crass comments!

[Kailacobweb]

what do you say to someone who knows you have been on steroids for 5.5 years and MTX for about 3, when they say to you ‘so what are you going to do about the weight on your stomach?’

[PMRpro Ambassador]

Ask them where their manners are, personal comments are just plain rude. And cross them off your Christmas card list. Can you just ditch them as a contact? None of us needs that sort of nasty comment in our lives.

[Kailacobweb in reply to PMRpro]

I agree, just needed someone else to agree as well.

[Longtimer in reply to Kailacobweb]

My stomach is quite big! It’s due to long term steroids, no way would I accept that rude remark. Can’t imagine friends and family daring to say it!

[Thelmarina in reply to Kailacobweb]

And then laugh - because they don’t know that it’s the side effect of a drug that gives you the energy to boot her/him out of your life 👏🏻

[SnazzyD]

Depends on the context, who it is and the conversation that was ongoing. Some people are blind to the effect of their words. Otherwise, “Er, what are you going to do about yours?” . “Are you always this blunt and rude?”.

[Kailacobweb in reply to SnazzyD]

😂😂😂

[piglette]

and a Merry Christmas to you too!!

[RachelJDH]

God how annoying. It wasn't the rheumatologist was it because that was what he said to me at my last appointment more or less, about 4 times. I did point out that I had no weight or shape problems prior to steroids. I confess that like you I have stewed about this since, especially as he made me feel that it was my failure that I had not managed to keep my weight down and now I've given myself osteoarthritis too.

[SnazzyD in reply to RachelJDH]

Especially when they neglect to tell you to cut down carbs severely and then moan about your weight. I did carbs lockdown very early on and when I went to my having not put on weight on 60/40mg they said I can’t be managing to absorb my Pred. You can’t win!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to RachelJDH]

"given myself osteoarthritis" - that was clever!!!!!!

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to PMRpro]

Didn’t realise you could do that by choice🤨… where do they get these nuggets from!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to DorsetLady]

Me neither - probably blaming pred and weight gain for making it worse???? Knees with OA are made lots worse by excess weight but if it is OA, it can do that in skinny people too.

[Angelsmummy in reply to DorsetLady]

Out of a Christmas Cracker.,!🤣🤣🤣

[Indigo2417]

Isn’t it so frustrating that when someone says something like that and you haven’t got a ready answer off the cuff. How about ‘ It was so nice to speak to someone as sensitive as you. Remind me to get in touch again after the next ice age’. Or, ‘ What are you going to do about your missing single brain cell?’

[Angelsmummy]

Wouldnot be able to print my unedited version.!Do you particularly like the person who said it?If you don’t I would say,” I can do something about my weight,etc when I eventually get off my meds, shame you can’t do anything about your wayward mouth” .Hope this person isn’t a friend,cos if they are,they would not be anymore if it was me I tell you.Awful,inconsiderate person!!.,😡😡😡🤬😡🤬💐😜

[Angelsmummy]

Sorry,needed to add that even if it was somebody in “ authority” it does NOT give them a right to make anybody feel bad about themselves.As my dear old mum used to say to me” manners don’t cost!” Xxx💐😜

[SusyTe]

I have had this and I said “I will lose weight, when I am able to reduce the steroids I am on to help with my pain, but you will always be a rude and insensitive person!”

[Sophiestree]

Wow! A comment like that can set a young person off down a very dangerous road. Just plain rude. No words...

[Elispeth]

🧛‍♂️Hi Kailacobweb. There is not a lot that you can do about someone else's unpleasantness and insensitivity. It is a very ignorant remark and it is a reflection on what is going on in their head rather than anything to do with you. Please don't let their ignorance and insensitivity affect your ability to remain resilient to what is happening for you at this time in your life. We have enough to manage with our disease as it is. I hate the size of my own stomach and know what it is like when people glance at it and quickly look away. I have also had people say stupid remarks about my condition like 'you were alright yesterday! '

My condition has actually improved since I have grown a thick skin and

pledged to just spend my time doing only what feels right for me - possibly because I now get less anxious! Only you know what happens for you and why. Don't let ignorant people get you down. Stay strong 💐

[Hirondelle]

About 4 moths after PMR diagnosis, I fell and hurt my ribs. I saw a male paramedic at the surgery, who said « ooh, someone’s been Covid comfort eating, haven’t they? » I was so upset, I couldn’t say anything but when I got home, I copied a medical paper about steroids and weight gain and sent it to him. Grrr!

[Angelsmummy in reply to Hirondelle]

Disgusting creature and SO glad you did what you did.,Good for you girl!.,🌼😜🥇

[S4ndy]

I am at a loss as to why people think it's their right to comment on people's weight.I too have a pred baby. My usual response is to now say "that's my prednisolone baby, I've been incubating it since 2016! Go and look up the side effects of prednisolone online". Usually shuts them up.

People can be really hurtful though. "Fat shaming" is almost an acceptable sport in this country. I've even had someone ask me if I don't work because I am obese! I soon educate them.

I also get annoyed with the constant "have you tried...." diet advice or latest weight loss fad. If I am in an argumentative mood I challenge them pointing out that despite how l look now I am a qualified exercise professional and nutritionist and that the only way to lose we ight is to consume less energy than you expend! If not in an the mood then I just say that I have an autoimmune condition and the treatment can cause weight gain and redistribution of fat cells. Send them off to look up PMR.

[Angelsmummy in reply to S4ndy]

If they have the intelligence!🤬🤬🌼😜

[Satya70]

On a good day I might remind that person that steroids make it really tough to reduce belly weight.

In a bad day I’d make a FAR snarkier remark. 😣

[IlovePorridge]

I could tell you what to say to them but I would likely be banned from this site!Give them a wide berth in future. Keep smiling.