Pondering thoughts of aloneness durin... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Pondering thoughts of aloneness during this pandemic.

secrets22 profile image

People think being alone makes you lonely,but i dont think thats entirely true,but its being surrounded by the wrong people that is the loneliest thing in the world.

Sometimes i think life is a difficult journey and a battle for those of us that are sensitive souls and a misword can often be construed as an attack on ourselves and then it becomes feelings way out of control.

Yesterday a neighbour said something very upsetting to me with her snide rude remarks and i felt defeated and worn,and i ended up not sleeping all night,but usually i can brush things off and forget about it in normal times,but its not normal times, ,insults and hurtful words take on a form of its own and can leave us perplexed and sad.

13 Replies

Yes I agree. I am normally an extremely strong person who somehow battles through everything and is also able to support others. I was fine the rest lockdown as the weather was mostly good and I could get out in nature and also walk our rescue dog without having to muffle up as though I was going to the artic.

This time I feel I ha e really struggled with my pain, the weather has been awful which hasnt helped.I am usually extremely supportive of my husband who has health problems. I feel I am having to bite my tongue all the time not to be sarcastic. I feel worn out having to do more and feel really alone with it.

I have noticed the change in my two close friends as well. One who is normally upbeat is so low it is worrying. She said the other day that she could fall out with herself in an empty room. Probably your neighbour is at thr end of their tether with all this but I always feel things once said things stick in our minds even if they are grossly unfair. Take care.

in reply to rosewine

Yes, it’s really affected us too, the first lockdown was kind of exciting wasn’t it, but now it’s gone on so long it’s getting everyone down, I’ve not been outside for a month, I used to go shopping once a week but now it’s only one shopper allowed at a time so I don’t go there even, then the weather here has been atrocious, and I’ve had a really bad fibro flare up , so all in all I’m not a happy bunny lol We were told yesterday another three weeks at least of lockdown here In Wales, so we’ll have to try and hang on, we’ve gone his far at least we’ve got the spring /summer to look forward to 👍😊

I so understand what you are saying, I’m in the same position, I’ve always been the one that everyone comes to if there’s something wrong, but since all this has happened only two of a very large extended have picked the phone up and asked if we needed anything, it has hurt me very much because one niece in particular who has always been very close to me just hasn’t been there, not even over Xmas , and I can’t understand why which makes it worse, I expect when they need something in the future they will remember our phone number, and have some excuse for their behaviour, but I’ve made myself a promise that I’m not going to be so ‘soft’ as we say here in Wales in the future, take care

I am both alone and lonely, (in the sense of not being close to anyone,) but it has nothing to do with the pandemic. I know it's down to me, not other people. It's because I am unable to trust anyone. I know the cause of that and I am trying to work on it with my psychologist. 🤔🌸

I’m so sorry, it must be awful for you when your own children behave like that, I feel awful about my nieces behaviour it must be so much worse for you, I hope you will be able to sort things out , take care 😘

I hope they will come to realise that you only have one Mother, mine died in 2004 and I miss her every single day and wish she was here with us now, they are lucky to have you, hopefully they will come to see that 😘

Thank you. It's good that you have your husband. I would like to be able to be close to someone.

You are 100% truthful. My family doesn't even know I suffer from depression bcz they don't know it. I usually define alone as being the only one in the place but lonely as being with millions but can't relate. That is my story, I'm surrounded by millions but I can't relate. It is very hard when that happens. Hearing ur story saddens me bcz u couldn't sleep thinking about their remarks which usually takes hours and hours to get out. Luckily you have trained ursf to just brush it off.

Its true when the people that surround us tend to put others down, its not a good situation to be in, being in lockdown does make things more difficult all round. Living with negativity is not good for our health or theirs. But at least we can be our own counsel and counsel ourselves.

Just remember, you don't have to believe any of those unkind words said to you, the person that said them has deep problems of their own, it is their own issue that they probably don't even know they should be dealing with but instead they show hatefulness to others not wanting to take responsibility for their own unhappiness. Its not really anything to do with you at all.

We do not have any control over what other people, think, say or do, we can only be responsible for what we may think say or do.

Their issue is not our own -- even though words can hurt, we don't have to take it personally, perhaps just think to yourself or express it in words. I hope they will soon feel better (on all levels of awareness and consciousness).

Words can hurt, but just because such words are expressed, that doesn't make them true or valid.

I am wishing you a feeling better day and know within yourself those unkind words are not your problem. Just avoid contact with this person, be within your own calm safe environment.

Wishing you a calm and happy weekend.

BK

We are so lucky to have such wonderful memories😘

How very right you are. Xxx

I think a lot of people are struggling more in this lockdown. I can be sensitive to what others think and yet we are good people who ought to believe in ourselves more.

Karen xx

I think we're all emotionally charged at the moment secrets22. I know that I am and can cry at the sight of a hankie without much encouragement. Sometimes I even prod myself into it by watching a sad kitten story or two on YouTube, because the release of tears can be oh so beneficial.Sorry you've been wounded by your neighbour's harsh words. They can return and return, as you feel betrayed and I agree that when something like this happens, you begin to wish you'd just stayed on your own and not had to hear them.

Try and put those harsh words down, if you can. It takes some effort, but when you find yourself thinking about them yet again, deliberately say to yourself, something like "I'm choosing to put this down now", and then distract yourself with something else.

And try to think of the person who spoke them as 'unskillful', because that's what harsh words amount to. Not stopping to consider who you are deeply wounding by rushing in and blurting out the first thought that comes into your head. We are nearly all capable of doing it too, but it's so unpleasant when you are on the receiving end. I do hope that you had a better night's sleep last night and that those feelings are dissipating now! 👍🌈

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