Parent #1: Why is there a strange baby in the crib?
Parent #2: You told me to change the baby
.Did you hear about the lady who traveled to the ocean to have her baby?
She needed a sea section.
How did it work out for the lady who had a sea section?
She gave birth to a bouncing baby buoy!
Why did the man bring his pregnant wife a small lizard?
She told him to pick up a baby monitor.
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
How did Batman decorate baby Robin’s crib?
With a bat mobile.
If a baby refuses to go to sleep…
is he resisting arrest?
Peter: My mom is having a new baby.
Joy: What’s wrong with the old one?
Did you know that you can get a wooden car seat?
It comes with a sign that says, “Baby on Board.”
What do you call a newborn baby? Anything you want.
I tried to steal candy from a newborn baby, but he slapped my hand away.
Turns out he wasn’t born yesterday.
I think the hospital accidentally switched our babies at birth…
They’re identical twins, so it’s hard to be sure
Oh, and funny isn't it, how we used to eat cake after somebody had blown on it !!!🙂
Written by
Bazzak
Reading Rabbits
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Fabulously funny Bazzak, and helped cheer me up after my neighbour's baby woke me several times during the night. Sadly they are too exhausted to wake up themselves! 🤣
Two Babies are Side, by side, outside the store. One says "I can 'tell' if You are a boy, or Girl". "Can you" replies the other "Ok What am I then". At this the first baby Jumps over, into the seconds Pram (come they can Talk can't they?) and Covers & Blankets, go Everywhere.
The First baby announces, triumphantly, that "You are a 'Girl'". "Amazing" says the Second "but 'how' do you know?" To which the first baby replies...... Wait for this...... "Easy, you have Pink Socks on"😀😀
Mother and Daughter are talking "Mummy" says the girl "I LOVE you, all the way to Australia, how much do you Love, me?" The Mother is, genuinely 'touched', by her Daughter's question and thinks for a Moment, before replying. "I LOVE you ALL the way to the Moon, my Darling" she finally says, smiling broadly. The child seems unimpressed "Well that's NOT very far, I mean Australia is the Other Side of the World.... The Moon, is 'only' just' up There!" said the child, pointing to the sky.🤗🤗🙄
'They' say that Children 'Brighten' a home..... It's true they NEVER turn off the Lights!😬
Why did the Aircraft 'Come Down' on the Man's roof? Because his child left 'The Landing Light On'!😋
A child goes into class "Miss" "Yes Johnny" (it's Always 'Johnny', isn't it) "Would you 'Punish' me, for something I HADN'T 'Done'?" "No, of course NOT" replies the Teacher. "Oh Good" says Johnny "because I Haven't 'done' my Homework". To cleaver by Bloomin' Half, that one!
The Teacher has One 'Smart A*se' Kid, in her class. Simon knows his Tables, up to 'Seven', can spell 'Necessary' without a Dictionary and can even Argue Politics..... ALL by Eight years Old! 'I'll 'Fix' him, she thought......
"Simon" "Yes Miss" replied the boy. "You have Nine potatoes, all of different sizes. Three large, three small and three that have been Damaged. You have to Feed Thirteen Pupils, how would you do this?" Without a 'moments' hesitation Simon replies "I'd Mash them Miss".🤷♂️
Once again, thank You, for the Laughs- I hope that I have Raised A Smile too.
Hello patient Tim, just be patient I have quite a few more lined up, and not sexist I think 🙂,. Hope all three of you are well my mate and all stay safe 💗
(Oh, and funny isn't it, how we used to eat cake after somebody had blown on it !!!🙂), thanks for the reminder I have to attend the 1 year old great granddaughter's birthday today.
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xx Love the expression on the babies' faces !! xx
Sadness at seeing the other woman in my Fathers life