Has anyone found that at least one of their relationships has improved or got worse since then?
Has anyone found that at least one of... - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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Has anyone found that at least one of their relationships has improved or got worse since this?
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wiserlady
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Yes I have. Have a good night and take care of yourself 😊 Bernadette xx
Yes ! Relationship with my family is getting screwed.
Hello
I can relate to the post
I am fifty years old and I live on my own
AS I only have a Mother who lives by herself she has two sidex
On ond hand very supportive and on the other if I try to do something she doex not likd she will lash out and punish me witj her temper
Now I realise why I chose to remain in UK despite struggling to pass Wills and Probate and find a years work experience
I will alwYs care for her but her terrible temper and her insultx to me are hzrd to forget
Roukaya .....you're 50 years old ..that makes you too old to be punished by your Mother ... or anyone else !
Try to see your strengths and the good that's in your heart .. if your Mother makes you feel this way .. you could try to explain that you DO want to help her .. but NOT if it makes YOU upset and you go home emotionally bruised and battered by her .
If she can't or won't be kind and loving like she should be to you .. then you might want to stay away to maintain your own mental health is taken care of
.. otherwise you will be no use to her or yourself . .. phone her to see what she might need but put the call at and end if it hurts you .. ( maybe she will see why )
Take care and know you are not alone .. you can talk on here and get good advice from others who care .
Luv Mx🌹
Thank you Madge
I hope you are safe and well
Thank you for having the time and willingness to listen
I think 🤔 yesterday I had anxiety with the boiler then listened to my Mothers worry about food as Mauritius is under Lock Down and Supermarkets open for customers to attend according to their surname
I tried to help by asking a friend of hers what can be done
She became very angry and this morning she did calm down because the person I contacted yesterday brought her a case of food
But I am exhausted mentally of all of this
I mean I am on my own this virus is impacting on the whole world
We are anxious 😦 but when someone tries to help and that person gets shouted out then I realise this is not right
I did speak to Mum this morning and I said I would not contact anyone on your behalf again as I only tried to help
She said I do not sound the same
May be the self isolation has made me understand what is and who is aggravating the anxiety I have
How are you
How do you manage to spend your time
Keep Safe and Keep Well
Im safe and well Roukaya .. thank you.
I must admit I dislike this situation immensely though .
I spoke to my elderly Aunt by phone this morning .. she is a very kindly lady.
We drop off a carrier bag with food and goodies to her doorstep every now and then . She also has children who do the same .
I don't understand your Mother , as my Aunt is such a lovely soul and just loves to hear our voices on the phone .
But Hey ! We're all different .
You must ensure that you stay well and part of THAT .. means that you stay mentally well too .. fill your time when not working , doing something nice like
Reading or cooking .. watching tv ...whatever takes your fancy.
You could make your dutiful call to your Mother light and cheery BUT .. also let her know that YOUR life is not a picnic at the moment by any standards During this Virus Pandemic.
Am I correct .. you are from Mauritius.. but you are here in UK working
... and your Mother is still at home ?
It would be great to be able to think of someone still there .. who could visit her once a week maybe , to drop food or medications off .
If not ... then maybe a health worker.
I keep busy here .. my husband and I have a farm .. and are luckier than many as we have fresh air and space all around us 🙏.. so I'm not complaining too much .. I just miss family and friends .. the human side of things ... but I'm immensely grateful my children and Grandsons are all well so far .. though it looks like they did have the virus .. but mild symptoms.🙏
Please be strong .. be cheerful .. phone a friend .. have a laugh ..and take good care of your mind and your body .
Thank you Madge for your kind reply
I hope you are well
Very kind and warm advice
Very nicely written
I was born and educated to Degree Level
I was born in UK but born to parents from Mauritius
Patents separated when I had completed my first Degree
Dad remained in U.K.
Mum resettled in Mauritius
I moved to London and studied Lae but did not gain the practical training to become a Solicitor
I moved back to Derby and discovered was involved with a younger woman who was taking advantage of him
I became his carer given his dementia and Mental Decline and took control of his Property Business which was neglected given Dads decline
Eventually sold all houses paid the debts of Dad and I was his carer until he died two years ago
All this was done singlehandedly whilst Mother living in Mauritius
Very hard
Now since Dad gone I have been trying to pass Wills and Probate and obtain a years work experience to requalify
But I protected my Mothers financial interests as my Father was trying to deprive us of our inheritance for the other women
I did my very best for my Mother and I told her I did a Solicitors job she said it is your duty
This whole process stated from 2010 until I lost Dad in 2018
I have explained to my Mothet that mentally my head can take so much
She is a self made entrepreneur and very proud of her achievements and in many ways she has no idea how at times her temper can destabilise me
I know this now and this Lock Down has made this clearer
I also have access to a Pschotherapist who talks to me to see how I am
I believe if we can surpass this Pandrmic I will come of this whole process a very different person
Stay Safe
WHEN We can surpass this
Pandemic !
... because ... we will !
I should think your Mother would be eternally grateful to you for what you did to ensure she would be looked after in her old age .. but I think not !
My own Mother sounds very much like she could be your Mother's Sister .. as after my Father died aged 65 .. nothing was good enough for her and nothing was ENOUGH for her at all, actually .
As a married woman with a child she belittled me .. I think now that she was jealous of my life and my lovely husband and child.
It wasn't a good ending I'm afraid we were barely able to speak civilly... I forgave her AFTER She died as I discovered she had a serious Thyroid Disease for many years which had never been treated and so the worst in her was shown to all ..
I now have developed that same Thyroid Disease .. and I now know that she suffered badly
I wish that her Doctors had not neglected her health as our lives could have been much better.
But .. enough of me ..
Have you been able to see a Dr.
( not now of course ) regarding your anxiety levels ....and what may be causing them
Your anxieties are no doubt causing or contributing to your IBS. You mention
But maybe you have another reason for your anxiety.. could you also perhaps have an imbalance with your Thyroid Gland ?
As typical symptoms include weight gain and tiredness and anxiety and depression , amongst many others .
Google. HYPOthyroid disease. And
HYPERthyroid disease to see what you think of the symptoms and if any relate to your malaise .
A simple Blood Test is all that is required to identify ( after the Pandemic has settled )
If either of these conditions apply to your health and anxiety issues .. then they can be addressed.... and you will feel incredibly different from how you feel right now !
To address the real cause of your anxieties is to become well again and increase your coping mechanism to allow you to deal with problems as they arise in your life .
You're obviously a very intelligent person but things have become muddled .. and no wonder... With all you've had to cope with in your life so far .
You will become calm again , and you will in turn, pick up all the pieces that have fallen ... and you will keep right on going until you achieve the dream you had ..
You have only out it in hold .. that's all !
Stay well .. stay safe and keep your mind clear too ..
Luv Mx🌹
I kept getting very upset by people being unkind and negative toward me, even family members. My 40 year old son gave me some excellent advice
When I cried on the phone to him:.......
“. Mum, why do you need your words, actions and thoughts to be validated by others. People like ?.....? Only bully you because you allow them too. Don’t put yourself in a position to be validated by others, especially those who upset you like this. Keep your distance from them. Don’t be rude back to them - just keep away from anyone who enjoys hurting you.....”. Then he said something really nice to me:- “.........you are an amazing human being mum, and you don’t need people in your life who are unkind and just want to hurt you”.
May I also say the same to all on here who are feeling the same xxxxx
I really like the name Madge
It is the nick name of Madonna
But I like the name first and foremost
The person I spoke to did bring her a box of food
Should be enough to last a week or two
She is a tiny little Asian Princess, she has immaculate standards very different to me
But her is not miniture
As you rightly said, I did not get a thank you for making sure she has enough during the Lock Down
I have often thought of having a test for Thyriod
Something to consider God Willing
You have a great deal of innate wisdom and life experience
I respect and value your kind advice
I have been speaking to a Psychotherapist
I am registered to do CBT as from next week
I was given a free course module to consolidate my understanding of Wills and Probate as I narrowly missed the pass mark
I am quite muddled with my head in the clouds but I am beginning to demystify the mist
Thank you for your time and understanding
If you are concerned about this you can arrange for a private blood test to be sent to where you live and send it back and then get the result, no need to wait for ages. And the doctor may not agree do to it then anyway. You are either under or over active with thyroid and if it is not dealt with you can die from it, so its very unusual for someone to say they did not take the medicine but survived. I know loads of people who are under or over active and are fine. You can try taking iodine and see if it gives you a boost, spirulina is the best way to buy it, its totally natural. But remember that if you take levothyroxine or whatever for your thyroid your thyroid then gets used to relying on it and gets weaker and lazier until you need more and more medicine. you can geta natural version of the thyroix medicine for underactive thyroid but have to get it privately and it can be expensive. some swear by it. and many get side effects from the synthetic medicine. One of the good things about the lock down is having masses of time, use it wisely by researching all you need to know. I work full time and still make sure I find time to do all of the search which helps me when I am ill.
I know you were stressed other day and hoped it might have improved a little. Try ringing her and saying only trying to help as you love her. Hope thinks settle down
Very kind of you to ask
I do ring to see how mum is
I will always go my best
Just the treatment I get back
Yes it's hard you can only keep trying
Things are pretty good around our house. We live very rurally so don’t really notice too much difference at the moment. Still get to see our community neighbors at a distance and connect via ham radio.
It’s one and a half hours to town. One way. Haven’t gone for the past month and don’t have to go again for the next three.
I think it's easier living in the country less stressful
yes indeed. my relationship with sleep is more strained than ever.
Yes my wife hates me for having a brief fling with another woman . Seriously I did not think she would as we had already talked about separating . Older yes . Any wiser ? I think I will always just be an idiot !
Yes I can definitely see that all my loved ones have come closer than ever, I see my grandchildren everyday on FaceTime. Even through the darkest times there is some light to be found. 😇
I don’t know if it’s improved yet but I did reach out to the estranged half of the family. This is no time for petty behavior. We are all in this together and who knows the outcome.
Yes hopefully will bring people back together
I don't think I can blame coronavirus for what is happening here.
Hi wiserlady,
I've found that all my family relationships have improved. More people are checking in to make sure I'm OK, and I've made calls to extended family who, in the past, have been sadly neglected in terms of keeping in touch. How about you? 🌟
wiserlady• in reply to
Very much the same. I work full time and have to check with staff and speak to clients a lot but have always been very much into family and friends. Have noticed since all this that many of them are now making more effort to stay in touch, whether that is because of seeing things diferently or being stuck at home bored who knows.
• in reply towiserlady
I'd guess a mixture of both things wiserlady 😊
Yes finally broke up with boyfriend. Asked him to social distance because he was still working and he said no. So at a time when people need connections he said no. It was time to end and now lots of time and space to focus on healthy relationships with friends.
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
I said in 9 months time going to be a baby boom or rise in divorce rate.
As I live alone no one to fall out with and family all 100 miles away.
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