Hello everyone, I’m 52 and have been caring for dad for 4 years now and I’m just so lonely
Just so lonely: Hello everyone, I’m 5... - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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Just so lonely
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Martin1090
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Hi Martin1090 ,
Welcome to the PWB group!😀 Please take a look around and participate in the activities ( BRAINWORKS, artwork, monthly book postings (Reading Rabbits), trivia postings, music listening/YouTube, jokes, etc.). Everyone is very helpful and friendly. We will try to help with any/all questions you may have to the best of our abilities.
How's your day going today?
😀👍🌈
Hello , it’s the same as every day . I look after dad all day . He often nods off in his chair so I’m completely alone most of the time
Do you enjoy reading? You can do that and also come on here and talk with us. You could join our book posting and we can talk about what we all have been reading recently. I'm working on the new book posting for the January Reading Rabbits monthly postings and then plan to pin them to the Pinned Posts of each group that has them. Would you like to follow/save the next posting as soon as I have it done?
Yes please
I will send you the link to the posting when I get done typing it up. Click on the SAVE POSTING button.😀👍🌈
Thank you so much
You’re welcome!😀👍🌈📚🐇📖
Here's the link for December's Reading Rabbits Monthly Book Posting: healthunlocked.com/positive...
I will post January's posting in a few days ( closer to December 18th). 
Please look for it coming soon.
in reply to Martin1090
Hi Martin do you have any other family
Welcome Martin,Sorry to hear about your circumstances, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job but it can take a toll on your own well-being. There is something for everyone here. From sharing art work, photos on walks, jokes to lighten the mood, quizzes or help at difficult times. Sending a hug 🤗
Thank you for responding ding. , it means a lot
My pleasure. It’s a great community here and whilst your Dad sleeps you can chat to us. I tend to put up jokes but I do have a serious side as well.
Thank you so much
Hi Martin and welcome. You've come to the right place for company and a chat when you feel you need to. It can be very lonely being a carer, especially for a relative but now that you've found us, maybe we can change that. x
Thank you , I hope so
We are here for you Martin
Thank you so much
See, you're not alone any more, you have all these people to chat to. x
Hello Martin! We are all here for one reason or another. The common bond we have is to keep each other from feeling alone or sad 😀 I hope you find something to help you on this site and we look forward to hearing from you 😘 xx
Thank you so much , it’s really appreciated
😀 xx
I will , thank you so much
Hi Martin as everyone else has said we're all here to receive and give support because we're all here because of health or emotional problems, there's always someone here to talk to join in and get to know us xx
Hi Martin
I'm so so sorry you are feeling so lonely.
There's a great bunch of people on here and some are also on their own. I take part in Activity2004 Brainworks word game and really enjoy it and others have posted jigsaw puzzles you do on the internet which are very interesting, here's a link:
This is a very friendly forum and we often share how our days are going or what we've been doing.
I really hope you enjoy this forum.
Take care
Alicia🌈😊
GhoundsReading Rabbits
Welcome Martin. Caring is demanding and isolating so I hope you make new friends here and feel a little less alone. I admire you so much for looking after your Dad.
Hello Martin I'm not soposed to be on as I'm having a break but I'm sure I'll be back soon just wanted to say hello and please don't feel alone you can come on here and there's always someone around I looked after my dad who had dementia at my house and only briefly it was after his stroke and I had 3 hours sleep a night at the end of his stay I was mentally and physical exhausted he went home with carers then in a care home his condition was rapid and he died in June this year I'm so concerned now about another family member about them coping as I hope to get my own place again and I only plan on doing half care if it comes to it can you not get other support your a better person than me that's for sure take care hugs from Mandy and pixie my cat whom often pops up as I keep doing and am soposed to be on a break, but this site is full of lovely people and you'll soon feel like there almost your family 😊🐆🌟
Narwhal10 in reply to
I was asking after you. Enjoy your break xx
in reply to Narwhal10
Hi thank but I've come back I'd put a post out but some may not have seen it I had been feeling stressed and had lot going on all built up and my headaches and lack of sleep are worst for been on here and I feel I was becoming addicted so I'm tryner get the balance right hope your ok 🤗🌟🐆
Hi Martin 1090 your are so welcome to the group 😊 and I’m hoping that you feel you can join in the banter? I’m about 5 mths in and I don’t always post, sometimes just browse and smile! You are doing fantastic by your dad and it must be quite draining, Covid19 is a - - - - - — - as well! Take care and you’ll have lots of friends to engage with 💕😊🎄🎅🏻
Welcome to the group Martin!! I can definitely relate to the loneliness. I’m sure your dad is very happy to have someone caring for him 💗
Hi Martin, Just saying hello and well done for finding us! You will find we all have problems of one kind and another and when I found this site over a year ago it was just what I needed. It has been a godsend to me. Other members have explained how the site works and now you will be able to join us all. I come online each day and look forward to finding out whats been happening and there's always something to enjoy.You are doing a wonderful job looking after your father but as you are finding, caring for someone, no matter how much you love them, takes its toll. In view of this It is very important that you look after yourself both mentally as well as physically. Finding an outlet for yourself to ensure your well being will help enormously. The good thing is we are here for you and can help with this. So just drop in each day and find out what others have been doing. If you feel like sharing your feelings by having a moan, feel free to do so. A problem shared us a problem halved, as the saying goes.
Looking forward to hearing from you again soon.
Chrys
I am sorry you are lonely, Martin. Caring for a parent can out all our aspirations on the back burner. It is a difficult job, and you are not alone in doing it. There are many people here who love to share and there are many things to keep you busy. I hope you make good use of this board!
I'm not in the same situation as you but I live alone and barely see anyone anymore so I can relate to the loneliness. Maybe find a craft or other project you can work on to give you something to look forward to. I got my mom a paint by numbers pictures (one for adults) earlier this year and she spent a long time on it and it kept her busy for a long time. It turned out like a true work of art too (my mom isn't any kind of artist). She was very proud of it when she was done and hung it up in her living room. That may not be your cup of tea but anything to keep you busy and do something you enjoy and look forward to can help with the loneliness and boredom. Hope things get better for you.
Hi Martin, I looked after my mum so I understand your situation. i have been shielding since February and have found this site to be many things, informative, friendly, knowledgable, but above all genuine and fun. These lovely people have really lifted my spirits and I cannot recommend the Interaction and support enough.
Welcome, Sopsx
Hi Martin. Sorry you are feeling lonely......but never again! You have found us. We are your new friends and from now on you will always have someone to chat to about anything. You can post any time about most things and someone will be able to help you with a specific problem or just make you laugh with pictures and jokes. We all get down at times and we all know how difficult it can be. You can tell us anything on here. You will not be judged by anyone. Please keep posting and remember we are always here.
HI Martin nice to meet you. I an known as mad molly. I don't sleep well due to meds I'm on but have just been up and discovered a large pool of water on my kitchen floor seems to be coming through the ceiling. Worried in case it collapses. Firms don't open till eight, hope it holds out. Hope to talk to you about more cheerful things as time goes on. Do not be afraid to ask for help if and when you need it. Stay safe.
Hello Martin! Hope things are better for you than previously! Seems like you have a lot of friends now. Have you ever written poems or sung in a choir or something like that? My husband has begun colouring in those design books that are on sale everywhere. Those are easy to pick up and put down and fun to do. Or get an empty book a do your own 'doodles'!! Or write to me and tell me what you are up to and if you want to take up more serious things. Have good day.
Hi Martin, am sorry to hear you are feeling very lonely, think a lot of the people on this forum do, for all different reasons, we all have different problems and obstacles to our happiness. It would be great to get to know you here, so hopefully you will write and interact. Sometimes people talk about how sad they are - or lonely - or worried - then they disappear, we never get to know them and their loneliness situation never improves.
It is hard to take care of someone, especially when it is every day.
Make sure that some of each day is for you - watching your favourite programme, reading a book, phoning someone you know for a chat, just something different and enjoyable which does not involve the person you care for or chores. I prefer to meet up with family but while that is impossible I make do with zooming with them. I used to like playing bridge, now if I get time I do that online, it's not as good, but it's better than not doing it at all.
Good morning
Hi welcome to the forum . I think it was will help you.. there is always som the on to talk to.Do you get any support /help. I know Covid has affected social care and support. It’s really tiring being a carer. You need to try to look after yourself. I hope you have a reasonable day and that being on this forum helps. Take. Care
Good morning
I hope the replies you’ve had will help you .
Hey Martin ,i understand completely as i cared for my partner full time for 5 years,he suffered Dementia. And now i am alone and have no idea how to start to socialise,due in part to the lockdown. I do hope you can get a life outside of your home as it becomes so solitary and lonely.Sending you positive thoughts and good wishes.
Good morning and thank you so much
Hi Martin, lots of good advice above. I’d also suggest an app called “Nextdoor” that can put you in touch with lots of people in your area who may have interests you like, arrange covid safe walks, offer help if you need meds collected or dogs walked. I come in here and post pics of the local swan family.
Take care mate.
You lookin at me?
Aww, signets are almost as beautiful as their parents aren't they, thanks for sharing this.
That's so precious.. Rose
Hiya Martin welcome to this forum. Hope you can benefit from this forum the way I have. There are such wonderful caring informative and funny people on this forum, who will understand you better then family and friends do as they have experienced things that we are going through. I hope joining us will take away your loneliness and we can be good company for you. Hope to see you around.
Take care
Thank you so much
Hi, Martin1090 .I am 71 and live alone.
Do you get out regularly for walks?
Do you meet local friends on your walks?
What is your association with Kingfishers?
Are you a photographer?
Could you send us a picture?
Hi I don’t get out at all
I look after my dad , but work part time also which is wonderful as it get me out into the real world to have social conversations. Is there a carers group near you . I know Dementia and Parkinson's groups in my area which are for patients and their families. Try to reach out as you have done in this forum as it tough to do it alone.
It’s hard as dad really doesn’t trust strangers
That's an issue with many parents, my own father included. Now he trusts his male carer so much as he has been a gem over the years. Dad still would not be happy to accept a replacement if he was absent.I think you have to insist( Not for him, but for you) as you really cannot exist in a vacuum without some opportunity to relax / get out for a walk etc for your own mental and physical health. If something happened to you, he would have to get outside help I assume.
Good luck.
Hi Martin,Well done for reaching out, think we all get these episodes where it gets too much.
There are a lot of great suggestions here, don’t lose heart, hope you feel more positive soon 🙂x
Hi Martin, welcome , sorry to hear you are so sad. Everyone on here are so kind and we’re there for me when I called out so it’s good that you have found this site m such caring people. 🙏🏻You feel better soon x
Hi there,Well done for caring for your dad, it is a very difficult job and can be so hard and isolating. I looked after both my parents so know what it's like.
Are you aware that your local council (presuming that you are in the UK) have services and support for carers?
Have you come across carers.uk.org? They can give you advice about help available in your area. Also, your GP can sometimes help.
Good luck to you, you are doing an amazing job. X
I'm sorry you're lonely Martin1090. Some days are better than others. Hubby & I are isolated together here in USA. If you ever just want to visit with one or both of us just message us. We get lonely for family & friends but at least we have each other. You are "welcome" anytime.🤗
I know it's not easy. I had to help care for my sweet Nana years ago, and eventually we had to place her in a nursing home. We had great Caregiver's, even at the house on a limited basis . We would spend a lot of time with the Caregiver's in the beginning. We would laugh, and joke with the Caregivers, and tell my grandmother how much we loved them, and that the caregiver were our greatest friends. This had my grandmother accepting the care givers we left with her, even though she was experiencing Alzheimers. On a rare occasion me or a loved one would have to go remind her of the friendship, and love we shared for the Caregiver. I hope pray you will find a Caregiver support group, and also find joy on this site. The things the Caregiver's, and Social Worker's taught us, about caring for my sweet Nana was invaluable. I could never repay them enough for the love, and care they gave my Nana. Now my dad is experiencing Alzheimer symptoms, and he acknowledges he can't remember some things. I thank God that my mom is there, even though she too is starting to forget some small things. I am still so grateful to have them alive, and well for their ages. I do hope/pray you will find joy today , during the Holidays , and there after . GOD bless you.
Thank you so much x
Hello how are you I'll reply later or Tom just chargeing phone 😊
Hi Martin. Are you involved with a carers community. I know they do great things, just to give you a break. If you look online or contact your GP, I'm sure they would help.You're doing a fabulous thing looking after your dad, but you also need to have your own time. Good luck honey ❤️
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