How best to prepare for the 12 week appointment

[Toffeelady123]

Hi, I've recently had my 8 week appointment which was done in two parts due to covid. A quick 15 min appointment at the clinic to take bloods, blood pressure and urine and a 45 min phone call with the community midwife to go through all the health questions. I've not had an introduction to my actual midwife yet, I guess this will be at my 18 week appointment...

I've got my letter for the 12 week appointment (ultrasound department and antenatal clinic) at the hospital and it states it may take 3 hours?! It doesn't really say much else about how to prepare etc...but I'm assuming it will be a scan plus the testing? Is there anything else I should be aware of?

I am feeling nervous and quite anxious about everything being ok so debating booking in for an earlier private scan which my husband will be able to attend with me. Has anyone had experience of this? What are your thoughts? My symptoms have eased a little in recent days (currently 8wk4days) so not sure if this is a worrying sign so early on.

Thanks

[Peanut5]

Hi Toffeelady123, it’s all a bit strange isn’t it? Is this your 1st pregnancy? I’ve only seen midwife once due to covid so my experience is pretty similar to yours. I wasn’t allowed to take anyone into the 12 weeks scan with me and I was very anxious as this is my first. The 12 week scan is the dating scan but check the NHS website as they give you more information on what to expect plus the fact you have to have a full bladder at this appointment to be able to see the baby. It does check for the heartbeat and measures baby to see what actual gestation you are. They also check measurements like nuchal fold. The main anomaly scan is the 20 week scan. I opted to pay for a private scan at 18 weeks so my husband could be with me when we found out the sex of the baby. It’s so hard at the minute with Covid but they have had to find alternative ways of working due to the risk. I went to the 20 week scan alone as well but I felt a bit better about it by then. I avoided the private early scan as I felt I needed the 12 week scan to make it more real and to make sure everything was okay but that’s personal choice. I hope it all goes well for you. Let us know how you get on and congratulations on your pregnancy 🤰

[Toffeelady123 in reply to Peanut5]

Hi, thank you so much for the reply. That's all really helpful.

Yes it is my first and due to going through fertility treatments I just assumed I would have a bit more support/hand holding but having spoken to a lot of people things seems to be pretty quiet/contact free until further on in the pregnancy...throw covid into the mix and I guess it's normal to have very little contact!

They're yet to confirm if my Husband will be able to attend the 12 week scan with me, it will be down to what happens over the next few weeks. If he isn't able to attend I just wonder if a private one shortly before that would best for both of us, whatever the news, I feel I'd need to share that with him.

Hope all is going well for you Take care x

[Peanut5 in reply to Toffeelady123]

Yes contact is very limited now! I feel like we’re left floundering to our own devices, altho every contact I’ve had with the midwives has been very good. Just to reassure you, the sonographer was very understanding and very kind to me as I was on my own. They should also give you the pictures for free if you can’t take anyone. I completely understand especially having had fertility treatment. Altho im a bit surprised, I thought you would have more contact for that very reason. I can highly recommend ‘window to the womb’ I think the earliest they do is 6weeks scan but definitely worth a look. I used them for my private one for my husband and it was just a great experience. All the very best for you too, take care x

[Strawberries_cream in reply to Peanut5]

Hello, your journey so far is identical to mine. I’m 15 weeks pregnant and had my 12 weeks scan (be prepared that you may regress in how far gone you are- I did!). We have booked a private scan to find out the sex and so my partner can attend. We’re doing this at 16 weeks. Then I will potentially be attending my 20 week scan on my own again.

My scan took about 20 minutes and then the longest wait was for the bloods at the hospital. About 45-60 mins all in all.

It’s a very strange experience but we’re all in this together. Congratulations to you both xx

[MissEd]

I can't add much more to peanuts reply but, I met my midwife at my booking appointment (I was about 7 weeks) and I never saw her, or the same one again! Consistency is obviously not key in midwifery care..

Congratulations on your pregnancy x

[Toffeelady123 in reply to MissEd]

Thanks MissEd it's a shame to hear that what we would hope of having the same midwife the whole way through doesn't seem to be the case. I literally have no idea who I would contact at the moment if I had a question or concern.

[JLLWM]

hey, i can second both comments. im 20 weeks today and ive not seen one midwife at all, the person who booked me in over the phone was a student.

people have been saying ‘have i done this/that’ and im like i dont have a clue what they are talking about. i will let you know that my 12 week scan took about 2 hours cause i apparently have a ‘sleepy baby’ who wouldnt get into the right position! it totally freaked me out cause they first said baby wasnt moving. i personally booked a early private scan and a private 16 week scan (due to me being told i couldnt have kids/so boyfriend could come).

i wouldnt worry too much, i think a lot of new mums are freaking out (me included).

hope everything goes well xx

[Toffeelady123 in reply to JLLWM]

Thanks for your reply JLLWM and congratulations on reaching the 20 week mark. I can't believe you've still not seen a midwife. Did you have an appointment at 16-18 weeks with anyone?

Oh my word, what a thing to hear when you went for your first can!! Maybe that's why they say to give it 3hrs just in case they can't capture baby initially. I am feeling nervous and also due to going through fertility treatment (thankfully didn't have to go the whole way to IVF however) I do feel like I need reassurance that everything is ok, as I am sure everyone does! I am debating an early 10-11 week scan just so my husband can be there.

Wishing you all the best with everything x

[JLLWM in reply to Toffeelady123]

ive only spoken to a community midwife on the phone at 16 weeks, which was ‘you alright, cool, ill call again when you are 24 weeks’.

the wait between my private scans and nhs ones have been realllllly long. i would really recommend a private scan, it really put my mind at ease (until the next scan came lol) and its been nice for my boyfriend as we dont know if we can have another.

i really wish the best to you too! i will say its gone by so quickly, you’ll be where i am super quick xxx

[Toffeelady123 in reply to JLLWM]

Wow what a useful call! That was the same for my 8 week phone call, they went through all the questions and that was about it. They've told me that they don't do 16 week appointments, it will be 18 weeks...so another long wait. It's really tough isn't it when you're thinking in months, on Monday it's three weeks until my 12 week scan so finally can think about it in weeks haha.

Glad the scans have been useful for you and especially so both you and your boyfriend can experience it. I'm waiting to find out if my husband can definitely not attend the 12 week scan (things are changing all the time) but if he can't I'm very keen to book a private one - I don't want to go through that without him to be honest.

Wishing you all the best with everything, really pleased you're saying it does go by fast.I think I just need to know everything is ok and I can relax a little Xx

[JLLWM in reply to Toffeelady123]

Just to let you know, turns out where I live they aren’t seeing mums atm. So that’s why I’ve been all over the place/lonely lol.

Seen your other update, they will give you notes at 12 week scan, thats when I got mine :).

20 week scan was a pain as my baby is camera shy 🙄 xx

[Smartsuki]

Congrats toffeelady123, I am extremely surprised actually shocked at the lack of hand holding. This is my first pregnancy too, 7 weeks 3 days in, my first call is in 9 weeks, next dating scan is in 12 weeks. and there is no other conversation for support. Anxiety is peeking seeing this. Isnt there a number we can call to get important tips and guidance. imagine getting an information pack after the first trimester... i wonder if we can get the information pack earlier.

[Strawberries_cream in reply to Smartsuki]

I did see my midwife for my first appointment. Some counties are still offering face to face, think it just depends where you live!

I do understand your worries though. This is my first time and had I not seen a midwife in my first appointment I would be so much more anxious! Xx

[Smartsuki in reply to Strawberries_cream]

Thanks Strawberries_cream .. My first appointment is on the phone and 2nd is the scan for which I need to go in. Since my team is in the very busy St. Marys Hospital I think they are trying to limit our exposure to any covid cases .... im gong to hang in there and will keep you all posted with my experience

[Toffeelady123]

Hi Smartsuki Huge congratulations, I hope you're finding these early weeks ok? I am sorry to hear you've not had much contact either - I completely agree. It's all very strange. Just very grateful for my husband's support but would really appreciate more contact from the professionals.

I've not even received my records/notes which I believe you're meant to get at the start of your pregnancy?! I've bought a day by day pregnancy book off Amazon which is helping as it's providing an update each day on what to expect and how baby is growing, it's putting my mind at ease a little.

[Smartsuki in reply to Toffeelady123]

Thank God for supporting husbands My husband has been insanely supportive and I am super grateful for all the pampering. Please share which book from amazon has been helpful? Look forward to keeping in touch

[Toffeelady123 in reply to Smartsuki]

Definitely The book I bought from Amazon is called 'The Day-by-Day Pregnancy Book: Count Down Your Pregnancy Day by Day with Advice From a Team of Experts Hardcover – 1 Feb. 2018' , not cheap but goes through every day and key stages/advice and tips which has been hugely helpful when there's been little contact with professionals

[Smartsuki]

Super will have a look at the book. Thank you 😊

[Toffeelady123]

Hi all, just a quick update. I've booked a private scan for next week when I'll be 10 weeks as a bit of reassurance for us - I am constantly thinking the worst and so my husband can be with me.

My 12 week scan at the hospital is also booked in for later on in the month.

Midwife was in touch yesterday to book in my 18 week appointment (she said they don't offer 16 week appointments anymore, they're now 18 weeks) and I asked when I'd get my maternity notes and she said these are compiled after the hospital scan and given to you at the 18 week clinic appointment...just in case anyone else is wondering when they'll get theirs, although imagine all places are different!

Now I'm 9 weeks my nausea is easing and I'm able to eat a proper meal in the evening I am having regular mild cramping and a sore lower back but this does move around and ease throughout the day. I am also having to get up to go to the toilet between 3-4 times a night at the moment!! Anyone else had similar symptoms at this stage?

Hope you're all well xx