Grumpy me: I have a lovely cleaner who comes twice... - PMRGCAuk

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Grumpy me

Billiebobdog profile image
43 Replies

I have a lovely cleaner who comes twice a week but she absolutely steadfastly refuses to have the vaccine. To be fair to her, the way her life is if it will go wrong then it happens to her so in a way I understand her reluctance, plus she is well on the side of the anti-vaxers and how it is an infringement of her human rights not to,let her do things because she isn’t vaccinated etc etc

So what do I see but her lovely pictures and videos of the wonderful time she had on New Year’s Eve at some amazing, overcrowded, NYE party!

Honestly, she has two young kids, she is one of the primary carers in her very extended family for all the elderly people in it, works with vulnerable kids and now I am immune compromised (as is her own mother)

Makes me so cross, I’ve asked her to have two LFT tests before she comes to me, but honestly ……..

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43 Replies
MrsNails profile image
MrsNails

No you are not grumpy - she is risking her family & everyone else she comes into contact with & that is grossly unfair. I’m not sure l’d be happy having her come into my home if she is not Vaccinated.

MrsN

Carriemetz profile image
Carriemetz in reply to MrsNails

So agree - there are other cleaners! Not more ‘u’s however!

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

She may be lovely (??), but she sounds extremely selfish to me - no consideration for family or clients.Like MrsNails I wouldn’t be happy coming into contact with her at all. let alone twice a week.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

She wouldn't be inside my door at all or all my doors and windows would be open and she would have to wear at least an FFP2 mask before entering. To be fair - it she who is risking her life because without vaccination even if she is young and thinks she is fit and healthy, they are the people dying at present and even vaccination doesn't stop her passing on the virus when she picks it up. But the pictures of her indulging in totally irresponsible behaviour when she has multiple vulnerable people dependent on her would have been the final straw for me.

If she is scared of the jab - she should be infinitely more scared of getting Covid. Even if it is Omicron. It is people like her who are prolonging the problems for others, And if she is ill and ends up in hospital - how does that help the rest of her responsibilites?

Pixix profile image
Pixix in reply to PMRpro

Should be like Singapore..if you end up in hospital with Covid & haven’t been vaccinated you have to pay for your hospital care!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Pixix

Been saying that for a while - why should I have to pay for the care of someone who took deliberate risks? Almost all the patients in ICU here (approximate cost £1.6K PER DAY) are non-vaccinated and ALL who die are non-vaccinated. And the peak currently is amongst 20-40 year olds ...

Pixix profile image
Pixix in reply to PMRpro

See what I mean? Countries are getting poorer, need input of money, win win situation as I’m sure some more people would then get jabbed (perhaps not the true anti vax folk, but they would be your financial support!)

bresbo profile image
bresbo in reply to Pixix

Over 80% of UK Covid intensive care patients, irrespective of vaccination status, have a Body Mass Index (BMI) over 25. The median BMI in intensive care is over 30. (The UK average is about 26). That's where a really significant risk lies. Should large people pay for their own healthcare?

Constance13 profile image
Constance13

She may have enjoyed herself tremendously but she could also have affected others (as a carrier) and even not to be here herself next year to enjoy 2023. Harsh, but true!

I dropped my podiatrist and hairdresser because they refused to be vaccinated. Better safe than sorry!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Constance13

They have to be jabbed here as far as I know.

123-go profile image
123-go

Ooh! I wouldn't be happy to have her in my home no matter how lovely she is. You are probably doing all you can to keep yourself safe in other respects. In your situation I wouldn't be compromising my health and well-being because I like someone or don't want to hurt their feelings. 😏

HappyDiamonds profile image
HappyDiamonds

I have a lovely lady that helps me and she unfortunately got Covid although vaccinated twice and due for her booster. Her test was positive the day after she came to me but luckily I didn't get it. Because I had been in contact with her I couldn't have my physiotherapy, blood tests or my face to face appointment with my Rheumy or have anyone else to help me until I was sure I hadn't got it. Nor could I have family visit. All in all it was a bit of a nightmare to be honest, so there are repercussions even if you don't actually get Covid yourself. Ironic really as I haven't been anywhere except hospital visits for 2 years yet it was brought in to my home. Nobody enters my home that hasn't been jabbed and they must wear a mask.

jinasc profile image
jinasc

My Brother who had both his vac's contracted Covid when he was staying with me. Luckily I did not get it.

Until my Brother eventually was well enough to go home (nearly 4 weeks) no-one was allowed into the house - the front and back doors had notices so callers knew Covid was in the house and to ring the doorbell. When I went to answer they were well back and I took a dettol cloth and wiped the bell and door handles. When he went the whole house was deep cleaned.

My neighbours will still not their children anywhere near me as they are all schooldchildren. The eldest has been vaccinated and the next two will be when its available.

I often want to ask - where you not immunised when you were a child?

As for Infants and Children, Aged 0-10 Years being vaccinated on time helps protect him or her against 15 vaccine-preventable diseases.

There was not 15 when I was a child and progress has been made over the years.

I would just ask the question and then say "goodbye and thank you for all you have done over the years".

There is no-one on earth I would let into my house who has not had a vaccination.

nallufl24 profile image
nallufl24

I wouldn’t want her in my home either. Since I was diagnosed I really needed and still need someone to help me clean. I was surprised at how many people who were not vaccinated. One was even my good friend and neighbor. As a result I didn’t get anyone in. I try the best I can but if things don’t get done so be it.

piglette profile image
piglette

My cleaning lady came to me before the vaccine was available, but she always wore a mask. We also kept well away from each other. She has been vaccinated thank goodness but takes a lateral flow before she comes and still wears a mask. I think if she refused to have a vaccine for non medical reasons I would think twice about having her, unless I could be well away from her. I have a good friend who is an anti vaxxer and I will only speak to her on the phone.

Blearyeyed profile image
Blearyeyed

You are not grumpy , you are right to be concerned in immunosuppressed people like ourselves this us a serious issue.You will know how transmissible Covid / Omicron is , even members of the NHS are being told they must vaccinate now. Social care workers whom work in other people's houses were among the first to be told that they had to vaccinate to protect those in their care and this included people whom went to peoples houses to clean or prepare meals.

You are her employer , even if you are close and she is also a friend , and she works in your home , the place where you should be able is feel the most safe and comfortable.

You may want to be kind and not lose her but you have the right to request her to have the vaccine for your protection and if she says she won't you have the right to let her go , either permenantly or temporarily until such time that this crisis is over.

People whom choose not to get the vaccine have the right to make these choices freely but they also need to understand that if they take this choice that they must also accept that other people have the right to refuse them entry to houses and certain public events . If they still want to remain vaccine free they need to do so accepting that this may mean they need to accept limits and make certain sacrifices to do so. If she is spending a lot of time with others in her extended family her chances of coming into contact with the virus and spreading it elsewhere is also higher.

Personally , with my immunity issues , I wouldn't continue to have people , not even my closest family , inside my home without them both having been vaccinated and having a flow test before they come.

It may be a hard phone call to have ,or email to send, but she needs to make her choice . You sound far from grumpy , actually you sound nice and kind but also like someone whom is desperate not to lose her yet also feeling under great stress because you aren't feeling comfortable with this. She may change her attitude if she knows just how much this is worrying you and upsets you. If she doesn't you may have to sadly let her go because you need to put your health first.

Good luck and let us know how things turn out.

Neck680 profile image
Neck680

Joining the chorus: : you have a right to be grumpy if that’s how you feel. Unvaccinated people are causing the rest of us tremendous pain, anger, worry, not to speak of the grief when they cause others’ illness and hardships. Our dilemma is how to talk to those who refuse vaxxes. Reason doesn’t seem to work. Telling them to believe what science and public health tell us may work for some.

Pointing out how polio is almost wiped out worldwide because of vaccines might help.

Nobody comes in my house unless they are double vaxxed - and I am beginning to ask for boosters.

My housekeeper jumped for joy when she received her first vaccine.

It seemed like a miracle to her. Such a human moment we shared. I wish all housekeepers were as careful.

I hope you find peace in your personal resolution to the issue, which so many of us share.

Lone_gardener profile image
Lone_gardener

Oh dear , silly lady , no I wouldn’t have her in my house . A firm no , it’s very selfish putting you at risk. Hope your get a new sensible cleaner xx

Louisa1840 profile image
Louisa1840

This makes me SO MAD! If it's not too hard, let her go and find another cleaner. People have to understand the only way we can beat this thing is vaccination. Good luck, we're all behind you!

PRL1957 profile image
PRL1957

Well, those responses look unanimous - you should get rid of her.

Protecting yourself from potential Covid infection is clearly important in your (immunocompromised) situation and the selfish, irresponsible actions of your cleaner are not helping. And, to be fair, it is not just her anti-vax stance (it seems the Covid vaccines reduce the severity, but do not prevent infection - or transmission), but her general attitude to how she deals to the risk (the crowded NYE party).

From the perspective of personal freedom, you have the right to exclude whoever you like from your house (with some obvious exceptions). I think I would add the cleaner to the 'persona non grata' list.

2013mayo profile image
2013mayo

Hi, It makes me so cross that people are still refusing vaccinations against covid. I’ve just discovered my window cleaner’s son is an anti vaxer, he often helps his father on his rounds. He often uses my loo when he comes here, to my horror he told me he hadn’t been vaccinated and wasn’t going to, I felt very worried by him having been in my house, after he went I cleaned my bathroom and changed all the towels as I had no idea which one he used, I also left the tea cups outside for a couple of days and then put them in the dishwasher.

Please be careful.

Suffererc profile image
Suffererc in reply to 2013mayo

Don’t have in in again and tell him why. We shouldn’t be afraid to tell anti vaxers how we feel. They are pushing it at us

AncientMariner profile image
AncientMariner

I would find another carer rapidly, many selfish ill informed people or deranged conspiracy theorists hind behind the very rights these unbalanced extremists would so rapidly deny others.

Suffererc profile image
Suffererc

She also has to accept the consequences of her actions by refusing. She sounds quite selfish in a way that she has children and cares for others and doesn’t think about what will happen to them if she becomes ill

Billiebobdog profile image
Billiebobdog in reply to Suffererc

Oh I have tried that tack and she knows she should but is scared of the vaccine and what it might do!

There is no arguement about having it that she accepts, even the GP hasn’t persuaded her

Suffererc profile image
Suffererc in reply to Billiebobdog

Then think about yourself and your family and friends. We all have to compromise including her

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Billiebobdog

And not scared of Covid and what IT might do to her? Been reading too much social media methinks ...

Kendrew profile image
Kendrew

I think you can see quite clearly from the many responses you've already received what you're being advised to do... it's good advice and the correct thing to do to protect your own health.

Your cleaning lady is entitled to her opinion and to make whatever choice she wishes....but she is not entitled to allow that choice to put others at risk.

As for infringement of human rights??.... imagine what might have happened during the 2nd World War if people had refused to wear gas masks, refused to accept food rationing, refused to send their children away to the country to complete strangers, refused to comply with the 'blackouts' etc!

Sometimes we have to do things simply because it's the right thing to do. That doesn't just refer to being vaccinated but to protecting ourselves too....the only way you can confidently do that is to release her from her cleaning duties...certainly till the current situation becomes more covid-safe.

She may not be happy but you have the human right to be safe and protected from covid!

Flivoless profile image
Flivoless

Just as it is her choice not to get vaccinated (daft as that is in her position), it is also your choice not to employ someone who hasn't been vaccinated.

borednow profile image
borednow

She needs to go. I know it's difficult but is she worth your life??!!

HalleysComet profile image
HalleysComet

My son, who had a bad reaction to his second vaccination was due to visit just after Christmas. He was reluctant to get his booster, but I pleaded with him to do so as my PMR makes me more vulnerable to infection. Good lad, he got his booster ( with no ill effects) and we had a much more relaxed visit knowing we were marginally safer.If your cleaner is so selfish as to think she is not putting your health at risk, she should be told that she can no longer come to work at your house. Never mind how close you are, or how long she has worked for you. You will be stressed every time she enters your house. Your GP will probably back you up all the way.

Good luck!

Herman99 profile image
Herman99

I am afraid I would not be continuing my working relationahip with this persin due to differing opinion on the vaccine. I would also question how stringent the person is in using LFT as there is always an associated risk factor. Adding both non vaccinated and a non friend or family member LFT testing equals high risk. Letting her go doesnt have to be confrontational it is after all a health choice for you which you are not taking lightly. The right person is out there and I wish you well in finding them.

Uglow profile image
Uglow

You can catch from vaxxed or unvaxxed

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Uglow

However - unvaxxed are more likely to infect you as their viral load is likely to be higher and last for longer, even if they have few symptoms before they become ill they are still shedding virus

Ana-16 profile image
Ana-16

Just say no thank you!

PuttyPenguin profile image
PuttyPenguin

If you're not happy, change your cleaner!

PMRnewbie2017 profile image
PMRnewbie2017

Have you read about the number of anti vaxers who have died from Covid in the past fortnight. Plus the Spanish tenor from Il Divo who died recently and was vaccinated? This mutation is not to be trifled with just because the majority of those infected don't require hospital treatment. I know of five people who have it. After 12 days they are still unwell, testing positive on LFT yet have no significant underlying health issues which could compromise their recovery. The choice is yours but I know what I would do. Stay safe.

scottygirl73 profile image
scottygirl73

Time to look for a new cleaner, one who is vaccinated.Good luck.xx

ImC_ profile image
ImC_

She does not want a vaccine in her body? That's her right. But the corona virus won't listen to her protesting her rights, it will enter her body regardless. How does she like the idea of a virus running wild through her body?

But never mind that, 3rd Feb is the last chance for official care workers (at organisations overseen by the Care Quality Commission) to get their first vaccine, in order to be fully vaccinated in time for the deadline. After that they won't be able to work in UK care homes or hospitals. She's an unofficial carer, perhaps, but the principle is the same.

rcn.org.uk/get-help/rcn-adv...

Meanwhile, she may have covid before an LFT detects it and spread it around to you and all these vulnerable people. Why should you - and me, and millions of others - jump through all these hoops whilst she carries on regardless? She is a very foolish woman.

Get another cleaner.

ImC_ profile image
ImC_ in reply to ImC_

PS - sorry, that's England, not UK wide.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

That is fairly out of date anyway now - it refers to the Delta variant - and you also need to read the codicils they express about what they tell us.

But what it DOES back up is that the UK government failed to understand and convey the fact that vaccine was only ever one arm of the protective activities that were required. Alone it could never stop the pandemic as was suggested by ministers - it could only do so in the framework of use of the non-pharmaceutical actions such as masking (with effective masks, FFP2 or FFP3, not surgical masks) and distancing. None of which actually have a major detrimental effect on the economy but do reduce the risk of mass infective events. They also failed to anticipate the fact that the immune response would wane as quickly as it did and that Delta could be replaced by a different variant - and that has been a major concern all along, particularly with the massive rates of infection that allow such a development to occur more easily.

csummerday profile image
csummerday

I don't let anyone in my house without the vaccine as I feel so strongly about it. Irresponsible and selfish with so much evidence to back it up now. Be really strong if you feel uncomfortable - there are loads of lovely cleaners!

Noosat profile image
Noosat

I am in similar position as you. My lovely cleaner has not said one way or the other about vaccination. I have decided that I must ask her status before she comes here again

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