Edited to add some examples I've just read in another book. They say keeping a gratitude diary - every day writing down 3 things for which you are grateful - is a good thing especially in stressful times and when dealing with L-T illness as we do. I'm going back to doing mine having let it slip for a while. Like mindfulness, you need to do it regularly. Top of mine would be having this forum to turn to and all the help I've been given over the years. And a lovely text message I just got from a friend. Lovely big park just over the road with gorgeous Autumn tree vistas. What would you put in yours today? Studies show gratitude really works to create new positive neural synaptic pathways, which can help keep you happier and younger. It's worth a try innit?
EDITED to add examples:
basic necessities in life that you're grateful for
favourite memories, from childhood, pets, old friends etc
beauty in your immediate environment
what do you feel happy about having accomplished in your life?
what makes life easier?
best things that happened this week, month year etc
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tangocharlie
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I started just for heavy stuff long time ago when hubby was ill - and of course last couple of years through my joint replacements.
Have to say I haven’t been into a proper supermarket since Feb this year (shoulder then you know what). Have used local shop once a week or so and Waitrose mini shop twice.
I was decidely underwhelmed when I could shop there in Durham - they never had what I had gone for and unless you spent over £30 you had to pay £2 minimum charge to park. Then last UK visit we went to Waitrose to get the last minute stuff to discover (again) empty shelves, staff who didn't know what they were selling and Tetley t-bags were well over 50% more expensive than Asda for the same size pack (also not my favourite store but t-bags are t-bags!!!)
They are now realising they are overpriced on some items, so a bit of progress... I do like some if their own label, so I mix and match with them and Sainsbury’s.
I alternate between them and Morrisons to keep within budget. But Waitrose does stock my favourite Cranks bread and good yogurt ice cream - and their drivers are masked and gloved .
Waitrose Drivers always very helpful - have to say that’s where some of Sainsbury’s drivers fall down. The young lad today really wasn’t very interested initially until I cracked a few jokes - did get a “have a good day” when he left! So some progress I guess 😉
I use tesco in the week as I know where everything is and Waitrose on a Sunday for their no. 6 strong cheese and bits and bobs and don't have to fiddle with a parking ticket as parking is free!! 👍👏
I hate Tesco and everything they stand for, a totally corrupt company IMO. I particularly hate their dirty tricks, mis-pricing things to try and con us. For example a pkt of butter I regulary buy has always been £1.80. recently it went up to £2.40 only for it then to be on offer at 2 for £4! I could give so many examples, like hiding expensive wine amongst a load on special offer and hoping you don't notice you were charged £12 for it, not £7 because you didn't read the tiny tiny label under that particular wine. I had to buy some marzipan for the Christmas cake there as it is sold out everywhere else. It was 2 months out of date! I know all supermarkets do the same dirty tricks but Tesco seem to be the worst. Have your wits about you when you go in there!
Yes you are absolutely right. My hubby will only shop at the small village store to keep the little shopkeepers going but can't get everything and very expensive. He loathes supermarkets.
I alternate between Waitrose and Iceland. I found Iceland through a recommendation here. Thanks! Iceland here |(near London UK) have many available slots and often amazingly low prices, though their variety and quality varies. I shopped at Waitrose in the olden days, so know and love many of their products. They came top of a Which supermarket comparison a few days ago. It's hard to bag a delivery slot with them though. And their prices, though going down, are higher.
I love Iceland as a brand, especially their stance against palm oil. Their brilliant 'There's a Rang tang in my bedroom' advert last chistmas spurred me to use them.
I do have one, but battled to get on the vunerable list with them for months, they have since apologised and I have had one delivery....can`t afford it every time though.....have had vouchers, spending £60 gets £12 off, can easily spend that in there.....more offers now though, all competing much more .....
In a mindfulness class we once had to reflect on the process of making a cup of tea, from the person who picked the leaves at dawn, the clean fresh water we can draw from a tap to make it, to us being able to make a cuppa at home when we want. Defo something to be grateful for
Mine is having 2 emails, one from a friend I hadn’t heard from for a while and the other from my line manager.. also having come home from work I am now enjoying some me time while my husband is out
Years ago I read that one should fall asleep in a state of grace. That very same day I read that the last thought you had at night should be to think of something for which you were grateful, which kind of answered the question of how to fall asleep in a state of grace.
The three things top of my grateful list today are:
1. Receiving the wonderful news my niece does NOT have breast cancer. Oh the relief is immeasurable!👍👍👍
2. Speaking to my son, who is in his third year at uni and is coping well with his dissertation. (He has dyslexia, so was dreading the dissertation). He has chosen his focus well which relies much on ' interviewing' for his research. When I asked how he is coping with the written aspect he reported that his initial feedback included lecturers were 'enjoying his writing'! I could see and hear how this feedback has boosted his confidence and self belief!🦚🦚🦚
3. Eating the pie my husband and I made at a pie making course at the infamous Melton Mowbray. (Workshop attended Sunday was unspent Christmas present for OH from last year!) Gorgeous! Can't move now, full, cosy and warm.🙈🙈🙈
What more could a girl want 😁😁😁
1) Knowing that I will see my son on Sunday albeit at the nature reserve (going into Tier 3 midnight Friday) complete with flask and Jaffa cakes.
2) Being able to see my mum on Skype now that she has a tablet and has been introduced to the tinterweb, bless her.
3) Having had to cancel all of my birthday plans for next week (big girl 50) but knowing that all of family, friends and colleagues are safe and well, and that it is what it is! 🙂
Just for today, live in the moment as no one knows when the end will come. I am grateful for my very wonderful husband who loves me just as much now as when I was 15! My fluffy Ginger puss who treats me with disdain but then suddenly comes up for a cuddle for no apparent reason. I am also grateful to Hello Fresh whom I have just discovered this last week, enjoying someone else doing the shop for a change
I too agree with you, so important. I love putting my head out of the window to breathe in the air outside and even light rain on my face, my morning exercises for my back, and for oiling my joints and breathing, I feel like a different person every time I complete the rounds, but I hate starting (Oh no, this again today? I'm too tired / unwell/ all the excuses); but I start with the relaxed floor positions and gradually work up to a mini-sweat. The treat is a cup of filtered Tarrazu coffee with oaty milk in it. Then I'm good. Love walking outside but the rain is putting a damper on much of that. Love to you and thanks for your posts tangocharlie
'rain putting a damper on that' LOL I have great intentions of doing a bit of yoga veryday and it does me good if I do, but like you I hate starting. Somehow I need to make it a routine and not think about it, just do it! Thanks for the reminder
I was told long ago that it takes 21 days to learn a new habit, so it is always a struggle to instill something new into one's day, especially if it involves excercise when one is tired or like me, grumpy. So I need a treat to aim for - the coffee. Some days I cheat and have the coffee first or not at all, but I do seem to manage now to get -a minimum - of four full routines in in the week, and sometimes 6 - I never do it on Sundays. It is hard to get the routine without someone directing me but now I've learned it. I wish I was there to do it with you.
My yoga teacher sent us a link to a video of an armchair yoga session, which I have also yet to try. I think it woud do me good to do it in the evenings to start to wind down.
No group but I have a friend who swims so tagged along. Now have joined a couple of Facebook groups so I can arrange to swim when there's other around. It REALLY helps the pain if I'm having a tough week.
If you're on FB search for FLOWS - fabulous Leeds open water swimming as they might well get around your area although they have just posted that now we are in tier 3 there are no meetings to be organised.
Thanks, I'll do that but not until spring. I love swimming in lakes in Austria etc but not sure about Yorkshire. It does seem to help with all sorts of conditions though, a friend has cured her anxiety and depression by taking up wild swimming
My husband - for allowing me to warm my feet on him on cold winter mornings when I returned to bed, having taken my pills. My lovely son. - for tackling the ironing for me and he normally does not iron anything and my truly wonderful neighbour for looking after me when my husband and son went on holiday, I was too ill to go but so wanted them to have a break.
I kept a gratitude journal when I suffered from workplace PTSD and found it very helpful. We also used to host “gratitude circles” for some of our client populations, who particularly struggled during the Christmas holiday season.
I’m grateful for:
1) my two sweet twin grandsons that I’m off to babysit this morning
2) my deep water exercise classes every week that help keep my muscles and joints limber and stretched, and how they help me sleep better
3) my amazing OH who makes me laugh (or at least smile) everyday.
1. The beautiful meadow and river opposite my front door that's lifted my spirits every day during my walk with its abundance of wildlife....even in the rain!
2. Meeting a special friend this morning for a socially distanced cuppa and catchup in an outdoor cafe.......with a heater!!
3. All the help and advice on this site that has led to me completing 7wks back at work in school, without requiring any time off sick. Half term week now. Back on Monday and can't wait.
I suffer from a wide variety of chronic pain. I read an article that stated that endorphins help to relieve pain. And it recommended doing random acts of kindness which increases endorphins. I try to do something everyday and it does help. Although I feel a little selfish about it, since I'm doing it for my own benefit. 😊
I've just been reading about random acts of kindness in 'The book of lykke' (which means happiness in Danish, the follow up to the book of hygge). It gave me ideas like giving genuine compliments and thanking people, telling people why you are grateful about things they do for you and the effect it had, writing to someone who has been kind to you in the past and thanking them, putting books in the free libraries that have sprung up everywhere, picking up litter (with a picker). I thanked a bus driver for considerately letting me sit down before setting off and although he tried to shrug it off, I could see he smiled. I got an email round Robin from a Hotel I stayed in years ago and wrote back saying I still had such happy memories of that holiday. Spreading joy is good and takes seconds or minutes.
Today: a really meaningful talk with my son about his thoughts, feelings and fears. How to achieve that delicate balance between privacy and connectedness between us.
Technology which means I can say 'I love you' to my New Zealand family face to face and my other peripatetic daughter when she is not on one her frequent visits to me.
I absolutely love these ideas. I like to think I'm grateful for many things and hope people consider me a kind person, but to consciously sit and contemplate the things each day that I feel grateful for, and to deliberately carry out a pre-determined act of kindness each day, has to be one of the best ways to shift the focus away from all the 'negatives' in life..... and often it can be so easy to dwell on those! Since I read all this, I've resolved to engage in doing this daily.
Such a small thing to do with such a massive positive impact. Thankyou
Glad it helped, these things work for me but I have to remember to do it every day. I did 2 random acts of kindness today too, rang two old frends for a good long natter, and sent 2 'thank yous' to people. You reap what you sow as they say in Yorkshire
Absolutely correct......and I should know....I'm a Yorkshire lass through and through, born and bred in Yorkshire, as is my husband. Are you a Yorkshire gal??
Now then, w'ant born 'ere but been here on and off since the 70s and a happy Leeds lass nowadays. Are you in the Yorkshire support group? if not write to ilkley@pmrgca.org.uk to get on the mailing list
Haha!.....now ere's the thing! I'm actually from Leeds too...lived near Moortown, and my husband is from Richmond in north Yorkshire, but I've actually lived near colchester in essex for the past 30yrs because of hubby's job. We both miss Yorkshire and visit family and friends regularly (when covid allows!!) and will probably retire back up there in a few years time.
It really doesn't have to be a gesture of massive proportion does it. I texted a friend who's wife died just after new year. She was my first and longest standing friend. We were best friends from being 4½yrs old and I miss her so much. Her husband is finding it tough at the moment and I text him every day....as does my husband.....and hes said what a difference it makes. That in turn makes me happy.
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My PMR has apparently \"morphed\" 
Finally it's been Disgnosed as PMR even tho I'm \"too young\" 
Have a wonderful holiday and bye-bye 2020~!
Another big thank you for help received
