Newbie - Fear of Pregnancy

[nixsta58]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here, was looking for a forum for advice and found this! My husband and I are starting to try for a baby. I know i want to have a baby but i am absolutely terrified of everyone that happens before the baby arrives! The thought of being pregnant, my body changing, all the tests i will need to have and giving birth scares me. I am incredibly squeemish and can't have a blood test without having to lay down after. Even starting to try frightens me as it's the first step to it happening.

Any advice anyone can give me would be great. I'm sure this is a common fear!

Thank you

[Hidden]

I was like you. I’ve always known I wanted children but knew I was scared of even simple things like needles and always fainted when having a blood test. I ended up having IVF so just had to suck up a lot of those fears as had a lot of blood tests and internal ultrasounds but actually it’s not as bad as you think. Of course labour is painful but as soon as I had my little girl I knew I would do anything to have another. During pregnancy you don’t have an awful lot of blood tests unless something is wrong.

Honestly the outcome of having a baby far outweighs the lead up to it xx

[nixsta58 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much xx

[CC2018]

Firstly, welcome! I'm originally from the fertility network as it ended up taking me and my hubby nearly 3 years to get pregnant after deciding to start a family and in the end we had to have ivf as we had unexplained infertility- apparently we work fine but it just wasn't happening and no one knew why. In that time I had lots of tests and investigative operations and pretty much lost all dignity so none of that frightens me anymore! I am now pregnant thankfully and we are expecting her March. For me I felt like you when we first started to try, excited to try but also scared of the thought of giving birth more than anything especially as my mum loved going into detail about how traumatic the birth of my older sister was- I apparently was a dream birth so that's given me some hope Anyway, as time went on the frustration and upset of if not getting pregnant overrode my fear. I no longer cared about giving birth as long as I got pregnant and could have our baby. During this time I became very down and isolated and I needed to make getting pregnant a more positive experience and improve my outlook as i'd virtually given up it would happen. I started going to acupuncture which really helped calm my mind and made me feel more positive about starting off and believe it would work. I also downloaded a mindfulness app which helped me focus on myself and take away my fear along with some hypnotherapy cds including one for hypnobirthing which has really helped take away the fear of birth. For me as it took so long I think the joy and excitement of actually getting pregnant has overridden my fears as I was honestly at the point where I'd take all the pain in the world if it meant I could have a baby. Remember, giving birth is the most natural thing in the world and we were built to be able to do it- it's just the way it's been portrayed to us today makes it look scary. I was even freaked out by the thought of the baby moving round inside me but now everytime she kicks I feel a wave of love. Good luck and I hope you get your positive test sooner than we did. It'll all be worth it when they're here! X

[nixsta58 in reply to CC2018]

Thanks for the welcome! It is true, it’s all portrayed to be scary. Thanks for the luck 😊 x

[ReBeCcA-90]

I was exactly the same!

I fell pregnant January 2016 although we were trying (had been for 5 years) I wasn’t expecting it, before this I had never had even a blood test and except school jabs never had a injection this was my biggest fear, but it was surprising how much I wanted to do it for the baby, I as adamant I was going to refuse all tests, however I changed my mind once I was pregnant as I wanted the best for baby, sadly that pregnant ended with a missed miscarriage, And although that was the worst thing I had ever dealt with (I ended up having a Erpc op), having to do all that with injections and cannula etc it made me so much stronger.

I fell pregnant again (I have a healthy happy 19 months old girl), and having been through the past miscarriage I was even more paranoid something would go wrong, and worried about all the tests. But every single midwife/nurse I saw was fantastic and reassuring.

You are right this is a common fear, which is why midwifes and family members are supportive as every single mother has worried about the things you are.

The birth wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be and about 2 weeks later once stitches were gone I had genuinely forgotten about!

Birth is so natural and midwifes and practices are so good now!

pregnancy for me was hit and miss as I have a huge phobia of being sick, well let’s just say it was a long 12 first weeks! But after those I loved being pregnant, and bodies change back, ok honestly not to what it exactly was but I have a huge group of mum friends now and someone them you would never know they had babies they look really good!

Pregnancy and labour don’t last for ever, and you get a beautiful baby forever in the end, best of luck!

[Hidden]

I sometimes feel abit like that I had a fear of needles well not anymore was stabbed 4 times the other day and have had so many bloods taken lately. Ive had 2 miscarriages and currently still pregnant but its not viable again and need it removed by MVA which is like a d&c but your awake! not sometime im looking forward too! Ive got 2 kids I still dont like the thought of giving birth again its painful and unpleasant. But sometimes facing your fears do make you stronger and realise actually its not too bad.