seeing a Rheumy

[Guilluame]

hello again, A lot of people on this forum talk about seeing their Rheumy, I have never been offered to see one, in fact I last saw my doctor last May and that was when I had pneumonia, I have a medicine review in the 18th December by a pharmacist, but nothing else. I last had a blood test last December and when I mentioned this to the doctor in May, he said no need for another one at the moment. I. am wondering if this is normal. I have just got over Covid, thankfully very mild, but am left feeling anxious, depressed and tearful. I have a loving family, but don’t want to moan. I lost my partner of 31 years last year and got pmg September 2022. I am 84, and would appreciate any thoughts any of you on this excellent forum might have.

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer]

hi, sorry to hear about your partner..

If your PMR is relatively straightforward and you aren’t having issue a GP is quite capable of treating it- it fact sometimes better if you have a good relationship with them and sometimes easier to access.

Some have bloods tested regularly , but certainly since the arrival of Covid, in the UK particularly that seems to be less common than it was. But you should have a general medical check up at least once a year-which includes various blood tests - with or without PMR.

I would say your current feelings could be a hangover from your recent bout of Covid, and this link published in relation to the whole Covid/lockdown scenario might help -

nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/m...

.. and maybe contact GP or have a look online for bereavement counselling - it affects us all at different times… and that can be a lot longer after the event than some people may think… you might find it helps.

But it could also be adrenals struggling-

healthunlocked.com/pmrgcauk...

No one wants to moan, and no one on here would say you are, but it’s quite normal to need a bit of help and reassurance - that’s why we are here.

Take care..

[Guilluame in reply to DorsetLady]

Thank you so much for your kind reassuring answer. I would say now, on reflection, that my pmg is relatively straightforward, so thank goodness for that. This is a lovely forum and thank you again, I take comfort that I am not alone, although I have family, som times you just don’t want to bother them.

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Guilluame]

Know exactly where you are coming from about not worrying family… have had many a lecture from son on not doing that when his dad was very ill.

So -and I know I’m lucky -I regularly get the question “are you alright mum, and you must tell me if you’re not”

My stock answer is “of course I will” -but he still gives me that look!

Sometimes we can be too independent for our own good - but most don’t understand our illnesses - and although he obviously does understand about his dad passing, again some don’t -especially after a long partnership- ours was almost 50years.

[Guilluame]

Thank you again, your Son sounds just like my family, and my stock answer is always “I am fine”. I always remember my own mum saying just that to me, and it always made me feel relieved, but as you know sometimes that isn’t quite true.

[Guilluame in reply to Guilluame]

sorry I meant to give you my condolences, 50 years is a very long time, and it’s only when you have lost someone very dear to you that you realise just how much they meant to you, I always will regret not telling my partner that, but I think deep down he knew, I lost my husband to cancer when he was52 and I was 48, then had the good fortune to meet John who my whole family loved , so in that regard I should count my blessings every day. I just can’t seem to pull my self up although I do try.

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Guilluame]

Thank you - it was 10years ago - so the rawness isn’t there any more but that doesn't mean he isn’t still missed.. he was a larger than life character 😉.

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Guilluame]

Yes and your “fine” -may not be the same as their interpretation of “fine”… 🤔

[Guilluame]

Thank you once again, so lovely to have people like you on this forum who really care, it does help.

[PMRpro Ambassador]

Something like 75% of PMR patients never see a rheumy - and at present the waiting lists are humungous so it is a long wait.

Personally I disagree with the infrequency of blood tests - not that I have had one any more often in the last few years! But in the UK it does seem to be difficult at present.

I too lost my husband a couple of years ago - after a long illness that coincided with Covid, It didn't hit me at all for 6 months but then it did like a ton of bricks. Bereavement counselling did help a lot and I do miss it. My daughters are in the UK and I am in Italy so it is quite easy to deny any problems, not that they can do much, barely get leave from the NHS for themselves, never mind to visit me! But there are ways of getting help because the way you are feeling is entirely understandable - and I don't find it improves over time as many people seem to think. It is different, different things trigger the sadness, but it is there.

[Guilluame in reply to PMRpro]

Thank you for your reply, in a way, lucky you to be living in beautiful Italy, and I hope you have friends over there. My daughter is at present in Spain so in a way it is easy to say, “yes, I am alright”. I will sort out some sort of help, as I think I have been in denial for a long time. I am grateful for your reply.

[piglette]

The majority of patients with PMR never see a rheumy, so you are not the only one. I have not seen my GP face to face since 2016, just argued with him on the phone! Usually about bisphonates.

[Bcol]

Morning, my condolences on the loss of your partner and nothing I can add to the comments from DL and PMRpro. I've never had a Rheumy and have an excellent relationships with my GP and surgery. My PMR has been pretty straightforward and unless I or the doc want extra I get annual check ups and blood tests for my PMR and for the various other things I suffer from. No problems getting phone or f2f appointments when needed.

[Guilluame]

thank you for your reply, my surgery is on special measures, so it has been difficult to get a phone appointment , but hopefully they will now improve or be closed which would be terrible. My pmg is straightforward, thankfully.