Today I was thinking about being alone. Our current situation's been so tough on people who don't have others around to lean on when things are getting them down. So I looked for quotation on being lonely, or alone (which I know are two separate things). What I found was undoubtedly all written before the covid19 crisis. I wonder how many of those people whose quotes are out there would feel quite the same way after being in total isolation for upwards of 6 weeks? Anyway, Henry Rollins, the singer-songwriter said:
"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better."
I partially agree with him, but I also think that's putting a very heavy positive spin on loneliness. I think it can also be really destructive and exhausting.
What do you think?
I hope you all have a really good day and take care.
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I did see your other post on your safety deposit box items and I hope you will find a way to manage your worry over this. I think that being alone often heightens worry, and sharing worries with someone else does help. But in truth, as Jerry has said, being alone is very separate from loneliness. Those who are happy alone are usually those at ease with their own thoughts. I hope you can find a way to have a happy day. Take care.
I am 66 years old and live alone. My best support are from the people in my therapy group and people at my job. i have 3 sisters and a brother, even thought they live close they don't give me much support
Sorry to hear that jakeblues.I have some understanding about how you feel.My oldest son will not have anything to do with me or let me see my grandchildren-the reason due to crooked teeth I rarely smile on photos.His bride whom I love to bits took offence at their wedding at me not smiling.
Loneliness is insidious ,it eats away at your soul until you are so empty there seems little reason to carry on.
Being alone can be a healing choice filled with the space to do the hobbies etc you love.
Stay safe everyone,get support and help if you need it.
I'm sorry to hear about how your eldest son is being with you. Even though it should be him who gets in touch with you first, I'm wondering if you could write him a letter saying how hurt you are and how much you miss them all . You have done nothing wrong. We are all here for you on this forum. It has kind ,caring,compassionate and supportive people who will do their utmost to help you. Take care and stay t. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx 😘
Many thanks Lynne , I tried at my other son's wedding last year -this son ignored me and moved away whenever I approached him.
The other wedding guests were horrified.He asks the rest of the family out for a meal and says "Don't bring Mum she's not welcome" He is unbelievably cruel when I had bone tumour his reply was "so what".
But at the end of the day I am not responsible for his actions.To dwell on it would drive me insane -I have moved on with my life and it's his loss.
That is terrible, and you right, it is definitely his loss, you have done nothing wrong. Because you tried to talk to him at your other son's wedding other people can now see what he's really like. PM me anytime. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx 😘
Hi jakeblues, I’m so glad you have some support from your therapy group. Family don’t always step up to the plate, do they? 🙏
Some people are happy in their own company but I'm thinking under normal circumstances ie. where they can come and go when they please. Under the current climate I feel loneliness is more prevalent and there is no option to come and go as you please.
Therefore I totally agree with you, also those that appear positive, are they really like that or just putting on a brave face?
When my mum was alive she survived my dad by 12 years and she was genuinely happy on her own but I know she wouldn't of been in the present circumstances. My mum was a member of her local chapel and prayer group but also volunteered as a collector for the Giide Dogs for the Blind and if she were alive now she would have struggled I'm sure as she couldn't have done any of that.
Very good post.🙏
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Thanks Alicia and thanks for giving your very valid point of view🙏
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Thank you for posting, it was a very good one as are they all.🙏
Loneliness - or the state of being lonely - is a curse; solitude not necessarily so.
Longing for someone - anyone - to be by your side can become all-consuming and therefore dangerous, pointing to a void that you believe another being would fill - regardless of whether or not that being were to have your best interests at heart.
This is the point at which a person is most vulnerable.
Conversely, being alone physically doesn't have to be a negative: people who are comfortable in and with their own company are usually those who don't need or crave validation from other people in the long term and do not continually clamour to be heard or listened to.
You can flip that on its head, too. You might be out for the evening in a busy bistro with a group of people you call friends, yet might find yourself inexplicably feeling invisible or disconnected - out of sync with the rest of your world.
The mere fact of being alone is neither here nor there. It really is all about being at peace with yourself.
I will say, though, that while I'm usually more than content in and with my own company, when there's a massively overwhelming task looming that I sense will swamp me either physically or emotionally, I do welcome someone I trust stepping in to help. I would do the same for someone I valued.
Thanks for your thoughts TheDrivenSnow and I think you are spot-on! 🙏
Great post, Sue: much food for thought here, so thank you! xXx
I think being alone sucks. I wake up /go to sleep etc...aware of being alone. However, I try to accept that feeling of despair and try to be ok/thankful about my situation ( yes some people are worse off, and yes my situation could be worse and yes try to be thankful for what I ave. It ain't easy being green!
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A quotation for Sunday 5th April 2020