I'm gonna vent for a little bit- don't have to read if you don't want to

Ok yall hear goes.

Bottom line- I'm scared. Of what? My self I guess. For crying out loud, a 17 yo girl shouldn't feel this way! I'm terrified of public places, I can't enjoy the meals I use to love because I fear of getting sick, I've lost so many friends from fear of an panic attack. i shake in my bones when I hear I need to go to the doc or I have to meet some one at the hospital and the worst part? No one listens to me! My body gives me warnings before an attack and when I say something about it - for an example of I'm in a store and I need to leave, I'll tell my mom ( if she's with me) that I need to leave and when do they do? They on purpose stay even longer! I mean really?! I'm on the verge of exploding and you could care less. This is curious business that alertly didn't matter to you. I'm sitting here terrified to the point of hiding in the smallest corner possible just to get away and your standing there looking at me like I'm being childish. Ugh!

Having PTSD isn't something that should be played with- and can be cause by not one but several different things playing at one time. I've lost so many friends because I've made up reasons not to go some where because I fear I may have an attack or I'll get sick or I'll flip out or my 'true self' is shown. I will never have the dream of living a stress free life knowing I have a cloud that can cover me at any second, noting that I can never escape. I have no one but my animals who I truely feel safe around now, I have a crazy obsession on a cartoon for crying out loud! Who will ever like someone who is hanging on by a thread and fear of someone owning a knife to cut it off- fear of family finally knowing exactly how I feel. I just- give up!

Thanks for reading and sorry it's so long but I had to get that out :( sad as it may seam.

6 Replies

  • Sad to hear that you feel so bad and that no-one is listening to you. You must find someone to support you at once. You could call the Samaritans on the phone or go to your GP at once. You must not go on alone like this. If I lived near to you I would come and listen to you. But I'm doing the best I can by answering you on here. Wishing you all the very best.

  • Thanks myhealthneeds

  • How are you now? When did all this start? Can we talk more?

  • Same I guess

    In 2011

    And sure

  • Dear Chelseabrock

    I'm very sorry to hear of your problems-and no I DON'T mean that, in any way patronisingly. I do feel that maybe you need some professional help. Please don't think that this means that we don't care-I can absolutely assure that we do. I just think that someone with more experience of your type of problems, and also your age group, might be better for you.

    Sorry that I can't be of more help.

    Very best wishes, for the future Chelsea.


  • That is a good long weepy one eh !!!!!!!! I would get some professional advice as soon as you can.