Blurry 62 here. This post is a tad out of the ordinary. But I need you guys.
My internet is really bad. I've needed the support group and haven't been able to get on. Which made be vulnerable to looking elsewhere for a little something to help me feel better. We buried our 17 year old Yorkie three weeks ago. It left such a hole in our hearts. It was a pain that needed relief.
I did the research. I googled, "Should seniors get a dog/puppy?" I googled all variations of the question to gather insight about the decision. I researched grieving the loss of a pet. I read an abundant amount of articles and only one of them ( surely there are more out there ) said to exercise caution because of tripping hazards and the need for walks. (I need to walk and don't trip.)
I want to share that we've had a mini-Goldendoodle puppy for one week- ONE week. I am a wreak. This is not what I needed to add to my life right now. (I need rest, calm, and low stress.) It's exhausting to house train, and I have little bruises all over my arms from his puppy nips. I cry. Who am I? Who is this woman? The little bit of energy I have for quality time with my grandkids is sucked up by this, albeit cute, peeing-pooping-piranha. Hubby is scared. He wants this dog. He wants me to love the furry cutesy doggie, but honestly, I do not even like it.
Dog classes have been enrolled in. They start in 3 weeks.
I'm on 10 mg. of prednisone right now. Tapering along--
I see endocrinologist for the first time on November 24th.
My nerves are S H O T
I'm waiting--thank you
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Blurry62
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None of what you say surprises me at all - but I'm not a doggy person. I do like my daughter's rescue Podenco so I'm not THAT bad. But little itsy-bitsy puppies - far too much like hard work at our age. And you can't hand them back to mum and dad ...
I'm so sorry, Blurry62. There is a huge gap in your life with the loss of your your beloved friend and companion and of course you are grieving. The new puppy has come into your home and life so soon after your loss and cannot fill the huge gap in your heart. You may be feeling guilty that you are unable to love this newcomer?? You naturally resent the demands that this little fellow is making on you, stretching you physically and mentally and adding to your distress?? He will never replace your old pal and it will take time and great patience but gradually you will get there because he needs you and is dependent on you. I hope the next three weeks fly by until he goes to classes which hopefully will benefit you both.
Now to your husband. I hope he is sharing the responsibility for clearing up after this little fellow and allowing you some respite while he plays with him and feeds him. Tell your husband, "It's your turn now" and that you are going to have a lie down: firmly close the door! You have needs too and these must be considered.
May I ask this little terror's name? What does he like doing besides the peeing and pooing? Does he have any toys? Perhaps you could post a photograph when you feel you are are able to share.
Thank you for your kind compassionate reply. I don't think I feel guilty, but I sure wish he brought comfort with him. I know I have to give it time. Yes, He does have several toys. Hubby has stepped it up in a big way. He realizes he has to take over much of the care if the dog is going to stay.
We named the puppy Reggie. He has ben nipping a lot less over the last 24 hours. That's good.
Thank you for your reply, Blurry62. There are some heartening indications here and I've no doubt that the comfort will be along in time.Great to hear your husband is sharing some of the 'load' and that the nips are becoming fewer- they hurt!
Reggie! My friend had a Reggie: a huge, lumbering, loveable rescue dog whose parents were of unknown origin 😉! The children along the street used to stand and look at him peering out from the window and wave to him 😂😂.
Good Morning. I wanted to share an update to this post with you. Reggie, the puppy, is now 7 months old and we are all doing very well. He HAS settled down and is a such a lovely companion. It took 6 months for him to sleep through the night and that helped tremendously. He is loving and has loads of intelligence and personality. I am very glad I have him ! That says it all.
Blurry, About 12 years ago (when I hadn't even heard of pmr... ) we acquired a tiny kitten, as our dear kind very old cat had died and the other surviving cat was pining.
When we brought this kitten home, I thought omg, what have we done. She seemed completely feral, she bit, scratched, wouldn't be touched, and the other cat was hostile to her. We had never had a pet that was like that.
It took about 48 hours for her to settle in, and become a much loved, fine, rewarding pet ( and still is). I appreciate your little dog may take a bit longer but the company and solace of a pet is wonderful.
Not sure what you are wanting, a puppy is just like any young creature needs time and patience
We have 5 dogs between 2 yrs and 12yrs and I am a similar age to you
So here is my advice
Do you have a crate or a pen for this little monster you have just taken into your family? If you do then use it, if you don’t then get one. It acts as a safe place for the puppy, a play area and a rest area
Puppies needing training, they need to learn the rules, they need to rest but like any young child they get worse the more tired they get so they need time out (so do you)
A Goldendoodle is a combination of two working breeds, both very active and both very intelligent so it will be teaching you all the time if you don’t teach it how to behave
It will come good, very quickly but at the moment it is overwhelming, especially if you are not feeling 100%
Please message me if you want to, it is always a big shock when you get a new puppy and can be very hard at the beginning
I do have a crate. He sleeps in it at night very well actually. As you say, it was all a shock. We are reasonably intelligent people who love having a dog., but In hindsight, we just didn't REMEMBER what it was like caring for a puppy. We just rushed head-long into the situation to help ease our grief.
Morning Blurry62, as already mentioned you have a cross between two active and intelligent breeds and like children you need to boundaries into place. You are also still grieving over the loss of your Yorkie and part of you is probably resenting the arrival of this bundle of fur that doesn't do or understand what is expected of him/her. Once these boundaries become established and enforced they will very quickly pick up on expected behaviour and routines. Our present Border Collie arrived with a cage which she loved and it was her go to safe place and somewhere she could stay in when both she and us needed quiet?? time. Patience and understanding and the same rules being followed by all members of the family will hopefully bring quick results and allow you to enjoy this new member of the family who is totally reliant upon you. Being able to get out and walk the dogs is one of the things that has helped to keep me active and sane, particularly during the earlier stages of this pandemic. If you want to chat at any time please feel free to message me.
Hi, puppies are exhausting, but this is an intelligent breed that will learn in a v different way from a terrier ( and I love terriers, I'm not dissing them ! ) . I think, especially since Internet is intermittent , maybe reaching out to the local dog community might help, dog people are wonderful. If you can't find Doodle owners, are there any Goldie or Poodle people, or even Spaniels, or just anyone who a) loves dogs and b) understands pups. If you don't know local people, hang in that 3 weeks till classes start, there will be good people there. And when you do get online, find a good Doodle behaviour gp, maybe on Facebook, to help. Good luck.
I absolutely agree with you about the huge amount of energy required to rear a puppy. Our 70 year old women friends got a darling puppy, runt of the litter, should be 35 lbs tops. Well, dog is now 75 lbs, galloping slobbering and basically owning the house and lives of these two.I love dogs, have two of my own, but have always gotten rescue adult dogs. Potty trained, socialized, lower energy when past puppy stage, etc., etc.
Lab doodles are such fun, crazed , silly goofballs....who own the house and all your time till they get older... methinks the combination is wrong...labdoodles belong in home with human "littles" who are also galloping, slobbering, whirlwinds until they grow up.
I hear ya. Grandkids are next door and planning on getting a Golden Retriever puppy in four weeks. Im hoping Reggie will have a friend to wear him out.
We have already 34 years dogs. Until 3 years ago we had beautiful Clumber Spaniels as of the age of 6-8 weeks. When the last one 8 years old suddenly got an hernia and was completely paralyzed after 4 days so we let him go we decided that when you are 70 or more a puppy isn't the best idea anymore. Moreover I need my daily walks to fight my PMR and so we decided to adopt a stray dog from Spain, a pointer of 1 year old, already educated. He is lovely, calm, accompanies us everywhere, needs us and we need him. The organisation is very thrustworthy and the dog is marvellous.
Though you do have to be careful wi th rescues - my daughter has had 3 Spanish Podencos, lovely lovely dogs once they have settled down but so delicate at first, you really must be experienced to sort them out at first and that was hard work. My niece also got a Romanian street dog just before xmas last year - wonderful now but the first couple of months were very very hard with him as he was terrified of his own shadow ...
For a while, I was a foster dog mom, taking new rescued dogs and assessing personality, temperament, training, etc. After a month of handling each dog, I then matched each dog to new home. The ones I loved most were senior dogs, who had been relinquished for variety of reasons, but who made terrific pets in their new homes...and, without challenges of potty training , teething chewing, or needing first socialization.At the end of my time with my rescue agency, I became a "foster failure"😁🤣when I fell in love with a bonded pair of 10 year old dachshunds, one male, one female. I adopted both. Never a regret, and plenty of joyful unconditional love.
Oh, I almost forgot, I absolutely believe in crate training for dogs. It gives the dog their own "safe place=den", as well as assures you s/he has a safe place to be in the event you leave her home. When I go out, my dogs race to their crate, knowing a special treat will be there for them, and they happily munch their Kong treat as I leave. I also leave a radio or t.v. on, to block outside noises for the dogs, and to keep normal sounds in the house for them.
The crate has also been a lifesaver when grandkids were toddlers...gave the dogs a safe place, where hooman little could not get them.
Good luck with your dog, explore ways to make the situation easier for you and your new pet.
Peanut butter, carrot sticks, non rawhide chew sticks, etc. all make great fillers for Kong's. My other fav are Bully Sticks, (google/Amazon for info and to purchase) the bully sticks are tough, last long time, and dogs not as likely to swallow huge chunks of chemical laden shoe leather.
we were uncomfortable with the rescue route because my daughter and her family tried 3 different adoptions. The dogs had too many issues to deal with. My sister adopted an older abused dog. She hasn't given up on him by a long shot, but it's very stressful for the family.Plain and simple, I forgot what having a puppy entailed.
I would say that wasn't either the dog or your daughter's "fault" - really good adoption agencies match dog and family very carefully. And rehomes from families who have a good reason not to be able to keep their pet (death, illness, moving) are very different from most rescues.
It’s terrible when one’s dog dies. After our last we said we would wait a good number of months to save money and get our life back in terms of freedom. We lasted 4 weeks before we rescued 5 month old Rory, a mixture of a guarding breed and something with short legs. We then got him a friend three months later 🙄. Why? 🤷🏻♀️. Marco is neurotic, a mix of working dog, terrier and sight hound. Nightmare but wouldn’t be without them. You’ve had lots of good tips. My Advice if you’ve got a live wire? Training, training, Training and keep it up. A good trainer will tell you how to wear it out while you sit on the sofa too. I liked crates too, so did they. Try to share the burden but remember they do grow up and it won’t always be like this.
This is going to sound harsh. Not the time for a new puppy it’s like a baby. I couldn’t cope. I love dogs but i know how demanding. I’d have to rehome it would bu way to much for me. Maybe your hubby don’t understand the impact of pmr. I hope you resolve you don’t need setbacks. Time to have the conversation. Good luck.
Others have given good advice, it will get better, but not overnight If hubby is so enamoured with new puppy, perhaps he should be doing more to help with it…sounds as if it’s too much for you..but is he actually aware of that?
Three years ago my much loved spaniel had to be put to sleep. Ghastly decision as always. After a few months I started looking for a suitable rescue dog and then suddenly a puppy almost literally fell into my lap. Against my better judgement I said yes. Oh wow! I was 79 and out of my mind. As others have said - a crate and a playpen were lifesavers. We went to puppy training too, and found practising the training good for tiring him out. Also devised games I could play sitting down!
And best of all found a lovely dog walker who still has him one day a week - they adore one another so I never feel guilty and it allows me time to do whatever I want (from dentist to gallery visits) without worry. This has been the real lifesaver!
Remember - he will grow up! And be the source of joy you hoped for. Good luck.
Hi Blurry. So sorry to hear about your little yorkie but I did smile when I read your post. I'm a great dog-lover but because my husband isn't, we don't have a dog. However...when I was a dog owner I met another dog-owner who had fibromyalgia and the reason she got herself a little puppy was to ensure that her muscles didn't get weak. She's now on her forth dog - I met her about 30 years ago - and it has worked. My stepdaughter, who also has fibro and refuses point-blank to do any exercises, uses crutches and has a wheelchair whilst my friend now 66 has a three storey town house and walks the small dog twice a day.
I think you may have been a bit ambitious with getting a puppy however, she will calm down (is she part golden retriever, they are quite dopey when they get older and my 88 year old neighbour walks her retriever everyday). Remember you will, one day, have better health and that naughty little puppy will become your much-loved, dopey companion.
My advice would be to look at the long-term benefits, not just with health but with all the friends you make when you have a dog. Wishing you the best x
Why get a puppy. I could not handle one with all the training etc., but I would not give up my Lily for anything. I got her at 2 yrs old from shelter, fully trained etc.
Forgot to say before Lily, I had had Dobermans, however, she is a mix, which I found after I had adopted her is now being bred. She is bordercollie, for intelligence and Labrador for laid back personality. She is perfect example. The are called Borodors. I was looking for a dog which liked people, cats and other dogs. She fit the bill perfectly. Gentle, extremely smart and bonds closely. The reason I did not rescue another Dobermans is to please my daughter who wanted me to get a smaller dog. Lil is 50lb, instead of 72lb.
We love dogs & thought of getting one, but my health is just not good enough & I get tired easily...plus neither of us are young! Our neighbours got a puppy, & now we borrow her to go out if I feel like it, & we go up to the forest (we live in a forest National park). If they go out for the day we have first chance of having her, & we have her here for a weekend right now. But they have a dog sitter who she can go to, too. So we are under no pressure to have her. BUT it’s truly tiring, it really is...& there’s two of us! I know I couldn’t manage one full time, & it wouldn’t be fair to the dog, either. I enclose a photo..right now we are eating our supper & she's laid out in the floor..But we’ve walked over two hours in the forest, spent 40 minutes this afternoon throwing balls round the garden, another 30 minute walk in the park, & played with a squeaky hedgehog! We see her most days, which is a dream, but get to hand her back! Over here in England there is a place you can register to walk dogs from time to time, & charities need help, too. I think a part time dog is a wonderful answer....just my thoughts & how I’m finding it looking after a puppy!! Part time!! The breeders would take back your puppy, probably, & re-home her. Our last dog lived until 18 years old, so I understand the heartache, too. Just my thoughts...Crumble, our part time dog is now 13 months, but has as much energy, is very mischievous, & has all my heart, & she knows it!! Good luck, it’s a hard time for you. S x
We have a 6 year old mini labradoodle. She is very active and craves attention. But Blurry62, I have never had a dog as wonderful as my Lucie. She is loving, affectionate, intelligent and the best dog I have ever had. Crate your pup and be patient. It will be worth it. Good luck.
You know, even my dog loving daughter in law who recently had to have her aged rescue mix put down said she is not interested in the work of raising a young puppy. As a cat lover, I say kittens are cute, but not in my house. Give me a two year old pet to start!
oh! I feel your pain. It was soon.. the hole your other sweet pup left in your heart won't fill but your having to race around after this new comer will certainly keep you busy. It will all fall into place eventually!!! and you will love again. After our dog died we got 2!!! 2 year old sisters who were crazy mutts and I thought WHAT WAS I THINKING and did NOT love them...but lo and behold it happened. Time, alas, it is always time. As with PMR we must be patient but carry on!! Good luck. Hand off most of the puppy duties to your husband!
Hi there...just a suggestion...in the USA, do they have dog trainers who come to the home and guide you? Or even take the dog , train it and return ....might be worth a try...Good luck.
He starts training Dec 2nd.I am in the USA also. It has occurred to me to pay someone to do it for me, but I'm going to see how long my husbands dedication lasts before going that route.
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