Hurling abuse

[Mummabear91]

Need advice. Firstly we have a 13 week old son. I have a partner who gets angry very very easily if we get in an argument or if he disagrees with what I say there’s no communication to work it out it’s like a bull at a gate he’s yells, he name calls(calls me a c**t of a thing) threatens to take full custody of our baby (saying he wouldn’t be abusive around Baby if I wasn’t around) and yesterday I was on the coach feeding my baby in the midst of an argument with my partner he got up in my face and was yelling at me and smashed his fist against the couch which sent the things flying that were on the arm of the chair. I was scared to say the least and my little man was right in the middle of it. I really don’t know what to do. I stick around cos i don’t want his to have full custody(he doesn’t even help me with our son) but will my son hate me if I leave?! Will he hate me if I stay?! So stuck and in tears as I write this.. I have a maternal child health nurse that knows what he’s like but I really don’t know if I want to take it further cos it will get so messy with a baby

[Sisi14]

Hi babe , I had a partner that was abusive to me verbally and then physically pushing me around and trying to strangle me and also broke my baby’s cot mobilion one occasion luckily she wasn’t in the cot at the time , I couldn’t put up with it anymore and it wasn’t fair on my little girl and I had to put her first and that was to leave him ! So I did and she was 5 months old and. He didn’t bother with her til she was 2 years old seen her twice and didn’t again!

Your child won’t hate you but you shouldn’t have your child brought up around that either as your child will sense the tension and stress in you and the house and it’s unfair! I would say go and speak to your gp or health visitor and report it also tell him to get help with his anger management! If he loves you or his child he will go if not then he don’t care babe it’s ashame for you or your baby to live like this but he won’t get full custody of your son babe ! My ex thought that but nope I’ve got her and she’s 15 years old now ! Don’t keep it to yourself babe there’s help there, after my ordeal I became a support worker for women & children in domestic violence. Keep strong xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Sisi14]

Second sisi if he's doing this now and nothing changes he'll continue get out now. Your child won't hate you. When their older just be honest. You can't bring your child up in environment like that it's not safe for either of you. Him saying he'll get custordy is a big threat he won't stand a chance. Be prepared to reach out to professionals and family support and move on for both u and your child's sake. Wish you all the best 😘💝

[Hidden]

Leave tell your social worker/health visitor he’s abusive towards you and your scared to leave as he wants your son so you have it on record he’ll not get custody he’d have to prove he’s not and take u to court that’ll take money time and effort.

[MartaASGarcia]

Hi Chloeee,

I'm really sorry to read that you are going through that.

You should report the situation and honestly leave with your little one.

I was raised in a home where my father was abusive and my mother never had the courage to leave. I can guarantee you that your baby won't hate but from my experience if you stay he can resent you in the future.

Living in fear is not good for you or the baby. No one deserves that!

It might seem hard to make that decision but I believe you'll both be better of without him.

I hope you can find your way and all the help you need! xx

[Bluelady-sing]

Leave this man

[Bluelady-sing]

He does not deserve you or the baby

[Tgum]

Speak to your health visitor or get in touch with a domestic abuse charity. If you have it on record that he is abusive then there is no way he will get custody of your son. The most important thing is that you leave him. It's not a healthy relationship and you have to think of your son. He needs to grow up in a non-hostile, calm and happy home. May you have the strength to do the right thing and leave. You are worth so much more.

[Jazzy313]

Get out of the relationship as fast as you can! If you don't leave your child will grow up as a troubled child with a lot of lifelong mental issues! For the sake of your child please leave‼️ If you have to stay with family or friends or a shelter! There are plenty of good men out there that will treat you and your child love and respect‼️ Best wishes beautiful ❤️

[Georgina_D]

Why does he think he will get custody? As a mother YOU are the baby's main carer so you would normally get custody. If he's abusive you need to leave I think and please keep your baby with you, don't leave your baby with an abusive man.

He is an abusive person. You are NOT making him abusive. His behaviour is his choice, not yours. Please seek help for the sake of your baby x

[Mummabear91]

Thank you everyone for your support it’s something you really need when you May’s well be a single mother. He reckons he will get custody cos I’m apparently a cunt to Brandon my parent so I don’t deserve my child. Mind you in the one giving him full time care bottles, bum changes, we have hospital visits once a week and eye specialists once a week. He would be lost without me but he thinks I’m the worst person ever when his the problem not me

[Mumof3xx]

Hi Chloe I have been in your situation and believe me he won't get custody of your child.

You can get help to get out of that situation if you ask for it like I did. You need to think as the child grows up they will think this situation is normal and can also begin to act aggressively towards you (my son did and is still in counselling 4year later)

My sons dad was given supervised visitation and because I wasn't the one supervising and he couldn't see me he chose not to bother with our son.

The thing I would like you to consider is things don't get better in these abusive relationships they tend to get worse and if he's lashing out at furnite its usually only a matter of time before it becomes you that's the punch bag.

I used to tell my friends if I ever went missing its because he killed me.

You can do so much better on your own you just need to be strong enough to break away and put yours and your child's safety first.

Please talk to a friend or family member you trust and ask them to support you and go to meetings with social services or a family support worker so you can be free and safe away from him and keep it between the 2 of you so he doesn't find out.

Good luck ❤️xx