Hi everyone,
On Friday I had my medical carried out after i’d be informed that baby had died at 6 weeks, i was 12 weeks when we got informed.
I’m posting as I haven’t had a lot of pain, i have had two days of light bleeding and clots pass, but nothing like what I thought i should be having?
Has anyone been in the same boat as myself? Am starting to panic incase the medical hasn’t performed as well as what it should have.
Thank you!
That’s how mine was but found out later that it hadn’t happened as it did two weeks later. They are supposed to call you and follow up. If they haven’t I would ring them tomorrow xx
Hope you don’t mind me asking, but did you start to bleed on the same evening/day that you had your medical or did it start two weeks later? X
I did bleed after the medical but it wasn’t much at all. I expected more. Then two weeks later I had a massive bleed with bad cramps and then felt like I passed something and the pain just suddenly disappeared after that xx
Okay, thank you so much for your help and advice. I’ll give the hospital a call tomorrow. Thanks again xx
I would definitely give them a call. I passed something the night i took the pills but then only had light bleeding. It turned out (much later unfortunately) that most of the tissue hadn't come out. Good luck and I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. Xx
they should be giving you a follow up scan xx
HI Cookie, I have shared this post that I wrote on another forum when it happened to me. I hope it is helpful to you and all the best in your recovery xxx
Subject: Medical Management of a missed miscarriage:
Ladies, you kindly offered support last week when my 7w4d scan showed our 5day donor FET had not developed and I learned about missed miscarriage. I waited 5 days to go to the EPU, with light cramps but nothing of significance. After realising it could take weeks I needed medical advice to be sure of my path. My local unit is at St Georges hospital in London, one of the largest teaching hospitals. Having been lucky enough to have had private medical through my job, I was a bit reticent about going into such a big NHS hospital. However, I'm so glad I did.
The reception team were so gentle and compassionate, as was the doc who confirmed the prognosis with the most gentle internal ultrasound I've had so far (and I'm at a top Harley Street clinic!) She strongly recommended surgical management - St Georges neither believes in medical management nor has the facilities to provide it. They booked me in for the next day and I called my private gyne and spoke to his medical sec. There was no way I was having a student do their first procedure on my precious uterus when I only have one more chance to try an uses it!!!! She reassured me that although the situation was serious and she understood I would consider it a serious surgery that she recommended staying on the NHS and doing it sooner than later - she also said while there are risks they are very low with this kind of procedure...ultimately she gave me the reassurance I needed.
When I booked in the system was slow compared to private (err - to be expected?) but the care, compassion and professionalism was top notch. I told the admitting doctor and the consultant my worries about a student carrying out the op and neither made me feel like a bad person - I know everyone needs to learn and there is a first time, but this is my last time and I was sick with worry that something would go wrong. The very brusque consultant (the only man I saw the entire day) became very gentle when I told him and he said he would give the utmost care - the same as they do for all patients. And I believed him not to be fobbing me off or thinking, let's get her to stop crying...
Little things like being asked if I'd like them to say embryo or baby (embryo) and what to do with the tissues etc took me by surprise = the compassion was amazing. I give a big heartfelt virtual hug to the women who see their loss as a baby, it must be so much harder for you and I am deeply sympathetic. For me, my partner and I both thought and talked of it as an embryo and agreed thats what we would think of it until it was viable and visible - ultimately this has helped us with grief and disappointment.
The wait was tedious, I went in at 10:30 for the afternoon list which starts about 1pm. I saw the lovely and heavily pregnant anaesthesiologist at about 12:30pm, was given some tablets to self insert to soften my cervix about 2ish, went into the theatre about 3:30 and was waking up by 4:30. I was discharged by 6:30, and had very light bleeding and almost no pain. I told them in advance I only needed paracetamol and not codeine and they didn't give me a prescription (I didn't need one and its a waste of NHS money to get one just because...I mean, paracetamol is abut 50p for the easy to swallow capsules and 20p for the ones that get stuck in your throat and make you gag up...I have a delicate and small throat lol)
Overnight no pain but I took some paracetamol in anticipation. Up at my normal time of 5:30....I love that kitten but I wish he would sleep in!
I'm writing this in the hope I can support someone going through the same thing. I found out that missed miscarriages are pretty common although before last week I'd never heard of it. I wish my clinic had given me more information so I could prepare - I was prepared for the embryo not developing but I was ignorant to what would happen next and the way they handled it disappointed me. But my other half said that they only give us info on a need to know basis - he pointed out we were surprised about cyclogest up the bum hahaha! tru that!
If I had it to do again (praying I won't) I will go straight to the EPC and book in for the first appointment. Then I'll have a drink because as my sister wisely said, you can get a headache from wine or crying....pick the one that works best for you. If you don't drink, perhaps cake or something else you've been avoiding for healthy pregnancy reasons. But don't go mad because you will feel horrible - sadly your body is still pregnant.
So here we are, the morning after and I feel a bit of an ache in my heart and an ache in my tummy, but as we have one more try ahead of us when I'm recovered, we have that to focus on. The big tears will come if that doesn't work out.
Oh, and how about this for a ray of hope - the thing about a missed miscarriage is that your body is totally happy to be pregnant, in fact it is bragging and showing off on how capable it is and how strongly it's going to protect that embryo. So hopefully you will have a next time, and that time the chromosomes will all be good and strong and those critical human systems will be built and you will have a bundle of joy 7-9 short months later. xxx Then we'll be moaning about lack of sleep and sore boobs, but with a contented heart.
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