Me "How's the diet going?"
Maria "I had eggs for breakfast."
Me "Scrambled?"
Maria "No, Cadbury's." 😁
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Just trying to gauge Mandy's opinion on how much to spend on a bottle of wine ? She replied "Is 15 minutes too much ?"
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Teacher Marnie.
What do you call Santa’s brothers and sisters? Relative clauses.
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Punctuation is important.
A man went into a fish shop and said, “Can I have a tail end, please?”
So the man behind the counter said, ‘And they all lived happily ever after.’
Whoever put the “b” in SUBTLE deserves a pat on the back.
The past, the present and the future all walked into a bar. It was tense.
Double negatives are a big NO-NO.
Teacher: “Name two pronouns?”
Student: “Who, me?”
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
5 vowels, 8 consonants, a comma, and an exclamation mark appeared in court today. They’re due to be sentenced some time next month.
What do you say to comfort a Grammar teacher? There Their They’re.
Never date an apostrophe. They’re too possessive.
“Can I go to the toilet?”
“I don’t know, can you?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You just have.”
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Why do you never put a dermatologist in charge?
They make rash decisions.
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.Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Every time I have a pessimistic thought I put a pound in it.
It's half empty.
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom! (Yes a bum joke!).
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Hope you and yours are too esp Frank (the handsome one 😍!) 😘😘 xx
Some Simple Funnies, some I've Told Before