An long overdue update - baby Eliza arrived 16-2-22.

[Jess1981]

Hi sorry this has taken me so long to do.

I had lots of replies and support during my pregnancy.

I was induced at 39 weeks mainly due to her size being so big and I was worried about complications that are associated with bigger sized babies . I know people say growth scans aren’t always accurate- in my case they were right. She was 9 lbs 15 oz at 39 weeks!

The gel failed - but when my waters were broken I went into full swing labour! I had pethidine unfortunately we didn’t realise I was in established labour- pethidine isn’t recommended in established labour due to baby having breathing issues after birth.

I was 10 cm dilated within half an hour! My other labours were fast but this was crazy fast!

Unfortunately Eliza was back to back ( I had awful backache during monitoring with Eliza) she also got her shoulder luckily for me I had an obstetrician help me deliver Eliza safely with a suction cup - it was very traumatic she was losing oxygen with each contraction that I had. I was pushing as hard as I could to get her out her ASAP.

She was born an hour and 5 minutes after my waters were broken and she didn’t cry the midwife had to rub her down.

4 hours after birth she was taken away from me- no one explained why they were taking her off me. I was totality freaked out. It turned out she was admitted to neonatal ward- and all wired up to help her breathe. It was deeply upsetting to see my baby wired up and I feared I was losing her like I lost my daughter Amelia. I was only allowed to express breast milk- but later that evening they allowed me to feed her. The first night she was in incubator it was awful putting her back there I missed her- I was allowed a room on the ward which was nice I kept going to see her. The next day she was allowed to my room whilst being monitored. She kept improving and was discharged the following day.

In hindsight I think I should’ve probably opted for a c section when I learned how big she was - measuring 40 +3 weeks at 37 weeks her growing increased even more at the end ! Sadly bigger sized babies often have difficult births and can have breathing issues after birth I only learned this after birthing Eliza 🥲

Main thing is Eliza is okay we feel fairly traumatised by it and the journey we endeared to have her- a late loss of our daughter Amelia at 20 weeks pregnant and 2 early miscarriages but finally our family is completed. I’m definitely not having any other children. I’m very happy with my son ( whose grown up) and 3 but 2 live daughters ❤️ What a journey it has been but feel very blessed 😇 Xx

[HollieW]

What a journey Jess. Your birth with Eliza sounds very similar to mine with Brontë who was 10 pounds 2.5oz. She was emergency c section in the end after failed induction and she also had to be rushed off too. I'm so glad all is okay though and you have now completed your family ❤ xx

[Jess1981 in reply to HollieW]

I’m really sorry your birth experience was also traumatic especially after such a journey to be pregnant 🥲 blimey 10 lbs 3 oz was that expected?! I wasn’t expecting Eliza to be quite as big as she was!I’m also really sorry to hear the treatment wasn’t successful and you ceased treatment( had a nosy) 🥲 I really hoped you’d have better news 💔🥲 such a horrible cruel journey. 💔Xx

[HollieW in reply to Jess1981]

They suspected she was going to be big but wasn't quite expecting that big! I am confident I had gestational diabetes but they didn't test me until 34 weeks and results are unreliable at that stage. The benefit of a big baby is they eat well as Brontë loved her milk (and still does). I couldn't get it down her quick enough!

Yes, we have sadly reached the end of our Fertility journey. I tried so hard to have another one but it just wasn't meant to be 😪 xxx

[Ellie1005]

Congratulations Jess, it sounded like a very difficult ordeal but so glad you have Eliza home and well now and hope you get to enjoy each moment, sending lots of love xxx

[Jess1981 in reply to Ellie1005]

Thank you and all the best with the rest of your pregnancy hope all goes smoothly Xx

[Seb9]

Congratulations on the arrival of baby Eliza, such a lovely name. What a journey you guys have had, wishing you guys all the best and that you're enjoying your time together now xx

[Jess1981 in reply to Seb9]

Thank you and for all the helpful advice you’ve given me Xx

[Eternalwarrior]

What a journey you have had, Jess! I have been following your journey and I was looking forward to hearing your happy news. I am so sorry the birth was so traumatic for you and Eliza but I am so happy to hear about your happy ending and that your family is complete. Thank you for all the support you have given and always give in the Fertility Forum too.Enjoy your not so little bundle of joy!!!

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Jess1981 in reply to Eternalwarrior]

Thank you and wishing you the best with the rest of your pregnancy nearly there now there ❤️Xx

[Millbanks]

Congratulations lovely!!! So pleased it all was ok in the end xxx

[Jess1981 in reply to Millbanks]

Thank you and all the best with the rest of your pregnancy not long now 😍 Xx

[Millbanks in reply to Jess1981]

2.5 weeks 😱😱😱 - thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[Solly-44 in reply to Millbanks]

So close! Do you feel ready? Is your bag packed?? Xx

[Millbanks in reply to Solly-44]

I know, some days it still feels surreal, even with the bambino wriggling around inside me. Just completely crazy…I’m so ready but it’s also a bit bittersweet as I’ve truly loved being pregnant and I’m sad that we won’t be connected in the same way. Sounds so silly after all we went through to get here 🤦🏼‍♀️

Bag is pretty much packed!!

How are you getting on lovely? Xx

[Solly-44 in reply to Millbanks]

Ah, no I completely get it, it’s the most surreal but amazing time 💕 Enjoy your final weeks although you’re probably getting a bit uncomfortable by now! I’m ok thanks, plodding along xx

[Millbanks in reply to Solly-44]

Thanks lovely, going upstairs is hard work now! And we're up 2 flights..... but other than that all seems to be good - trying to figure out bottles at the moment 🙈 xxx

[Bella_Bee]

Oh wow Jess, what a trip! I can see how challenging it must have been but the only thing that matters is that she's ok. So happy for you, massive congratulations! Is she sleeping and feeding well? How are YOU feeling? It's my turn on Tuesday, absolutely 💩💩💩💩 my 👖!! 😁

[Jess1981 in reply to Bella_Bee]

Thank you. Haha to sleep what sleep 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ We are slowly adjusting from having one child to 2! 😂 Francesca has been amazing such a lovely sister 😍 I hope the delivery went well? And I hope that you have a better sleeping baby then mine is! ❤️Xx

[Mcra]

Huge congratulations! What a lovely name. I'm sorry your labour and days after were so stressful, but I'm glad Eliza is fine now. Enjoy those special first weeks 😊

[Jess1981 in reply to Mcra]

Thank you Xx

[Jogsandwalks]

Massive congratulations! Well done. Thank so much for sharing your story. Glad to hear you and Eliza are doing well ♥️

[Jess1981 in reply to Jogsandwalks]

Thank you hope you are ok Xx

[Sparklylife]

That sounds so scary for you - I hope you are getting some follow up and get to speak about your experiences. Glad you are both safe! Congratulations to you all! Welcome to the world Eliza! 🥰

[Jess1981 in reply to Sparklylife]

Aww thank you she definitely gave us a scare! Xx

[dexy1389]

Congratulations!!!💪🏻❤️🥰

[Jess1981 in reply to dexy1389]

Thank you Xx

[JoyfulStar]

Wow! What a journey you have been through. Really pleased it all worked out for you. Eliza is obviously a fighter!

I had a planned C section because Micah was breech but would have thought twice about it if I had other children unless I had lots of support including DH after the birth.

What I am saying is that although you might have some regrets, c sections will not suit everyone’s circumstances as the recovery for the first week or two is hard. Also some people struggle to recover quickly. I was one of the lucky ones but still had some low points.

The birth might have been traumatic but the outcome was positive and now you can really focus on your family with no restrictions and recovery from surgery to worry about.

[Jess1981 in reply to JoyfulStar]

Thank you. I think you hit the nail on the head I was wondering how I’d manage with recovery of a c section whilst looking after my lovely but lively toddler who is the best older sister 😍 the main thing is they got her out safely and she is thriving now 😍 I hope you and little one are doing well? ❤️Xx

[JoyfulStar in reply to Jess1981]

We are thank you! 💕

[Running79]

Congrats that she has arrived, and sad at the same time you had a traumatic birth, it’s not on the staff not telling you things - that happened to me and it really grates

Hopefully she will settle into your home and at some point - what’s happened will be a distant memory

[Jess1981 in reply to Running79]

Thank you and I’m really sorry you had a similar experience it isn’t on at all. 😥I hope you and your little girl are doing well? ❤️Xx

[Running79 in reply to Jess1981]

We are doing well, thanks xx

[Honeynut37]

Congratulations, beautiful name, it was on my list- I think it means Joy?? I'm sure she will fill the home with joy too x

[Jess1981 in reply to Honeynut37]

Aww thank you. She definitely fills us with joy 🤩 Xx

[Materialbarbie]

What a time you’ve had bless you! I’m so glad Eliza is finally here! How are you holding up!?

It sounds like a lot of trauma again for you so take it easy mamma! I had pethidine 3 hours before Tommy was born and with him being bigger he wasn’t breathing either and he’d to go to special care!

Don’t worry yourself about not opting for the c section, you weren’t to know and did what was best for you and what you were comfortable with. Rest up and take it easy❤️!

Enjoy the baby snuggles xxxx

[Jess1981 in reply to Materialbarbie]

Thank you. I’m really sorry to hear you experienced that with Tommy 🥲 seems quite common with bigger sized babies 🥲 I think more research is needed for the handling with delivery of bigger sized babies. It has been a shock going from 1 to 2 under 3! But Francesca has been amazing and is the best older sister. I’ve been lucky Francesca has adapted so well. Now I’m not pregnant anymore I have started to take Francesca out to soft play and sensory classes. Due to Covid she hasn’t had any social interaction with her peers so she’s very shy around other children but I’m hoping she will gain confidence in time. Covid has been tough but hopefully life can go back to normal. I hope you and the boys are well? Xx

[Materialbarbie in reply to Jess1981]

Definitely needs to be more research, I opted in for the big baby trial my hospital were doing and ended up sending a letter to the main base that was doing the trial after my experience. The lead professor rang me and thanked me for it as it could be used as evidence as sadly a lot of women on the trial were shown to be having really difficult births leading to intervention or Emergency csections. I’m hoping the trial gives hospitals all the info they need because it can’t go on like this!

Some days you’ll feel like you’re winning and others are super hard but you’re doing amazing mamma❤️!

Tommy is the same as Francesca, he’s just started nursery and has come on so much but covid really has effected them hasnt it! We are doing okay thanks lovely just time is flying by as you know. I’m glad you are doing okay xxx

[Picalilli99]

Huge congratulations Jess! I love the name btw! So sorry to hear that it was a traumatic time for you both. But really pleased to hear that you and those helping you managed to get her here safely and that she is now doing so well. Well done mama 👏. We know that we also have a traumatic time ahead of us unfortunately, due to our baby’s heart diagnosis. So I’m terrified of what’s to come. But trying not to think too far ahead and just hoping things will be ok. What a journey you have been on, so glad it’s finally over for you lovely. Wishing you and your completed family all the best ❤️ Xx

[Jess1981 in reply to Picalilli99]

Thank you I’m grateful she’s here safely ( I could never relax with my history in my pregnancy) I’m so sorry you have had such a stressful pregnancy after such a difficult journey already and knowing that the after birth will also be traumatic 😥 I think your baby is a strong little fighter already 😍 like my Eliza was- I really feared I’d lose her but I think babies are much stronger than we think they are! I know someone who had a baby early due to pre eclampsia and baby was so small he was size of his dads hands and he’s now a strapping lad!

it is a huge sense of relief our journey has finally ended and we got to end it on our own terms we were so lucky 🍀 people even now ask if I want any more children 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 eh no! I think what people don’t see is some of us have a really tough time having children. 🥲I’m super happy & grateful with my children I have I feel very blessed 😍

How far along are you now? Xx

[Picalilli99 in reply to Jess1981]

Oh god - I doubt the unhelpful comments will ever end unfortunately! Yes I know what you mean about little ones being stronger than we realise. Some of the stories I have read about babies with the same diagnosis as ours are just mind blowing in terms of how strong and resilient they are. So I have to just try and hold on to that hope for our little fighter ❤️ We are 27 weeks now xx