Not meaning to brag but i've been avo... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

9,724 members9,899 posts

Not meaning to brag but i've been avoiding people long before this pandemic.

secrets22 profile image
38 Replies

All i hear from some people is doom and gloom ,and me me me,what is wrong with people,i can tell you, a few people i talk to leave me consumed with depression and fed-up-ness,instead of lightening up and making the best of the situation,and the longer this goes on the more i'm getting used to being alone.and i cope very well,just me and my 4 legged friends.

Unfortunately some people have the ability to drag you down into a pit with no escape,hence my choosing to avoid some folk.

38 Replies

I agree and I like living alone it's too stressfull been cooped up 24 7 with one person I am moving home on my own after Xmas so good for you I avoid people that cause me stress and bring my mood down I like peace and quiet 🌟😊xxx

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to

i am getting used to living alone,and overall i cope very well.

I tend to agree with you, I sometimes wonder how Britain ever got through two world wars, what’s happened to our stiff upper lip😊 We can do this 👍

Lovely garden

Narwhal10 profile image
Narwhal10 in reply to

👏 👏 😊

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to

Thank you,my garden means a lot to me,

Lovely garden by the way 😁

Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits

I shield for a good seven months of the year since my cancer diagnosis as any infection could be potentially serious. I'm alone apart from pets. I have been appalled but not surprised by the sheer selfishness and lack of thought displayed by certain sections of the population. I actually saw a woman interviewed who stated it was her human right to holiday abroad without any quarantine period regardless of any possible health risk! Unbelievable.

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to Ghounds

i agree,i cannot understand the selfishness of some people. But i hope all goes well with you healthwise,it is a very troubling time. But so glad you have pets,they help us through.

Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits in reply to secrets22

Thank you. I would be lost without my furry companions. I also like gardening when weather and health permit.

springcross profile image

Agreed secrets. Lovely garden - I would imagine you have a great variety of birds there. x

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to springcross

We do have a variety of birds in residence and i especially love the Robin who always follows me around.

springcross profile image
springcross in reply to secrets22

Yes, they are special little birds I think. x

Zest profile image

Hi secrets22

Your garden is gorgeous.

Zest :-)

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to Zest

Thank you so much.

sashaming1 profile image

Me too.

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to sashaming1

thank you.

Sprinkle1 profile image

Thank you for the lovely photograph it sends me peace. I also live by myself, have for 28 years, quite happy after 3 lousy husbands!!! I moved from Calif. to S.C. had a home built to my design, something simple not horribly expensive, in a 55 & older community, it is gated and has a 6 ft chain link all around it. I had some horrible neighbors, thank goodness one just recently moved - Yeah! Now the other one is moving.!!! I went and introduces myself to the new neighbors and they are very nice and have a cat, a good sign to me as I have 2 cats. Hope I get someone else nice on the other side of me - time will tell. I am in a lovely setting, there is a small lake in the back, so I see birds, squirrels, used to be foxes, but all the building has frightened them off sad to say, as I used to feed them and we were friends, now I am down to Raccoons and possums, which I also feed, put out bird seed and corn for the squirrels across the road in front, it is a wetlandsso No building there, I have seen an occasional deer. I do not let people get to me, learnt a lot thru therapy, a wonderful book I read by Dr. Scott Peck, "The Road Less Traveled", first line 1st page he says "Life is Difficult", I said why was I not told that at age 16? Further down the page he talks about Buddha, who said "Life is suffering, until we transcend it", once we do the hurting ends. I said I want to transcend, I spent years on my journey, and finally made it, I worry about nothing, let No One bother me, I am happy when I get up and when I go to bed.

Yes I miss decent people, I used to do volunteer work at the library, but that ended, due to the virus, they were a lovely bunch of ladies. I keep very busy, because I want to, not to hide from anything, in fact I wish I were not so busy??? I still do volunteer work, knit hats and scarves for the underprivileged children. Did work in our last election, and still am as we need to get Georgia sorted out....!!!*** I don't watch the news or read the paper, get the headlines on my computer which I can skim past. As far as I am concerned I have a wonderful life. It is nice here today, got up to 70 on my deck, so I went out, cleaned out pots, then planted, Daffs, crocus and another flower. I plan on getting winter veg to plant. Hope my email is not too long, when I first came to this forum I was in a bad way, I got a lot of help and support. Now I am well again, I hope to help people and put a little light in their lives. That is what you are doing, thank You.

Sending peace, love and safety.......

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to Sprinkle1

Your setting sounds idylic ,and most importantly you are happy.

Sprinkle1 profile image
Sprinkle1 in reply to secrets22

Thank you, I feel most grateful for what I have managed to do in my life, I came to America by myself at the age of 22, quiet and shy with no money. I have had an interesting life, and plan to keep it that way, especially once we get rid of the virus. I wish you well in your endeavors, sending peace, love and big hugs...

Sops profile image

Lovely garden, I think you can gain peace in a garden. As i get older I find that living alone is a solace, Whilst the pandemic has taken my liberty for almost a year, I have gained insight, self awareness and who and what is important to me .I was to have seen my son on Christmas Day on my drive but as he lives in Cardiff and I am in Oxfordshire I now do not see this being possible. His safety is more important to me so I will just carry on as normal and know that I am loved albeit from afar!


secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to Sops

A very positive comment,and you will see your son in good time,x

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to secrets22

Yes I will, thank you.Sopsx

Sheila_G profile image

I agree. We are where we are and we have to deal with it. I love your garden.

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to Sheila_G

Thank you.x

Cavapoochonowner profile image

Hi, I really liked your post.There are 5 of us at home.Me, hubby and 3 grown up children.We have had to shield for most of this year because of one of my sons previous illness.We have all just got on with it.Managed to get online shopping because he was on government list.Haven't been to shops since April.Haven't really missed it.I know we are lucky not being alone and we have a 3 bed house and garden so know ee are very fortunate.I don't suffer depression but have occasionally got fed up.We've had our arguments but have enough space to be on our own if we want.There is no threat of domestic abuse in our home and I know that home is not a safe place for many people.I think that is what gets me through every day.We are working together for a common good and the alternative for my family and other vulnerable people doesn't bear thinking about.My gran used to say"count your blessings,count them one by one" and I have always been a positive person because of this.How can I moan when I have so much?

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to Cavapoochonowner

You are indeed fortunate ,and with 5 of you,truly blessed.

Hi secrets22. I always think of Max Ehrmann's advice in the Desiderata when it comes to negative people; the bit about avoiding people who are 'vexatious to the spirit'. I think he mentions that in connection with loud people, but the vain, selfish and perpetually negative might well come into that category too. I belong to the generation of people who were far less vain and far less selfish and because that's my norm I find that I come across only a very few people who are selfishly negative. So perhaps it is best to stay away from those contacts you have who make you feel depressed. It's hard to do when you are feeling down yourself, but sometimes when I come across this sort of person and have to have contact, I treat it as a sort of challenge and speak only in terms of great cheerfulness and optimism, because negative people are really only looking for an agreement that everything is awful. The 'misery loves company' thing! They soon wander off looking for another pessimist when you bombard them with cheerfulness (even if cheerfulness is the last thing you have on your radar!)

Is that a picture of your own garden secrets? It's absolutely heavenly anyway, and I'd be very content to hang out on my own there!

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to

Yes this is part of my garden ,of which i am proud of,its hard work but it does have its rewards.x

secrets22 profile image

Thank you,i so love my garden.

katieoxo60 profile image

Your garden looks lovely , I agree with you I feel like the only news I get is gloomy , every day there are problems to deal with when on your own, but generally we get through but maybe not unscathed. I put my Christmas tree up yesterday the children over the road like it they can see it from their bedroom window. Now the vaccine is here maybe some of us can return to normal after Christmas. Stay safe ,well and enjoying your garden.

daddyt profile image

Such a beautiful and peaceful space. This and four-legged friends. It would be satisfaction enough for me.

MaggieSylvie profile image

They probably think they're not normal if they don't complain, and moaning satisfies a part of them. What a beautiful garden you have.

Carlt profile image

My OH says I've been preparing for social isolation for over 50 years.

I'm actually looking forward to not doing the annual cross-country trek to visit all the relatives (who, strangely, have never offered to do the journey) and just spending a quiet Xmas with my OH and sons is a welcome prospect.

Big_Dee profile image

Hello secrets22

Was not sure if you were bragging or complaining, but the "pit" in your picture looks really inviting. :)

GERALDDAVID profile image

That is a beautiful garden! Never saw anything quite like it here in the states. Getting old, will have to start gardening again, I have lots of hedges around my house. I live alone but might start getting help from the home health care people. I used to work in that field.

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to GERALDDAVID

thank you so much...gardening is hard work but it is rewarding,even just a bit at a time is worthwhile.

Sprinkle1 profile image

Hello, you have had a lot of good and cheerful responses, you deserve it. Yesterday was nice and warm here 70 deg!!! I went out to sweep the leaves off my deck, then got infused to do some more work, I cleaned out pots, put in fresh soil and planted 10 daffs, 15 crocus, and some other little bulbs, the crocus were excited they had started to send up green shoots. I felt so proud of myself. I need to shop, I want to put some winter veg in and maybe some more bulbs, some new herbs!!!! Gardening at my age is hard, but the rewards beat it. I wish you well, and many happy hours in your lovely garden. Sending Love n hugs......

secrets22 profile image
secrets22 in reply to Sprinkle1

aaww thank you so much ,and hugs to you too.

You may also like...