I've put you ladies in two brackets, you can decide which one I have put you in 😊

[Bazzak]

A few of you don't need to guess😊😘😘

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An anthropologist decides to document all of the worlds dances of all the worlds indigenous peoples. He and his team spend years traveling the globe recording each of the worlds unique dances. One fateful evening while dining another patron over hears him describing his life’s work. The patron says “You must travel to the remotest part of the Australian outback and record the Putcher dance performed by only one isolated group of indigenous peoples”. The anthropologist is intrigued and after some research they travel to the Australian out back to find this obscure group. The anthropologist approaches the tribal leader, he describes his work to document the worlds dances and asks if he can record the “Putcher Dance”. The tribal leader is excited “Yes we would be honored for you to record the Putcher dance but we only perform it once a year and we did it just yesterday, you will have to come back next year a day earlier”. The anthropologist is deflated but agrees. A year later the anthropologist arrives with his team and finds the tribal leader “I am here for the Putcher dance am I in time?” And the tribal leader says “oh yes we are excited to have you we are just about to begin”. The anthropologist and his team set up their cameras and recording equipment. Finally the last of all the worlds dances will have been recorded and the lifetime project will be complete. The people of the village gather in a huge circle. The cameras are rolling. The tribal leader steps to the center of the circle and raises his hands, gives a confident nod to the cameras and he begins “You Putcher left foot in, you Putcher left foot out, you Putcher left foot in and you shake it all about.....”

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.A guy is driving around sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten quid," the guy says.

"Ten quid? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"

"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that .

..

If Benny and Björn from ABBA had been

called Steve and Dave, they would have been

known as ASDA. .

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.Why have elephants got big ears?...............because Noddy wont pay the .ransom

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.Marnie, Maria and Mandy are out walking. Marnie says, “Windy, isn't it?” Maria says, “No, it's Thursday!” Mandy says, “So am I. Let's go get a beer.” 😊