first successful pregnancy and live baby I made a lot of changes. I stopped working (called in sick) from the moment I found out, cut off all family members (my family are a handful), avoided any heavy lifting/pushing and tried not to argue with my partner or let things get to me.

I did also have to take medication (because of my Sickle Cell) they gave me blood thinners, progesterone and aspirin.

But in that pregnancy I had absolutely no symptoms and then 6 weeks came and I got terrible cramping and thought no again I’m going to lose this baby, coz that’s how it starts for me. Cramping and then bleeding or bleeding and then cramping. Thankfully I didn’t however the cramping was constant every single day until the end of 17 weeks, my only symptom throughout the whole pregnancy.

After this child I fell pregnant but had lost it (6th lose) but then I fell pregnant right after with no period and that pregnancy was successful and so different from my first, where I had no symptoms but cramping this pregnancy my nausea was terrible. As soon as I woke up I had to eat and constantly had to have something in my mouth otherwise I’d feel really hungry to the point that I felt faint, dizzy and lightheaded. That was also my most difficult pregnancy in terms of my health condition.

I went on to have another successful pregnancy after that. So I have had 10 pregnancies so far and only three towards the end were successful, with the help of lifestyle changes, prayers and medication.

I wish you all the best and take time to go through all the emotions you are experiencing right now x

[Jogsandwalks in reply to Annalieseonline]

Gosh, what a journey! Wow so inspiring that you kept going and now have three children. Thank you for sharing this. It is interesting that you note stress as a factor and taking steps to de-stress resulted in success. I believe this is what I need to do now. Thank you for your kind words xx

[FreddiePats]

I am so sorry. I haven’t been through this but I understand the feeling of loss and heartache around fertility, having gone through IVF treatment. It’s so tough. All I can advise is be totally selfish right now and do all the things you need - call in sick, eat all the chocolate, all the box sets. Cry it all out. So sorry for your loss.

[Jogsandwalks in reply to FreddiePats]

Bless you, thank you. And I hope it remains that you never experience it. Thank you so much for you lovely words xx