Pregnancy anxiety

[Sarah_a_2018]

Hi, I'm 25+3 weeks pregnant, this is my first pregnancy from IVF, we had 2 cycles and got a BFP from our third embryo transfer.

I've been anxious from day 1 which I expect is normal as it's my first pregnancy and with everything we've been through with IVF and now we're stuck in the middle of a global pandemic! I'm so grateful that were pregnant and every day that passes is one day closer to meeting our baby but I can't shake the fear that something has or will go wrong?! Has anyone else experienced/experiencing this? My pregnancy has been pretty normal so far, baby is measuring on track and has done at every scan, I haven't felt much movement yet but I have an anterior placenta and every scan I've had baby has been active I've just not been able to feel it but am starting to feel more movements now

I've found it really difficult to enjoy this pregnancy and even before the lockdown I just didn't feel supported, I'm not that comfortable with my midwife, she's lovely but this is the third midwife I've had so far and every time I've explained how anxious I am and they don't seem to do anything to help, even though I was promised I'd have the same midwife and could have more regular checkups but I haven't seen anyone since 22 weeks and my next appointment is at 28 weeks, we've been going for private scans to give me some reassurance that baby is ok and developing normally but I'd go every week if I could 🙈

[SJA14]

Hi Sarah, I feel like i could have written your post myself!

I’m 25 weeks and am pregnant from our 6th round of IVF. I know exactly what you mean after everything we’ve been through to get to this point it’s happening in the middle of a global pandemic!! I feel sad that I’m not able to join antenatal classes f2f (sorry but online just isn’t the same!) and the gap between medical appointments for reassurance feels so long. My last check up with the midwife was at 22 weeks and that was over the phone so didn’t get to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Same as you I’m not feeling much movement so that would have been really comforting, and nothing now until 28 weeks...

I don’t think that the care from the midwife has been very good tbh - I’m on the 2nd one and they only discovered at my 22 week phone checkup that I wasn’t on aspirin that I should have started at 12 weeks due to a miscommunication between them!

However I’m really trying to stay positive and be thankful that I’m in this position (so lucky I got my BFP before the clinics closed). I’ve been trying to keep busy with hobbies etc to try to avoid thinking too much as well.

Not much I can say to make you feel better as I know we all just worry anyway! 🙈🙈🙈 But thought it might help to know you’re not alone in feeling like this xx

[Cook7786 in reply to SJA14]

And I too could have written your post! I’m on my fourth midwife at 29 weeks!

One of my midwives suggested aspirin and then another midwife was confused when I asked if I should be taking it.

Can I ask why they have suggested you take this. We have a lovely lil IVF baby due

X

[SJA14 in reply to Cook7786]

Hi, I was told that they recommend some people take aspirin as a preventative for preeclampsia. It depends on your risk factors whether they recommend it. I have been prescribed it as I’m over 40. Been taking it for 2 weeks now and all seems ok x

[Cook7786 in reply to SJA14]

Ah that makes sense!! Thank you x

[KiboXX]

Same as SJA14 said, I feel like I could have written this post! 4 cycles and 4th transfer for me. I’m 20+1 and the only apps I’ve had so far is my initial midwife one at 8 weeks and my 12 week scan. My 16 week was completely cancelled and I’ve really struggled without having that reassurance but managed to have a private scan at 17 weeks which helped but now I’m so nervous about my 20 week scan on Monday as I’ll be on my own. I’ve had quite a few private scans so completely get that feeling! I would go every week as well if I could.

I also have an anterior placenta and I’ve felt nothing so far which isn’t helping but was hoping that might come soon for a little bit of reassurance 😭

I do feel incredibly grateful to have managed to get my treatment in before this all happened but I think it’s ok to be disappointed that you’re not getting the full pregnancy experience xx

[Itsalongjourney26]

Hi Sarah, all the ladies posting as like me are from Fertility Network and I feel similar to you - I have never had the same midwife and have no idea who my actual midwife is!! 🙈🙈 also have an anterior placenta so feeling movement consistently has only really started in the last few weeks for me.

I’m also 25+3 - I remember seeing your posts on the other forum the day before we got our BFP. We probably even have the same due date! 😆

The anxiety I do feel is heightened by Covid-19 so I’m finding it hard to know which is natural Covid worries or pregnancy/ICSI worries. Such a bizarre time to be pregnant!

Just wanted to message to say you’re not on your own. ❤️ X

[Solly-44]

Same same same here!

It’s lovely to see so many names from the fertility board here, even if it is talking about pretty stressful circumstances 💛

I think it’s safe to say that anyone who’s had IVF has dreamed of what pregnancy would be like, and it did not look like this 🙈 my anxiety has certainly been through the roof.

I had a midwife telephone appointment yesterday and they actually rang to cancel it, saying they’re going back to face to face appts and booking me in for next week. They have also just resumed the home birth service at my hospital after previously cancelling it due to Covid/staff and ambulance shortages. I feel like these are steps in the right direction, and am hoping that we all get to experience a bit of normality before our pregnancies are over xx

[Hidden]

Yeah, being pregnant from fertility treatment is can be really worrying. The issue is that if anything goes wrong, we can't used have sex with someone and get pregnant again like people with no fertility issues. I was constantly worried and plus hormones and you talking like feeling like your walking on a tight rope. I watched health talk which is a series that gives perspectives about infertility amongst other health issues. There was lots of people who couldn't believe they had managed to get pregnant and felt like they weren't enough lucky for it to be successful. One woman was constantly checking her babies heart beat. Getting pregnant through fertility treatment although we go through the same symptoms etc. It's seems like a different type of pregnancy. There's no easy answer to this. I told a few midwives about this and they weren't sympathic. If you tell so called healthcare professionals and if they understanding then great. All I can say it does get slightly easier with time. I will say now I have had my baby I am relieved my pregnancy is over and I can enjoy my baby and run around looking after him.

[Sarah_a_2018]

Thanks everyone for your replies, it's been a great comfort knowing I'm not alone in feeling like this.

COVID aside this hasn't been an easy pregnancy at all. When you're going through fertility treatment you're so focused on getting that BFP and having had 2 unsuccessful transfers and the usual monthly disappointments that came with nearly 6 years of trying to conceive, when we finally did get pregnant, it was actually a shock and I didn't know what to do or who to turn to! Nobody prepares you for what happens when you do get your BFP, the fertility clinic discharge you as soon as a viable pregnancy is confirmed and then your midwife/doctor just leaves you to grow a baby like this is any normal pregnancy but nobody really understands that anyone going through pregnancy after IVF or any sort of fertility challenges this isn't a normal situation and there needs to be better support available, and there just isn't. These forums have been great and even social media has been a lifeline for me in trying to enjoy this pregnancy and prepare for what's ahead and it's just been totally overwhelming at times 🙈 I was so looking forward to baby shopping and buying all the baby things but covid-19 has put that on hold and I've been so reluctant to buy anything online because it's just not the same as being in shops and I'm anxious of having baby things in the house should anything happen 🙈

I'm seeing a consultant and have another scan at 28 weeks, we have a private scan next week and that's given me the reassurance I need that I'm just not getting from the NHS, but I'll be making it clear to the consultant what exactly I need from then until the end of my pregnancy and birth because right now I don't trust my antenatal support to ensure I have a safe delivery of my baby and that needs to change. I don't want to be that pushy difficult patient but I've been through too much and this is too important for me to accept any less than adequate care, I appreciate they're busy and have a lot of patients to see but when I'm being seen I should matter, I want to be seen as a woman who is pregnant for the first time and is extremely anxious, not just another pregnant women, another case number to deal with. Xx

[Franco81]

Ahh Sarah I know exactly what you mean and how you’re feeling.

I too got my BFP on my third full ICSI cycle and to be honest the years dealing with infertility and the monthly disappointments left me quite broken emotionally. All I’d longed for was to see those two lines on a stick so when that finally happened I had no idea how to face what came next!!

Me and my husband basically just focussed on each next scan and I feel like I held my breath til I got there! I now have healthy three month old twins!

I would say though it definitely got easier for me and I was determined to enjoy what I’d waited so long for. I took a day at a time and allowed myself to celebrate getting a day further on with nothing going wrong! I was very lucky that my pregnancy was uncomplicated (although like you I had both placentas at the front so felt movements very late and even then just gently) and each scan offered reassurance.

I can imagine the added anxiety of how Covid is affecting the support for you and your pregnancy but I would just say try and take a day at a time and why shouldn’t it be your turn for that happy ending!

Good luck and I really hope you are able to enjoy your pregnancy, it’s really happening! Xxx

[Hidden]

I felt exactly the same. I had a little girl two years ago after two IVF’s and one miscarriage. I didn’t enjoy my pregnancy as was convinced it would go wrong. Also the midwife didn’t give two hoots and I was treated like normal. Was so relived when she was born but never felt so anxious during pregnancy x

[HollyT7]

hey I was the same! just had our little boy last week and it wasn't until he was out and in my arms that I finally felt relief that we had finally done it. I felt guilty for not enjoying it and the aniexty was terrible at times, but I did find that it got easier closer to the end, then I would worry we were so close it was too good to be true... but here I am currently feeding my 9 day old baby... 💙 And you will be too xx

[Cook7786]

Running theme here - IVF baby, I’m currently 29 weeks - I’ve seen four midwives - one forgot to put me in the system so I was waiting an age for my 12 weeks scan date. One put the wrong DOB on my blood tests so had to go in again to redo them. And two of them keep referring to my partner as a father when I am in a same sex relationship. READ MY NOTES!!!!

I get all my important info from my pregnant friends who are a few weeks ahead. Terrible that!

I have faith in the delivery though - they are a separate section and I think the midwives in the ‘office’ are probably there for a reason (perhaps incompetence)

Everything will be okay with us warriors as Mothers. 😘

Good Luck everyone - we’ve come this far...........

[Sarah_a_2018]

Thanks everyone, it's been such a comfort knowing that I'm not alone and there are women that are and have been in my situation. Just going to take it one day at a time, we have a private scan next Friday so looking forward to that, and I got a baby journal that has a pregnancy section to fill in our details, put in scan photos and I'm going to use it to write the good things that have happened and are happening in this pregnancy 😁 xxx

[olira2203]

Hi Sarah, I’m with you on this. I only met a midwife once and then had a telephone appointment. I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant, but nobody even told me what is an anterior placenta and what it means. I had to read notes from my scan at 19 weeks, which said that I had the anterior placenta. My GP is refusing to see me for 25 weeks due to COVID-19.

It’s my first pregnancy, but I don’t know how baby’s movements suppose to feel like. So I had some bubbles/bubbles popping sort of feeling here and there, but I still didn’t properly feel any kicks or sort of proper movements. It’s very worrying constantly at night try to figure out if your baby is moving or not.

I might try to insist on 25 weeks GP appointment; so far they are refusing it. I’m just hoping that next week I might feel more distinctive movements, so would help me to calm down a bit.

I’m wondering how are you doing private scans as it seems that everything is closed at least near where I live in London. I would love just go and do a private scan rather than dealing with these midwives and GPs. FYI my 2nd midwife appointment was by phone and an absolute waste of time; and next one is only at 28 weeks.

[Lesmec in reply to olira2203]

I had a private scan at window to the womb and ultrasound direct in London and both are now open again. Worth checking as definitely made me feel better as was worried sick.

[Solly-44 in reply to olira2203]

Hi Olira,

For scans I know window to to the womb are still open - they have a few practices in London. I’ve used one in Walthamstow but think they have another somewhere in West and South x

[KiboXX in reply to olira2203]

Olira2203 it’s worth checking with your maternity hospital if you have fetal movement concerns. You’ll probably have more luck there than your gp! Check your folder you got from your midwife, mine has a specialist clinic for those questions xx

[Lesmec]

I feel exactly the same. Third round of IVF successful and now 19 weeks. Not had much midwife support and it's run as a team so will always be different ones which isn't great.

I also had a private scan in the end as was worried and that did make things 100 times better.

Also agree the various forums and online info has had to answer lots of questions for me which isn't great but ok. I also brought a book by midwife Marie Laurie, pregnancy birth and beyond. That's helped too as useful information and written in a non judgemental way. Good luck.