desperate dad please let me find help here

[tookmom911]

wife has no diagnosis, but i believe she suffers from postpartum depression/psychotic episodes. she is currently in jail charged with 2nd degree assault facing prison time. she has never been violent towards me before but they are calling it domestic violence and she is being mistreated even by the courts. she was on suicide watch for the first 2 weeks, that is hardly normal DV behavior, i am no doctor but what does it matter? she has not seen a real one since before she saw daylight last. my typing skills are sub par, i have more details in my profile. just hope someone somewhere might clue me out of the dark here

[PNI-Admin Partner Volunteer PNI ORG UK]

Welcome to the site. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. It must be a distressing time for all of you, made even worse by the fact that no one is considering what could be behind your wife’s behaviour.

We are UK based so I am not familiar with the procedures and laws as well as general attitude towards Mental Heath issues from a legal perspective in the US. Here in the UK, I would say awareness of different MH conditions has improved significantly and I would expect the detainee to undergo sone sort of assessment within the system especially if you, as the victim, are saying there is something strange going on and her behaviour is out of character. Certainly with post natal illness/post natal psychosis there can be huge changes in personality .

Can I ask how old is your baby? Have you spoken to the family dr? I can forward details of a great US organisation for post natal depression that might be able to give you advice and support .

Please keep talking to us .

[tookmom911 in reply to PNI-Admin]

Yes, our baby is 6 months old yesterday, she was born Christmas morning. The strange behavior once I noticed any of it, and I can’t believe how unaware I really was, by then was too late. Thinking back to my first indication or clue was around the 2 month mark for strange behavior, her health and physical complications were from the get go, matter of fact she had to be re admitted into hospital less than a week after being discharged, blood pressure and hemorrhaging and dehydration. At some point they injected her with a 4 month hormonal birth control that I was totally unaware of when they did it right under my nose. I’m no doctor but even for a lay person that raises questions for me. Everything I’ve been reading about this condition all the signs and indicators are there it makes perfect sense nothing else makes sense to me at this point the delusions hallucinations the rage the confusion her migraines all of it, Even when she made a comment of drowning the baby in the pond I blew it off thinking there’s no way in a different instance she went off emotional leaving me messages about going to find a tree and hanging herself thank God she never went through with it

[PNI-Admin Partner Volunteer PNI ORG UK in reply to tookmom911]

Hi

Apologies I didn’t receive any notification that you’d replied hence this delayed post.

There are multiple symptoms that indicate severe post natal illness and potential psychosis. Have you got a family doctor you could get advice from. Or maybe call up the maternity unit your daughter was born at? It sounds very serious. Is your wife getting any help atm?

And how are you coping with all of this? Are you getting any support ?

[tookmom911 in reply to PNI-Admin]

I’ve thought of that and mentioned it to her lawyer who is supposed to have gotten her medical release to obtain any records. My wife isn’t getting any proper care in jail from what I hear, we’re aren’t allowed to talk due to the no-contact order. I only get my info from her sisters or the lawyer, a large bandage is all they’ve done for her with no pain meds is what I’ve been told. They’re treating this like any other criminal case. The state has a mental evaluator but they’re booked up until august, I’ve been trying to research out laws and other things trying to find anything I can do to counter this. The prosecutor is trying to throw the book at her and set the bail so high there’s no way she’ll be getting out before trial. I voiced my concern about her mental state from the beginning when the cops came to our house but it’s falling on deaf ears. I’m thinking about selling my car to hire another lawyer I don’t know what else I can do to fight this. This feels like an injustice

[PNI-Admin Partner Volunteer PNI ORG UK in reply to tookmom911]

Hi

It’s appalling what your wife and family have to go through.

How about getting in touch with Mental Health lobby groups. Or your local senator? Possibly local newspapers? So though Google I found the following:-

nami.org/Home

It’s a MH lobby group. Also in UK local member of parliament can have a lot of influence and media - well they love a story. 1/5 women have post natal illness that 20% !! From everything g you’ve said your wife is ill , not a criminal and needs medical treatment .

Monica

[PNI-Admin Partner Volunteer PNI ORG UK]

Hi

The link to the charity , Postpartum Support International is below:-

postpartum.net/about-psi/

You can get lots of info there and maybe request advice on your situation specifically for the US.

Monica

[PNI-Admin Partner Volunteer PNI ORG UK]

Hi

I was just wondering how you and your wife were getting on? Did you manage to access any help or information? How is your wife? How are you?

[tookmom911 in reply to PNI-Admin]

Haven’t made much progress, if any. I still cannot speak to her and nobody has gotten back to me, not even her attorney. The courts are so over booked with cases which is the reason my wife can’t even get an evaluation until august because they only have a couple of evaluators in the state. It’s very difficult to keep my head up anymore, I’m barely making it through and it’s only for the baby’s sake. Very emotional and draining. I’ve made a grave mistake talking to the police at the beginning of all of this. The prosecutor is just evil, I’m unable to be positive anymore

[PNI-Admin Partner Volunteer PNI ORG UK in reply to tookmom911]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this nightmare. Please please go to the drs for yourself. Things like talking therapy and or medication can help you hugely stressful this difficult time. Get friends and family to support you . Simple things like exercise - even a brisk daily walk with baby - can change your outlook. I know it doesn’t change what’s going on but the way you view things can make a difference. I had cognitive behavioural therapy last year and it was so powerful in changing my mood and how I views the world and myself.

[PNI-Admin Partner Volunteer PNI ORG UK in reply to tookmom911]

Hi was just wondering how things were with you and your wife?