It is with great sadness that I write to say my darling husband has died.
Loss: It is with great sadness that I write to say... - PMRGCAuk
Loss
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prunus
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185 Replies
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I am so very sorry to hear this sad news prunus . Thinking of you, Irene
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer
So sorry to hear that….please make sure you get all the help you need to help you through a very difficult time..
Lots of us have been there, so please remember we are here if you need us. 🌸
Yes I do need to know you are all here. We are a small family myself and two sons.
I send you my love and wish you peace and comfort at such a sad time for you.Heather. Xxx
Charlie Mackesy
I am so sorry for your loss Prunes.
Dear prunus I am just so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Darling Husband. I’m sure you must be heartbroken 💔
Be mindful that this may have an effect on your PMR depending what dose you are at now.
Please look after yourself, remember we are here if you need to talk.
Thinking of You
Angela (MrsN) 🌺
I am heartbroken - we had been married fifty nine years. We had gone to the RHS at Wisley for a day out. He and his scooter fell sideways off the kerb. He had two fractures of the pelvis one through to his hip. In hospital he got pneumonia and sepsis.
Oh Prunus - how awful 😢 that is so very sad 💔 Just nothing you could ever have been prepared for. Heading you Love ❤️
Angela xx
Oh goodness that’s dreadful -snd such a shock for you…virtual hugs 🌸
I am so very sorry to hear that what undoubtedly started out as a day to be enjoyed by you both led to the saddest day imaginable. I pray you will be surrounded with love and support from those around you and be given the strength to get through the next few months. With love and prayer, P.❤️🙏
I’m so sorry to read this. Sending deepest sympathy.
So sad. So sorry to hear this. Such an awful end to what must have been a hopeful outing. And to lose him in the end - I can’t imagine how you are feeling now. I send you all my sympathy. Carrie.
Heartbreaking, thinking of you.x
Sending gentle hugs to you at this sad time. Take care of yourself xxx
Very sorry to hear such sad news, sending sympathy & gentle hugs, S xx
I am so sorry prunus, for your and your family’s very sad loss. Sending you love, comfort and strength for the coming days. Please take care of yourself very carefully, although this will be far from your mind. 🌷💜
At the moment I am not with it.
Of course not. 💛
So sorry to hear your sad news. Some time one or the other of a partnership dies and it is devastating for each one.Sending you big hugs. Look after yourself.
How long were you married? It is great that you have your sons at your side.
We had been married fifty nine years. He was just so lovely to be with. Before he had his first stent put in at Harefield Hospital we were walkers. They gave him statins at the hospital and they destroyed his muscles. When he went for a second stent they wanted to give him statins again, he refused but the damage had already been done.
I can’t think of any way in which I could help , except to say I wish you all the best for the future. 💐🍀
Oh! That's such sad news! Please accept my sincere condolences. Your sons will rally round you and you will console each other.We are separated on this forum for obvious reasons but we are your family and your friends and will listen at any time so please come back here at any time if you need an ear. 💐
I very much appreciate this forum. All of you give me strength. At the moment I cannot think straight. Because he has had a fall they have referred it to the Coroner's Office and I have them on my back. I could do without it and do not see why it is necessary.
Paperwork? Questions? All so hard to cope with at the best of times. 😰
Because it’s an unexpected death -snd as such they have to check it. Not easy for you, but hopefully they will be sympathetic and quick
I certainly was not expecting him to die of pneumonia and sepsis. Why did they not pick it up in time? That is my question.
Do you have a family member or a dear friend who can take some of the weight of the practical things that have to be done? You have clearly had a terrible shock.
I have few family and noone is near. Fortunately I have a dear friend who has received many phone calls. She lost her husband two and a half years ago.
I hope she can walk you through some of this trauma. My heart goes out to you. I was lucky in the kind professionals that surrounded me, I hope you are too.
Ah, now that’s awful for you. So sorry you’ve got that as well. Wishing you strength until you can settle with just you and the family. 🌳
You could definitely do without the extra stress of dealing with the Coroner’s office as well as dealing with your own grief.
Just delegate wherever you can and accept all the help that’s offered. You need to take care of yourself. x
I'm so sorry to read this sending you a virtual hug
Really sorry for your loss. Heartfelt sympathies. Please take care of yourself.
It is devastating, somehow you learn to live with the sadness and loss, it's the price you pay for love, this old saying helped me, "Better to have loved & lost than never to have loved at all" X
I would most heartily agree with that. Every marriage has its ups and downs and we have certainly had our share of downs one way and another to deal with.
My heart will be with you today.
So sorry for your loss prunus. I hope you have support around you at this sad time. take care of yourself. x
So sorry for your loss Prunus. May he rest in peace. Thinking of you 🌺
PMRproAmbassador
Hugs prunus - know exactly where you are xxxx
Sorry to hear that your husband has died. The way you write about him shows that he was much loved. Hopefully the memories will keep you going and happiness will return to you in other ways in the future. A big hug, you probably need one.
prunus in reply to
He certainly was much loved.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. Just hope that the memories of your time together bring you some comfort xx
I am so sorry to hear about your sad loss. Thinking of you and look after yourself.
Dear Prunus—Terribly sorry to hear about your loss. Fifty-nine years! Words of consolation are so in adequate.
So sorry to readof your loss Prunus, words sound so inadequate at this time. Big hugs.
Prunus so very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. X
So sorry to hear of this sad news and can imagine how devastated you are. I think many of us can feel with you having gone through this ourselves. Just know that you have many friends who are thinking of you and keeping you close in our hearts.
So so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you
So very sorry to hear your sad news Prunus. The thoughts of all on this forum will hopefully be of some comfort to you. Hilary 🌷
They are - very much.
Such very sad news to wake up to Prunus. Your pain is so very palpable. Sending my love and positivity, Elodia xxxx
So sad to read this - the loss of your husband after so many years together is immense… and that his death came so suddenly adds to the grief. I hope that the Coroner’s necessary investigation may soon be concluded - as Dorset Lady commented they do have a duty to investigate the circumstances surrounding all sudden deaths, but in my experience they are also caring people.
Your long life together will have accumulated many good memories - a good place to start… and to allow the tears to come…
Bless you.
So sorry to hear of your sad loss Prunus. Take care of yourself. x
59 years of wonderful marriage and memories and two sons made from your love. I hope those thoughts sustain you in your grief and send you comfort.
So so sorry to hear this sad news of the loss of your darling husband, prunus. In such sad circumstances too you must be feeling very devastated and numb. Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. Will be thinking and praying for you as you traverse unknown territory and with all you have to deal with at the moment. Much love, do try to look after yourself as well, I would imagine it’s hard to concentrate on yourself. Do pray that you will receive some support at this time. Do keep in touch. Much love Jackie 💐💐
Sending love and healing hugs Prunus xx
Sending you much love and light at this tremendously sad and heart wrenching time, xx
That is much appreciated.
I’m so so sorry . I lost mine 3 months ago of a sudden heart attack in the next room and I still wake up with a gnawing feeling in my stomach . I hope you have loving family and friends nearby or if not nearby , being very attentive to you at the moment … You may find people ( especially ones who’ve not been through a close bereavement ) , coming out with well meaning but dumb platitudes , I know that for me I just want to talk to other widows and widowers really at the moment . Don’t put any pressure on yourself and give yourself plenty of time , just take each day as it comes . Sending love and empathy . Xx
in reply to Yellup1
Wishing you the fortitude to get you through this gruelling time. A big hug.
prunus in reply to
Thank you. I shall need it.
Yellup1 in reply to
Thankyou so much bluepuddy
Yes I must not. Yesterday I had the Coroner's Office ring. I tried to cope with it but, although I normally think myself competent I had to ring back and ask them to contact my son instead.
I meant to say I'm very sorry to hear about your husband. That must have been very difficult for you.x
How very sad. I am sending you my deepest-felt condolences. To lose your other half of so many years is so hard. May the wonderful memories you surely have, give you the strength you need to carry on.
How terrible that everything unravelled so unexpectedly. As PMRPro says, it is sadly quite common. My mother in law contracted pneumonia following a fractured pelvis, and I do know of others. I'm so sorry, I hope that you can find some comfort in having someone to talk to on this forum, there are plenty of warm-hearted people here. Take care.
What a shock. So sorry Pru 💕
It was. Especially when it should have been a nice day out.
I am so sorry to read this, sending love and a hug X
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.
That is very kind of you.
I cannot imagine your distress.I dread the day I might have to face it.
I have been married to my lovely hubby for 53 years but have known him for 70 years.
It was bad enough losing my super sister-in-law 18 months ago.
My heart goes out to you.💔
Words seem so inadequate at times like this … sending you love and a big cwtch x
Many thanks.x
Oh Prunus what a terrible shock when you were having a lovely day out to end like that. I can't imagine the sense of loss and desolation you must be feeling. As all of these responses show, your PMR faliy are all here for you. I join everyone in Prayers and Hugs...................
Dear Prunus,Hard as it is but please try to be grateful for all the time you had together.
I made a very conscious decision to be positive and put on a smile when it was the last thing I felt like but gradually my smile became genuine!
Jazz77
I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. My thoughts are with you.
Oh Prunus, I’m so very sorry to hear that.
Sending you every blessing in these dark days, but I hope your happy memories give you some comfort. 💕
So sorry, Prunus. My thoughts are with you.
Just writing these words can take enormous courage and be heartbreaking. I am very sorry and am thinking of you.
So very sorry. Sending warmest thoughts 🦋
You are in all of our thoughts. Sending love and virtual hugs at this tragic time x
I am so sorry to hear this. Do look after yourself.
So very sorry to hear this terribly sad news. They say there is strength in numbers and right now there is a large number of us thinking about you, showing concern , love and support. Keep writing - it usually helps a little.
I’m so very sorry. Wishing you strength to get through this worst of times xo
So sorry to hear this. The shock of your husband being taken away from you in such a sudden and unexpected way must be enormous. My thoughts are with you
So so sorry to hear your sad news. Sending you and your family my heartfelt condolences. A gentle hug is coming your way x🌺🌺🌺
So sorry to hear of your loss. I found this greatly comforting when I was grieving:
"You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy is created in the universe and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, ever vibration, every BTU of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid the energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point, you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off you like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.
And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue in the heat of our own lives.
And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy is still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone. You're just less orderly. Amen".
This is a transcript of a speech given by Aaron Freeman
I’m so sorry 😞 look after yourself 💜
So sorry to read this and how it all came about. I'm sure you are in shock right now and it will take time to process. Take things at your own pace.... and take all the help you're offered.
The irony of these times is that there is just so much to do.
I'm sending you a very big virtual hug.
My husband also died from hospital acquired Pneumonia before a proper diagnosis happened so I understand that feeling and frustration when it is all so fast.
Be kind to yourself and take it as slowly as you want to. I'm sure your sons will be a great help to you.
So sorry to read your news Prunes, thinking of you, keep your boys close to you and together you will be stronger. Margaret x
I'm glad that you're getting so much love and support from this group. When my husband died I remember walking round in my house just crying and shouting...I was so angry with the hospital and reading your story has brought it all back to me. However I'm still here 17 years later, having had another relationship with a lovely man who died from dementia during the pandemic. It may not seem like it now, but there will be some good times ahead for you, you do have a future, and the sadness and numbness that you feel now will fade a little but remain as a permanent reminder of how much you loved each other. Someone said to me at the time who had lost her own husband 'it does get better!' and I clung on to that during the worst times. Pris
So sorry for your loss, may he RIP
Sending you my deepest sympathy on the loss of your Beloved Husband and Father to your Children.Keeping you in my thoughts and Prayers at this difficult time.xxx
I am truly sorry for your loss. Try to think of the many happy years together, and talk of those times with your sons. Sending love and prayers. x
Gosh Prunus Im shocked at your story today. All the good hearted people on this wonderful forum will be thinking of you & sending love & hugs just as I am. Take it very easy one day at a time with the support of your 2 sons. An elderly frnd of mine helped Cruse Bereavment Support so might be an option. Take care. Lots cups tea! Much love xxx
My condolences to you and your family. May he Rest In Peace. Hugs
My thoughts are with you Prunus . May you find the strength to bear the seemingly unbearable. Sent with much love. Pat
I'm so sorry Prunus to learn of the death of your beloved husband after 59 years. I pray for God's grace and comfort to help you get through this time of great loss. Evelyn
So sorry to hear your sad news. I hope that 59 years of happy memories will help you get through this very difficult time. 🌺🌺
Sending sincere condolences to you and your sons at this time of profound sadness and sudden loss. Wishing you strength and courage to get through these worst days.
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy. Keeping you in my thoughts….
The intensity of your pain and loss can be felt through your post. I'm terribly sorry. Holding you in the Light.
Very sorry for your loss, and that you had no time to prepare for it.💐 I used to work in a trauma ward, where half the patients had broken their hips, and unfortunately the biggest hazard for them was pneumonia.
It was so sad to read your post Prunus. I can only imagine the grief you feel and the unreality of it all. It must be so difficult to process everything, especially as your day out changed everything. You had no time to prepare for this, which adds to the shock. Thoughts of happier times will come somewhere along the line, even if you have to shut them out for now. Having your sons around must be a real help, practically and emotionally I imagine. No words are sufficient at times like this, other than to let you know that we are all thinking of you. Brenda C
My deepest sympathy
Good Morning, I am so sorry to hear this. So sorry for your loss. I am new year. Please for give me for asking, did your husband pass from PMR? I’m sending you warmth, hugs, peace and prayers for strength during this time.
Please accept my deepest condolences. I understand too well your loss. Please take good care of yourself. You have many friends who love you here.
Hi Prunus, I read though the comments and learned how your dear husband passed away. Again, I’m so sorry. I recently lost both of my parents to Covid, was diagnosed with cancer and my husband developed PMR all at once. I don’t know how I am making it through everyday. Now I have to watch my husband suffer everyday not knowing what to do about this dreadful disease PMR. Not to focus on me, but I’m sharing to let you know that the hurt will never go away, but you will get stronger everyday. May God bless you and comfort your heart. May your husband Rest In Peace. He will always be with you in your heart. Be easy on yourself. Take care of YOU. ❤️🌷
May you be surrounded by friends and family who will bring you great comfort during the days ahead.
So very sorry to hear your sad news,please take extra care of yourself.🙏 god bless
I hope you find some comfort in all the sympathy and support expressed by us all. This we can do for you.
It isa terrible loss to lose a loved one. My heart goes out to you
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family !
Sad to hear of your loss...my thoughts are with you 💐
First off, thank you so much for sharing your difficult news about your husband’s passing with us. Although this forum is separated by miles, we are connected in spirit and remain full of compassion for members, especially during challenging times.
Your relationship with your husband sounds like a it was a lifetime filled with love and adventure. I’m so sorry to learn that his life ended quite abruptly from causes you did not expect. This will, of course, be somewhat of a shock to you and your family. Please do whatever you must during this time of mourning…..feel the emotions and express them with others who miss him so. You’ve made 59 years worth of memories with him, and my hope as you recall your life with him you will be reminded of happy times together. Even the seemingly small things like the memories of the two of you walking together serves as a reminder of your love. Surround yourself (if possible), with those who love and support you. Those who knew him and you as a couple will “get it” when it comes to your loss and grief.
Many used to think that grief shrinks over time and is flared up whenever special days or locations or happenings occur that trigger our memories of the loved one we’ve lost. Now it is better understood that time doesn’t simply lessen our grief. Rather we as individuals grow around our grief, and it is carried with us. We learn to listen to our grief while honouring the memory of our lost loved one.
Please remember….death ends a life not a relationship.
So sorry to hear your sad news. Always remember“Those we have loved stay forever in our hearts”
Maryx
What a terrible shock prunus. Words are not enough at a time like this but they are all we have to show how much we care. Sending you love and virtual hugs.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have travelled down that road. It is hard but you will endure and smile again when you think of all the joy and good times you had together. Randy
Victoria, BC Canada
Such sad news, sending you strength xx
I am sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself. Will keep you in my thoughts
Dear Prunus, I am so sorry for your sad loss. My commiserations go to you and your family at this difficult time. Please take care. 🌺
So sorry to read this, heartfelt condolences. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in your time of grief. Please do take care of yourself and may you find comfort in Him🙏🏼
So sorry for your loss my sincere condolences to you and your family x
💐💗
I am so sorry Prunus. Reading all your comments above I can only imagine how you are breaking into pieces. Please take care and look after yourself. ❤️
I am so sorry to hear this news prunus. What a dreadful shock for you, so unexpected. I can only send my heartfelt condolences. Take care of yourself and accept help where it’s offered.
Hugs 🤗🤗xx
May he rest in peace. Take care of yourself ❤️
So sorry to hear this Prunus, just catching up. Take care and look after yourself. Sending virtual hugs. X
Although some of us are newer friends on this site, we are still feeling your pain. Please accept my deepest sympathy. Please take care of yourself at this difficult time, and do reach out when needed. Adrian
So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you 🙏
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