I'm new to this group. Am working thr... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

9,825 posts

I'm new to this group. Am working through fear and anxiety of these times and live alone.

QuietGreen profile image
39 Replies

It has now been three months of COVID isolation and I am finding it difficult. I live alone for many years and I enjoy living alone. This almost complete isolation is difficult. I feel fear whenever I have to go out to the market etc. I had to go the doctor yesterday due to an ear infection.

I believe it is the uncertainty of how long this will last and how I don't feel connected. I remind myself to be kind to myself. I don't want to revert back to the horrible years of uncontrolled anxiety.

I guess I'm writing this to see if anyone feels the same way and how you have stayed positive during this time.

The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.

39 Replies

What I have done myself to stay positive is go out for daily walks and went earlier this afternoon for one even though it was raining and had a lovely shower afterwards and got in my nightclothes early as well.

Another thing I have done is online learning which I have enjoyed and has kept me out of mischief and I have still been job hunting as well and to interviews doing them on the phone and video camera. Main thing is that I have tried is all that matters!

Back in May I had an interview in Newport and had to go on the bus and had felt anxious but I did it though and was proud of myself as I felt that I couldn't hide away forever so off I had gone and also to Cardiff bay and the city centre which were weird with everything shut!

What about setting yourself small challenges and seeing them through and work up to the hard ones?

I have had times myself when I have felt fed up and angry especially on the weekends and last weekend I was angry over queues for things over what it represents. What I decided to do in future was avoid places on the weekends unless I am really desperate.

Best of luck!

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to

Thank you so much for your response. I have gone out for walks throughout the day and I do find some time outside does help me feel better.

I think you are correct in avoiding locations on the weekends.

Veteran250 profile image

Hi QuietGreen.

Welcome to our lovely friendly community, you may find someone here who will connect with you, I have been self isolating since 13th March, if your feeling uneasy, feeling down, or whatever, click on our community, read post from other members, join in the conversation..... We are all here to support each other, it's what we do!

Take care and stay safe


QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to Veteran250

Thank you so much for these positive words. We are all hear to support each other. I needed to hear that.

leo60 profile image

Hello Quietgreen x I too am new to this group. if you look at my post from yesterday, you will be reassured of the kind of support you will find here. I have Tesco deliveries, can you not do anything like that to save you the stress of going out? I have to go to the doctor tomorrow for a blood test prior to a scan at the hospital next week, frankly I am bricking it.

I am lucky that my garden has kept me sane!

It won't go on for ever. Strange how we like living alone, but when it's forced on you it's a different matter!!

Take care, Laurie xx

in reply to leo60

No one likes blood tests at the best of times!

Good luck for your appointment tomorrow and your scan!

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to

Thank you cat girl! So much appreciated 💕 I can’t say I’m not terrified of the result, but let’s all keep smiling xx

QuietGreen profile image

Hi Laurie,

Thank you for your suggestion of having things delivered. I do purchase several things on Amazon and I recently started using the Drive Up app from Target. Using these services definitely has helped.

I will say that the doctor's office procedures were exceptional. Limited people and I was isolated while I waited for the doctor. I hope you feel the same way when you go to the doctor tomorrow and I wish you the best regarding your test.

Thank you for saying "it won't go on forever." This is true and I need to remind myself of that more often.

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to QuietGreen

Thank you too for your reassurance about the doctors xx

in reply to leo60

At clinical places you are in the safest place possible and will be fine!

Hi QuietGreen

First and foremost welcome, you've come to the right group.

I had an awful anxiety and fear and that was the fear of being sick and tummy bugs. I had CBT and read through and practised the Thrive Programme which you'll find on the internet. This helped me a lot and I'm much better.

What I've been doing during these uncertain times is lots of exercise, I find that helps me personally a great deal. I've also been making special meals for the freezer as I'm following the low fodmap diet for IBS and it's working. Also, have you thought of practising yoga/meditation? That's always good.

You will get a lot of support on this group so welcome and keep well and look after number one.

Take care


QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to

Hi Alicia,

I joined a group to start practicing yoga once a week. I'm sure that it will help. I am also going to participate in some online weekly meditation. Thank you for the information on the Thrive; I will look that up.

I appreciate your suggestions and response.

in reply to QuietGreen

Well done, yoga is very relaxing. I'm missing my weekly yoga classes. Yoga is very good and I'm pretty sure it will help.

The Thrive Programme is very good and does make a lot of sense.

Take care and look after yourself.

Alicia xx🌈🧘‍♂️🕉🧘‍♂️

Agoodenough profile image

It’s a funny old time. Like you I go for a walk every day as I don’t think it’s good for anxiety and mental health to be in all day and evening. I have started to find it all frustrating at times and then I feel okay again. I decided that the reason I felt strange was because there is talk on the news of more shops opening and things moving on and getting back to normal and in reality nothing is moving on or getting back to normal. I Sometimes feel like everyone is getting on with their life except me but of course they’re not. It won’t last forever but I guess we all feel a bit in limbo and of course with every week that passes it is getting closer to normality 😊

in reply to Agoodenough

I have had times I have felt frustrated and angry as well and fine talking and exercise helps and also time.

Last Saturday what all that was over when I was fed up was to do with the queues and when I sat down and looked at what it was that upset me and why was to do with what it represented rather than having to wait in itself.

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to Agoodenough

I agree with you. It seems like everyone is getting on and returning to life as normal except for me. Each week does bring us closer to normality. Thank you!

Becksagogo profile image
Becksagogo in reply to QuietGreen

Oh bless you its not just you. My company sent me home a week before Boris locked us all down because i had just had heart surgery. I too am alone at home and rely on friends and family to speak to. I have been sneaking to Tesco during old fogies hour and last night I took the car for its first proper "spin" for three months. I felt young and wild and free for the first time for months..

Like you I am now waiting for Boris's letter at the end of next month to let me know if and when I will be able to resume my life. My dread is that he decides I need to stay at home even longer. I feel victimised and quite often shout "what about me?" At the tv!

I long to see my grandchildren who live a long way from me.

Please don't be sad. This will end soon and then we can all run wild and hug strangers! Take care x

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to Becksagogo

Thank you for saying that it's not just me. I do need to work on remembering that this is happening to all of us. I do miss hugs and I'm looking forward to being able to hug people again.

I hope we all get to be free and see our families soon.

Hi QuietGreen, a very warm welcome to the Positive Wellbeing community. Glad to have you onboard!

Sorry you are struggling so much with a rising level of anxiety.

I do think you need to be very kind to yourself. This has been a very tough time for so many people and for a wide range of reasons. Being alone is a very significant reason why it's tough. Even though you are normally happy with your own company, we have all had a high level of fear to live with, and it gets harder and harder, the longer we have to do it.

But don't cave in now, because gradually things are going to get better. Slowly, yes! And not quite the same as the life we had before (for now anyway), but we are moving forward. Infection rates are well down and the most important thing is to remember to maintain the safety advice given, when it comes to the time for leaving home. All the same things apply. Keep your hands thoroughly washed. And if you will feel safer, wear a mask for your own and others' protection, now that that advice has been added in.

I think we all feel vulnerable when we go out. It's our new reality at the moment. But honestly, the chances of your contracting the virus is reducing dramatically now. I think it's a good thing to feel wary and a bit anxious, so long as it doesn't get out of hand. It helps us to remember to distance ourselves by two metres from other people.

If you can't gradually get over this and feel your anxiety is really increasing, I'd advise getting help from your GP before it gets out of hand.

But I have a feeling that you are going to get through on your own, because you understand your own anxiety triggers and are aware of them. And that's a huge help. Wishing you all the best and look forward to your posts in the community. Take care. 👍🌈😊

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to

Callendersgal, you are very wise and eloquent too xx

in reply to leo60

Gosh leo60, thank you. You have me blushing! 😊

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to

No, seriously, we can all say how sorry we are and hope things get better blah blah blah, but you know how to put it down properly x thank you so much xx I am sure we are all united in that xxx

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to

Slowly things will get better. Thank you for taking the time to respond. You are correct, I do feel very vulnerable. I will continue to do the best that I can. Your words have been a comfort.

bobbybobb profile image

Hi and welcome. I think it's good to keep some sort of routine. I think everyone has suffered some sort of anxiety related to what has happened. If you already suffer with anxiety, the lockdown has made those issues flare for some people. The shops also now, with new regulations and queuing, it is all very different and takes some getting use to. I tend to go out at quieter times to avoid bid queues and lot's of people. There is support on here also and plenty of people who post so you always have something to get involve with if you wish. xx

QuietGreen profile image

Thank you for reminding me to be kind to myself. Stay safe as well.

QuietGreen profile image

I'm grateful that I have been able to continue to work remotely. The routine of work has definitely helped. More quiet time will do me good. Thank you.

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Hi Quiet Green,

Like you, I'm shielded and although I don't fear going out, It's rather comforting not to have to.

My son is within call, should I take a fall, we have our own parts of the house. he prefers it cool, so he is in the north side, leaving me with the warmer south side. We don't sit in each other's pockets all day, he works in his Man Cave, and I have my computer and craft set up in the living room. It works for us.

In Wales, I have to stay in until mid August, as we are still in the first wave of the virus. We are later than the rest of the UK, and as my part of Wales is a Tourist hotspot we are being extra careful, as it is likely that coming out of Lockdown could bring an influx of tourists, who might bring a new wave of the virus with them, overwhelming our medical services, which are adequate for the general population, but not for greatly increased pressure of ill visitors.

We only have one major hospital covering two counties! Not like London where there are big Hospitals practically everywhere. Summer is worse for us with the visitors, and our A&E departments can get overrun.

Our police are patrolling the major roads, with ANPR cameras, turning back potential visitors, and those 'on the off-chance' folk, who don't consider the ramifications. If they get caught a second time they get fined and escorted back over the border.

Cheers Midori

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to Midori

I'm glad you have someone close to you if needed. I'm in California and the contamination rate is currently the highest in the US. I'll wait and stay separate until there is a decline in the number of infections. There are no guarantees but at least I'm doing my best.

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to QuietGreen

You can't do more than that.

sassykitty profile image

I think I understand where you are coming from. I like living alone (20 years now) with my cat. Times are uncertain as I get concerned when I must go out for necessities. I take all the necessary precautions although still remain more concerned than prior to the virus. With my underlying medical conditions, it will probably be a while before I can rest easy. I rely on my faith in God to get me through these times. God bless...

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to sassykitty

Yes, I continue to take precautions and I pray that God helps me through my fears.

Sheila_G profile image

Hi. I know exactly how you feel. I have a history of anxiety and agoraphobia going back many years. Shielding is making me concerned about going out when I eventually can. I try to focus on the things that matter to me most in life like my family and what we will be able to do when it is safe to go out again. When I start to get thoughts or feelings that I find up setting, I distract myself with reading a happy book or baking or gardening. Have you tried meditation and or mindfulness. They take a while to get into but do work. Good luck with them. x

sassykitty profile image
sassykitty in reply to Sheila_G

Yes, I get to the kitchen and do some baking.

QuietGreen profile image

Hi Sheila. Thank you for sharing your history as it is similar to mine. It has been a little difficult to focus. I have been attempting to meditate and remind myself to remain in the present moment. I will keep working on mindfulness.

Sheila_G profile image
Sheila_G in reply to QuietGreen

That's good. x

82mf profile image

Sorry for your feelings. I understand that they are real.

The bible says that fear is not of the Lord. I live in a very progressive county that stayed one or two stages behind the rest of the state just to show us citizens who was/is in charge. I am not saying that this Corona virus is not real but I think that it has become WAY over politicized. For example, the media is all upset that President Trump held a rally last night in front of a huge crowd but they did not have the same concern when protesters were filling the streets. Before anyone goes to bashing me, I believe that people have the right to protest but they also have the same right to attend a rally.

I have been wearing masks and gloves in public long before this virus reared its ugly head. I go shopping as I need to. My wife has been out of town for the past 3 months, due to her father's passing so, I too have been basically living alone.

Be safe but don't let fear prevent you from living your life. Just a suggestion...

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to 82mf

Thank you for taking the time to reply and for stating that my feelings are real.

I hope your wife returns soon and you can support each other.

82mf profile image

Not only are we walking around with a physical condition that is not visible to anyone but we are dealing with it mentally and emotionally as well. ABSOLUTELY, your feelings are real. I run into people who say, "oh, you look good" and have no clue what any of us go through daily or perhaps even an hour ago. Please, please don't be alone! It becomes so easy to slip off into depression and can be even harder to come out of it without some mind-altering medication that you don't want or need QuietGreen.

My faith in God, my attitude plus, the excellent care team at my dialysis clinic are what keep me going. I am blessed to have some music equipment that I play around with when I get real down. I have also developed several dialysis products to help myself and other patients. This pandemic temporarily halted my development efforts but I am beginning to get my train rolling down the tracks again. Don't let yourself become a victim. God has a purpose for you!!

I don't know your spiritual beliefs but I suggest praying to Jesus Christ whenever you need Him. He is our Comforter!

Thank you for your kind words pertaining to my wife. she is home today and struggling with the fact of this being her first Father's Day without her dad. She loved her daddy and no one will ever fill his shoes...

QuietGreen profile image
QuietGreen in reply to 82mf

It is true that no one can see the struggle within us and there are many who don't understand or have compassion.

I'm glad that you're wife is with you and I completely understand how difficult today must be for her. I lost my father 11 years ago. I miss him and I love him. I pray she finds some comfort.

The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.

You may also like...