I’ve been diagnosed with MS and recently got pregnant. My family turned their back on me after finding out I was pregnant (already 4 months since they don’t talk to me) and my partner cannot tolerate me anymore. I cannot see the moment were I can feel joy without feeling MS symptoms or worrying or feeling guilty for even breathing. I need advice on how to handle this sadness and loneliness.
Pregnant and depressed : I’ve been... - Positive Wellbein...
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Pregnant and depressed
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maryms
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That is a very difficult situation.
Is it possible you can get out on your own with support from any assistance programs?
There might be local hotline phone numbers with advisors you can at least talk to who might have ideas.
Maybe some of your doctors might be able to refer you to various resources in your area for support. Just tell them what you are feeling.
They might have some answers for you.
I am assuming your diagnosis is relatively new?
I have known many people with MS that lead pretty good lives while being compromised. They just have to modify their activities.
I hope a pathway forward opens up for you.
Your family will come round hunny give them time it was a shock speaking from experience my parents didn’t come to my wedding they took me not being so virtuous bad but in the end things work out with the babies dad it’s not always clear cut it took me till my 9 th pregnancy to work out I’m a complete b@?£h when I’m pregnant or even just on a period and being ill on top emotions flick back and forth irritable unloved and sensitive to anger and the pain intensified every emotion it may not be the same for you I just know how I am and my daughters and some of my friends lol I personally find live easier on my own hope you sort things though hun and I know it’s cliche but life does get better when I was pregnant with my first no family husband hitting me I got to a point where I didn’t care if I died not that I’d ever help it happened but I couldn’t see the bright side now I have 7 kids 7 grandkids whom I love with all my heart and 2 x husbands I love being a single parent but that’s me xxxxxx
• in reply toTreewade
I find myself that the passing of time helps with most problems.
Good Morning Maryms
I am sorry to hear that your Family have turned their backs on you and also your Boyfriend doesn't seem to be interested in you anymore. Because you are expecting a Baby and also has a medical condition called MS. Sometimes families members don't understand how you have allowed yourself to be one pregnant when you have MS .But I am sure that if you still show them love and understanding and tell them that you love them all no matter what. And try and explain to them that you want to have a child and you would like them to try and understand what you are also feeling. In regards to your Boyfriend you don't know what anyone else has said to him. I would try and send him a letter or text message saying that you love him and that you both can work together in sorting out the matter of your coming baby and that he is your baby's father and you and the baby needs him . It also would be also good if you could get in touch with your health visitor/ midwife who is looking after the care of yourself and your unborn baby. As it sounds like that you need extra support for pre natal depression and it's natural for Mum's to be to get pre natal depression. You can also contact the MS society for help and support for your medical condition and that you are expecting a baby in about 8 months time. And they will help you so that you won't feel so depressed. You don't need to suffer on your own with what you are feeling like now as there is help out there. If I or this website can help you further please contact the website or myself and I will try and give you support and advice on this topic and if I can't help I will make sure that I point you in the right direction. Take good care of yourself and your baby to be. And stay safe always. Peter
Gosh maryms, you have been presented with a lot of challenges all at once. Usually I don't advocate looking too far ahead, but maybe it might help a little if you think of the new baby you will have, to love and to love you in return, who will hopefully be with you, safe and well, in a few months' time. It won't make your other problems go away, but it's something positive to focus on.
There's every reason not to feel guilty about breathing. Every breath you take in helps give life to your baby.
Nothing stays the same. We nearly all go through really rough patches in life, but eventually the tide turns and we come to a place where we can be happy again for a while. The rollercoaster of life that we all undertake.
Wait and see what happens with your family. They may well make a change too when they see that you are determined to get through whatever's been thrown in your path, and sometimes a new baby makes all the difference in the world.
Take one day at a time, but be hopeful that, in the near future, things will get better for you. And remember that it starts with you and your decision to not only survive, but to thrive.
Very best wishes to you. Please post here again if and when you need some support, and I hope that you can find some peace within yourself soon. 😊🙏
It's always the way isn't it how these horrible things come in the same blow!
Last year I ended up being punished by a parent myself which has carried on just because I wouldn't give them their own way about staying at that toxic job I left last year and they had wanted me to have stayed there and their advice was to ignore the bullying managers which wasn't very helpful and I had told them in sheer frustration what part of I don't want to be at that f ing job anymore don't you understand as I was at the end of my rope that night and the lecture about that job had felt like the final blow that broke the camels back!
Since then I have been ignored but I feel it's an accidental favour myself as I don't have to listen to that nonsense!
Perhaps that particular job I had interviewed for wouldn't have been the right thing for me but I would rather regret trying than not and it was my choice about staying at a place or not but I stayed firm and said no I wasn't changing to please them and ended up punished as a result which in many ways I feel is an accidental favour as I don't have to listen to that silly and selfish hurtful nonsense for now!
If I want to change my mind then that's fine but for the right reasons not just to avoid being punished all because they can't have their own way!
I don't know why families think they have the right to punish you for anything so simple as following the the path we were put in in this world to follow. As females we are built to get pregnant and have babies, MS notwithstanding.
I am assuming you are an adult, as disowning you if you are a child is, I believe , illegal in most of the countries of the world.
As for your partner, if he wasn't prepared for the possibility of Fatherhood, he should have been taking precautions to prevent this happening. He needs to man up, and realise he now has a responsibility for the Baby, if not you.
How do you feel about the pregnancy? Do you think you will be able to cope with a baby without family help?
You need to put all this before your GP as a matter of urgency, also Social Services, if you are in UK. There are choices you need to make, and soon.
Cheers, Midori
bobbybobbAmbassador
You must remain hopeful. Give your family time, they might come round to the idea as for your partner, if he is not supporting you now, I wouldn't expect to much from him. All that matters is you and the child you carry. You and your child will share a unique bond like no other and if people choose not to be a part of that, they will miss out a great deal. As for your MS, the support groups are really very good, my younger brother has MS. His condition is monitored yearly unless he has any flare ups. MS is about managing symptoms and there is a lot of support for MS sufferers from the medical community and also the MS society. We are also here to offer support so don't feel alone. There are plenty of single parents who manage just fine even with conditions. You have a lot to deal with at the moment so you just need to wade through it slowly so you can adjust to all the emotional changes happening to you body at the moment and also in you life generally. You need to take very good care of yourself. 🌼🌻🌼
You can look forward to your baby, think of him or her 4 months is fine, in another 5 you will be a mum. Is ther e an M.S. support group? When you have your baby hopefully the world will be back to normal. We all have our own problems, but everything can be overcome. They say you can choose your friends and can not choose your family. Good luck for your future, try to stay optimistic. I have gone through the trauma of divorce and I am now re married.
Think only about your forthcoming child and yourself. You are physically impaired ... try not to focus too much on that ... the key to your problem is inner strength. Listen to your inner voice ... it is our Almighty guiding you. If your family doesn’t care to love you ... that is their problem ... you may still love them from afar. Try not to contact them. Let them contact you. Do not contact your “lover” ... let the Court System deal with him when the time is right. Just be happy that you will have a precious baby to love and one to love you back unconditionally! You are soooooo lucky! Be happy!
maryms sorry that you are going thru this during a pregnancy. you need to also think about how it is affecting your baby. here is a confidential # that helped me. 1-200-950-6264 or text "nami" to 741741.
I totally agree Jerry, thanks for your words.. I read them over and over to remember that everything will be ok
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