I read on here how everyone is getting on with daily things. I'm at my wit's end, my anxiety is through the roof, family pressure is ridiculous, my partner has no idea how I'm feeling about things and I'm jumping for everyone and I'm feeling the toll. I've no one as no friends, I feel so down
So isolated, feeling lost : I read on... - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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So isolated, feeling lost
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Piggy2
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bobbybobbAmbassador
The current change in lifestyle has left many people feeling anxious. People who are of an anxious nature, their symptoms may have become worse and people with no history of anxiety have suddenly found they are having episodes. You are certainly not alone. There is help and people to talk to and point you in the right direction if you feel you need it. I've included a link that might be helpful. xx
nhs.uk/conditions/stress-an...
Thankyou, I am a very nervous anxious person but now I'm a wreck with lots of day to day things
Just know that you wont always feel this way, you just feel this way at the moment and be sure that things will improve but if you feel you need help, there is plenty of help you can seek , from self help to discussing things over with your GP. Do not suffer with this on your own. xx
I am on my own that's my point, sorry I'm just down
So have you looked at the link. It has some useful information about coping strategies and goes on to give further links. It must be very tough being on your own and suffering from anxiety. You will know yourself that anxiety takes the smallest of things out of all proportion. It is important to try to find ways to manage the effects of anxiety because all of us have anxiety to some degree. For some people it can become a health issue. So the important thing to do is find resources to help give you the tools to manage the effects. Of course we are always here for support and a chat when you need us. xx
I know it’s hard and God knows you’ve been through a lot. Try to keep your head up and stay strong. If your able to walks can help clear your mind and get your endorphins following. This point in time has put a lot of undue stress on us all. But I promise from experience if you can at least have one positive constant ever day you’ll feel better. Whether it be walking,gardening, bike riding. Then try a low key hobby painting, singing, drawing, playing a instrument. Exercise what you can will bring up your mood and lessen anxiety. Maybe yoga. I’m currently very sad I also have a lot of things going on but now I’ll go for a walk at least that gives me comfort. Build upon that each day or at least just a walk a day. Take care and Virtual hugs being sent your way. 🤗
I'm in bed, can't switch off to even read a chapter from my book. I've ran about silly for dad today as he run out his steroid inhaler yet I shouldn't be out as I'm high risk, I'm his carer so I had no choice. I won't use a bus so I had to walk 55 minutes there and back. My partner doesn't live with me and he's at me for not using buses as he wants the minute restrictions are lifted to go to Edinburgh, go away in September and I'm very wary as it's my health but he's saying I'm going to restrict is. My adult son's sleeping all day and awake at night, really I've had enough. Sorry doom and gloom but what about me I'm just so beat. I've 3 granddaughters I can't be with a son and a daughter I'm not with yet others as in family are really doing me in
Well maybe your pharmacy can deliver your prescriptions at no cost or low cost. I live in the US and they do at no cost. I think as far as keeping social distance and not riding the bus is a great idea. You have to stay safe especially if your high risk. My son is and we’ve been isolated since March 14th. He is due to his asthma. Also coronavirus effects your lungs and heart. So definitely protect yourself due to high risk. Be careful with long walks in the heat. Just relax and watch a good movie tonight. Also maybe go through a photo album with your dad. Reminisce on the good memories. To help with not seeing your kids dilemma try Skype. People are even having Skype lunches. Stay safe . Sending you virtual hugs and love. 😘
If your father is shielding or is elderly the pharmacy have a duty of care to deliver his medication.
And if I may be so bold, don't be pressured by your partner. Be your own person.
Sending you hugs, you are not alone. I feel the same most days, my husband works nights, and sleeps most of the daytime. I have days when i feel like doing nothing except sleeping and watching the TV, and other days i set myself a target, even if it is only one thing, so at least i feel better going to sleep. I hope today is a better day for you, so many caring people on this site are thinking of you, and especially me. Kxxx
Tried and get told to.stop being negative and everything's ok but clearly how I'm feeling it's not
It's perfectly to not be ok. Telling you to not be down just dismisses how you are actually feeling. Well done for acknowledging your thoughts and feelings. Speaking out is half of the battle.
Are you able identify the three too things that are making you most anxious or depressed? And is there anything that you can do to control/change or influence them?
Well I think it’s ok to be cautious. If you are high risk I think your being smart. Coronavirus effects the heart and lungs. My son is high risk due to his asthma. I think your doing the right thing with your walk just be careful because of heat. Hey might you be able to have prescriptions delivered? I live in the US and they deliver to house at no cost. Just relax and turn on a good movie today. If you have low energy little walks may help. Find a hobby the arts are great.
We have been isolated since March 14 th due to my son high risk . I even had to quite my job . It’s rough but family is number one. Just keep trekking alone and stay safe. Don’t be to hard on yourself. Life is short enjoy the little moments. Maybe go through a photo book with your dad. You can Skype your kids . People are even doing lunch dates also. Much love and virtual hugs sent your way. 😘
Hi there Piggy2. Have you tried talking to your Partner Perhaps if they realises how Anxious you are he will give you a hug and have a chat. And support you more. I do hope you feel better soon x Brian
I've tried, get told to stop dampening the mood as he's often in a cheery mood. I'll pull myself through this thanks
Just because he is in a Cheery mood does not help u 1 bit. Hope you can get through to him for support Brian
Hi Piggy.
I hope I don't overstep the mark here but let me tell you a story.....
....my "loving" fiance (now-ex), had my best interests at heart. He cared for me, he loved me, he wanted to to everything he could for me.
That was until I developed a serious auto-immune disease that meant I couldn't go out in the sun for even a minute without risking organ failure. He forbade me to take steroid medication that would be life saving incase I put on weight. He insisted that we go to Dubai to purchase an engagement ring. Really??!!! Dubai!!! For someone who is allergic to the sun?? He eventually left me when my medical needs meant that I looked after me more than him.
What I am saying is that sometimes people aren't always as tuned into our needs as we think, yet we bend over backwards in the interest of their needs.
I hope I haven't overstepped the mark. But I wish I had had someone say that to me 6 years ago x
I know what you mean and no you've not overstepped the mark, are you happy now. I see how I can overlook my needs but this time I cant.
I am much happier now. It was scarey and not easy at first. But right now I am free to be me!
I had a thought the other day, "what if we were still together during this pandemic, would he be being careful and supporting me?"
The answer is absolutely not.
That's him though, not your partner.
The only thing that makes me unhappy at times is my illness but that is under much better control without his input x
So sorry Piggy2. I think you won't be alone in this. Some people do have more natural resilience to life's problems than others, but we've all been very tested through this pandemic. Sometimes life throws us things which we can't sidestep or make better, and this is one of them. So we have to have the acceptance to go through it.
Doesn't mean we like it, or can be cheerful about it, but what helps is the realisation that, this time, there's no escape.
Comfort yourself with the thought that it will one day be over. It will, I promise you. There is nothing at all on earth that does not change. Some things more quickly than others, but everything worldly is in a constant state of change.
Be as kind to yourself as you can. I'm not going to say all of those usual things like jolly yourself along, or make routines or try new things. Because I believe that now and again, the best thing is to allow yourself to be upset and fed up. But examine that feeling. Really feel it. See when it's at its worst and when you might occasionally feel a bit more cheerful. Because in looking at that feeling you will see that, even within it, there are glimmers of hope now and again.
But talk to your partner too! Why do we hide things from the people who are most likely to support us? It happens so often. You don't have to be the eternal strong one. Don't make it a moan, but say when you are feeling flat and not coping. And all the reasons why.
I hope you can find a way to feel better. But I think that you and I know that the reason for it all is something which we have to work our way through. There is no solution but to do that.
Take care, and I hope you'll feel a little better soon.🙏
Piggy2 in reply to
Thankyou
I live on my own and have had chronic depression & anxiety all my life. I have been trying for the last 50 plus years to get people & my family to understand & accept how serious an illness it is. We do not want advice and sympathy, just acceptance of the illness. . The lockdown has made me realize how little people care. I have no friends & no one to talk to, I am 70 this year and no energy left to keep on fighting through all this
Some of us are feeling much more down than others, and I know what it feels like to read about how well some people describe how they are coping. Our own personal life situations make our lifestyles different from one another. I really think that the crux of this problem, is that our personal freedoms have been taken away from us. We do not feel in control of our lives, and to some of us, that is very important. Many avenues of help, such as healthcare, recreational pleasures, human contact in the flesh, and emotional support, are now closed off. Everything is distant, an unreal world to inhabit.
If our relationship with our partner is not good, then the chances of our becoming stressed are higher. Being cooped up in a house, flat etc, is not a natural way to live.
I did read an article the other day which said 'if your are reading about what everyone is doing i.e. 'baking cakes, cleaning their houses from top to bottom, going for long hikes, walking on the beach, decorating their houses,' then stop reading about it and switch off.' You do not need the guilt.
Much that I would not wish people to stop carrying on doing what they are doing, we do not need to be made to feel a lesser person. Believe me, it is not a contest. Some people lead far more contented lives than others, and this will always be the case. You are definitely not alone, as I would dearly love some of the people on this site to come and bake cakes for me, and to dust off my furniture.
How you are feeling is a natural reaction to our present circumstances, and we all operate differently under these circumstances. You are no lesser a being than anyone else on this forum, believe me. Being isolated is a lonely place to be, and there are quite a few of us in that situation. I am not sending you rainbows, and I am no Judy Garland, but I do understand where you are coming from. 🎂 This is a metaphorical cake that I baked today!
suzie2004 in reply to
Thank You, I have been reading about everyone baking, decorating and the list goes on. I was feeling a complete waste of space until I read your post. I feel so much better and I will only do what is right for me
I read your post and I've read people's replies as I don't want to repeat anything but I can understand. I am a carer too for my adult son with a learning difficulty. I am very fortunate as he can have his carers come here instead of him going to his groups but there in lies a bit of a problem - what about me? Most days I can cope ok but as mu health is deteriorating somewhat it's difficult. I am a practising Christian and it is my faith that gets me through each day. But also I live in a caring community. Is there any community support in your area? They can often pick up prescriptions for you and even deliver shopping. Have you tried looking on the app Next Door and or checking your local council- there's often plenty of help listed there. As you are a carer, it is Carers Week next week and while most activities are not possible there is a lot of online things happening like coffee and chat,crafty sessions and #DanceforWellbeing. Try looking up carersresource.org for your nearest office. They offer a lot of help such as a key worker to talk to, things to combat stress and anxiety etc. Most of all take time to breathe, slowly and deliberately, pause after each breath- take some me-time, even 5 minutes. I'm struggling with high calcium levels that cause a few symptoms but depression can be one of them and these last few days have been very difficult even though I know I have a lot to be thankful for- a home, a garden, a caring community etc but all this doesn't help when things are getting you down. Sorry for such a long reply but I hope I may have helped a little. Most of all, remember- you are not alone.
PS Dancing for Wellbeing is live streaming Monday at 2.00 on Facebook with a live session Thursday at 2.oo especially for carers- have a look.
Always remember: you are BRAVER than you believe, STRONGER than you seem, SMARTER than you think & loved more than you know.
It's a difficult time but hang in there, it will come to an end. You can chat to us lot on here if you are stuck or need company, we are a good friendly lot on here.
Take care and hang on in there.
Stay safe 🌈
Thank You, it was so nice to hear from you. Stay well & look after each other
Sending you many, many hugs. This WILL all come to an end.
Woman generally have been raised to be care givers for everyone to the detriment of sacrificing themselves. We are expected to be the perfect mates, perfect mother's and caregiver's for all of our loved ones who need us. Well we also teach people how to treat us. When I retired everybody including my church asked me to do many different tasks. I didn't know how to say no then. Now I pick, and chose what I want to do. If I don't want to do something someone asks me to do, and I feel it will pull on my joy, I will say with a smile on my face, no I don't think I can do that right now. I will let you know if I change my mind. Then I smile, and say I hope you can find the right person to help you with that particular task as I say, still with a smile on my face, have a great day. If you get sick who cares for you. If you do too much, there are physical illness' that can manifest. Lady carve out some time for yourself, and tell your family today is you birthday. Tell them you are going to get some scented candles, some soothing music, and that you are going to enjoy a long bubble bath. Of course everyone will think you are going crazy, or think that you have lost your mind. I think they will give you some space so that you can re-cooperate. They will also realize how much you do for them, and they will think twice before taking you for granted in the future. I pray you will find solace/peace in your life, as we all face some challenges life throws our way. I send you several virtual hugs from at least 6-10 feet away .
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