Male midwife

[Bozo_the_pumpkin]

Does anyone have a male midwife? What is your experience this far? I have been allocated one and not sure how I feel. I haven’t yet met him but reckon I will give it a chance, but I’m not sure how I feel about it

[Seb9]

Would you have the same issue of you were allocated a male doctor?

[Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Seb9]

Well.. I always request to see a female doctor when I have to see one and smeer tests by female nurse - so I guess the answer is yes.

[Seb9 in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin]

In which case you might want to request a female midwife if you know you're already uncomfortable seeing male doctors. Everyone is entitled to care that they're happy with, you need to be comfortable with your midwife and be able to speak freely to them and not worry about going to see them. For me I've always found all my medical care so clinical and professional I forget all about whether they're male or female, but I know for others it's always going to be uncomfortable. It might be worth meeting with him initially as they don't do any physical examinations of you till they listen to babies heartbeat at 16 weeks and no internal examinations until much later on, like for sweeps or checking your dilated, so you have a while to decide. Otherwise it's just blood pressure and urine samples, if you're happy with him to do those.

[Bozo_the_pumpkin]

Thank you for your insights. I’ve had a few unfortunate experiences with male doctors so it has really put me off. No, unless there is no way to avoid it, I always opt for female medical professional. I wasn’t sure whether there are any physical checks involved, but I will meet him at my 16 week appointment in a couple of weeks. I was really surprised that I was not asked whether I would be ok with a male midwife, in the same way as being asked whether I would like to see a female GP. I will go along to the appointment and meet him I take it from ther

[Seb9 in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin]

That's a such a shame, bad experiences with medical staff can really affect us especially at times when we're already feeling vulnerable. I only met my midwife a few times during my pregnancy and because she wasn't based at the hospital where I gave birth she never did any internal examinations of me, only ever just listened to babies heartbeat,so this might be the same for you.

However when I was in labour in my first pregnancy, they thought at one point I would need assistance and my midwives fetched a male doctor, so I think you might want to discuss it with your midwife at your appointment if it's something you'd be worried about in labour. I would definitely advise advocating for what will make your pregnancy and labour the best for you. Xx

[Chiefy]

Community midwives don't do any intimate checks in my experience, although I had planned c section so maybe it's only if you are looking at a vaginal birth and if so it would only be right at the end.

The appointments are usually really quick, blood pressure taken and urine dipped and a quick how are you. They listen to heartbeat via doppler on your abdomen as you get further along.

See how you go x

[ThisIsUsRRR in reply to Chiefy]

Hi. Just to say my community midwife did my sweep at home and also checked my stitch post birth, these were both voluntary though

[Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to ThisIsUsRRR]

Thank you… seems like quite a lot of personal examinations are involved..

[Seb9 in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin]

I never had a stretch, they're totally voluntary, so you can refuse these completely. They're not even shown to work that much! I also never had stitches or a home visit from my midwife, we go for all our post check ups at the community maternity hospital. So it might be worth seeing what your trust does specifically do you know what you're specific journey would look like.

[Bozo_the_pumpkin]

Hi Chiefy, thank you. So the current midwife is called the community midwife? What other kinds of midwives will I come across? Thank you for your response and the information. It helps massively

[Chiefy in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin]

The one you see throughout your pregnancy at the gp surgery is your community midwife. You see them at 16 weeks, then 20 something (maybe 25 I think) and then every 3 weeks until you get to 30 odd and then it's every fortnight. Once you get to 40 it's more frequent again. Once you have the baby that midwife then visits you at home the day after you are discharged and at day 5 and day 10 to discharge you and they hand you over to the health visitor. They monitor you throughout your pregnancy and should be your port of call for any questions, but to be honest you don't get a lot of time with them, a quick in and out. It's lovely when they start the doppler though and you get to hear the heartbeat at every appointment (again from 20 something weeks). They will also talk you through birth plan etc as time gets near and colostrum harvesting.

The midwives in the hospital are different (I guess unless you live somewhere really remote). You only see them if you have to go to hospital for anything (hopefully not until you are giving birth!)

There's another set of midwives for the home birth team if that's what you choose.

It's a whole new world of experts and health professionals!!

[Bozo_the_pumpkin]

Ah ok.. so I should really be happy and comfy with the community midwife as they will be around right throughout the whole pregnancy and after. I will go along to the appointment and see how it goes then. Thank you so much for all this info.. it’s a whole new world!

[Chloed14]

I had a male nurse in whilst I gave birth and honestly he was so supportive, my midwife’s were always female though as this was something I requested. Hope this helps!

[Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Chloed14]

Thank you very much

[Twiglet2]

If it’s your community midwife I hardly saw mine except for heartbeat and bloods. I’m not sure how I would feel if it was the delivery midwife but I might not care at that point lol. The only thing I can think of that might not be as comfortable with a male community midwife is when they visit you after baby is born if you have had a vaginal birth with stitches they check those in your own house, so having a male examine you in your own bed or couch might be weird for some. Defo do what’s comfortable for you. I would probably ask for that part to be a female check my stitches but nothing else was ‘intimate’ in my experience and my sweep was carried out at the hospital too so wouldn’t have been the community midwife either xx

[KiboXX in reply to Twiglet2]

My sweep was booked with my community midwife (baby came before the appointment) but it would have been with them so I think this is different depending on where you live x

[Twiglet2 in reply to KiboXX]

Yeahs absolutely and circumstances probably as well, I wasn’t booked for a sweep was just at my hospital consultant appointment to book in induction and they offered the sweep to try and speed it along before induction (so was a doctor rather than midwife that did it) xx

[Emma1910]

Hello, I would 100% go with your gut. If you're not comfortable with males being involved with your care just say no.

You don't have to justify your feelings or wishes to anyone. Being pregnant is intense and emotional and you have every right to have your wishes respected.

Don't worry about offending anyone, you and your baby are the most important people. You know what's right for you so stick to your guns!

Wishing you lots of luck xx

[Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Emma1910]

Thank you very much for your post… I think I’m ok with a male midwife doing bloods and urine .. that sort of thing but a sweep and a stretch.. hmmm no not for me. I will talk to the midwife supervisor I think and see how I get in. T

[Shopper85]

You can contact the office and ask for a female nurse if you feel better however I'm sure they are qualified to offer the same information. When i got to assessment at 40 weeks there were female and male nurses and docs there and I needed a stretch and sweep and female doctor was so rushed she said the male nurse would have to do it and I specifically said no please can you do it so she did and then her pager went off for an emergency after for someone else. So you can at a push ask to change what u feel comfortable with

[Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Shopper85]

Thank you Very much. I don’t doubt the experience and qualifications at all. I just not happy with a male doing intimate examinations and procedures. Sometimes women have no choice but in those circumstances i guess you have to grin and bear it..

[Bozo_the_pumpkin]

wow! the idea makes me cringe! Thanks for the info - I think I am leaning towards asking for a female midwife. I will go to the appointment and then make a final decision