Reading the responses to my recent posts made me realise many of us are finding life/January difficult. So I thoght I'd share something that I found, printed out and have had on my fridge door for years.
I might not do every one of them every day but I've tried to develop habits and routines that cover most of them. And if my mood takes a dip I quickly do one or more of them. Unfortunately I can't credit the original author as I didn't include it when I copied and pasted it and I can't find the article on the internet now, although there are many similar ones if you Google. *Edit* the Google sleuth PMRPro found the original source, see her post below
So here's 9 things or tips or hacks as they call them these days:
1. List five things for which you are grateful – big or small
"For example I live in a country where there’s easy access to clean, running water; I can read and write; it was good to see the shop assistant’s smile this morning; I just caught the post with my urgent letter. Doing this every week for ten weeks has a real effect: research has shown that this practice results in lasting, measurable increases in wellbeing, as it gets us into the habit of seeing our life through a positive lens."
2. Give stuff away
"Creating space by de-cluttering relieves stress and gives us a feeling of lightness; giving away possessions, donating them to charity, rather than selling them, is a form of generosity and being generous makes us feel good. Look through your belongings and get rid of things that you just don’t use."
3. Go for a walk in woods or fields, or visit your local park
"Time spent in green surroundings has been shown time and again to be calming and restorative. Even a green view is beneficial. If you can’t see any trees or shrubs from your window buy some plants for indoors."
4. Invite someone to tea
"Or offer to help your neighbour with their garden, leaking pipe, shopping, etc.; take up regular voluntary work. Social connectedness, a sense of community, feeling needed, and making a positive difference in the world all contribute a great deal to our own satisfaction with life."
5. Get stuck into something
"Active engagement is a major factor in personal wellbeing and if you really enjoy your chosen activity and it stretches you a bit you will lose yourself in it and experience a wonderful sense of “flow”, forgetting about yourself in solo endeavours and feeling closer ties to others in collaborative ones."
6. Fix a time and ring a friend for a good long chat
"People who have a number of friends with whom they can discuss things that are important to them are much happier than those who can’t or don’t. Having cordial relationships, whether with family, friends, neighbours, colleagues or fleeting acquaintances, is fundamental to personal wellbeing."
7. Be playful
"Playfulness brings new possibilities, creativity, practical solutions, aesthetic pleasure, interest, new skills and achievement."
8. Take charge
"Make a decision or take an action you have been putting off. Feeling in control of one’s life and being proactive is important for subjective wellbeing."
9. Get physical
"Physical activity gets us out of our heads and generates endorphins which make us feel good; dig the garden, cycle, walk or dance."
Written by
tangocharlie
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Just what I needed - thank you. I'd already decided to give things away - I realise that there are so many things in our garage which are only there as an obligation to family past that they are weighing me down - I should know this as a Feng Shui practitioner but had been trying to ignore it! As soon as the weather warms a bit (tomorrow I think) I shall get out there on my perching stool (knee replacement) and make a start.
I can't do everything on the list but 'getting stuck into something' is now an option as my fuzzy operation brain is giving way and I've had coherent thought for several days together now - so time to pick up the drawing implements and possibly the paints! Why not? I can, at least, give it a go.
This is a good beginning for me - there may be many of us unable to 'get physical' at this particular moment but we can at least take on board a couple of the other suggestions, so thanks for the wisdom!
Drawing ticks the 'Get playful' box too! To me 'get physical' can be as simple as some gentle stretches or walking to the kitchen to put the kettle on for a cuppa, it doesn't mean you need to go for a run, there is always something you can do, any movement is good according to the Podcast I mention in one of my earlier posts. I'm trying to have a clear-out and give things away. I've got so many books and so many of them were for work or studies that I will never need again, yet it is so hard to part with things. I thought about buying Marie Kondo's book but decided it was not something beautiful or yet something else I needed in the house. 😀
Oh, yes, point taken. If I can get on the exercise bike (almost possible), or walk from the car to the coffee shop then that can count as physical! During my Feng Shui days in order to keep something it had to be either useful, beautiful or something that you truly loved. That enabled me to part with a number of cookery books (what a relief that was). I still retain study books but I do refer to them, so I suppose still useful. Now I've rejoined the library and find that a real boon - no need to store the books I want to read!!
I've just looked up chair yoga and am at the stage where I might be able to venture on to the floor so who knows??
Glad you posted this as I'm sure it's given all of us something positive to focus on - and I noticed the evening did not pull in quite so fast tonight - so we are on the right track!!
I do armchair yoga, or the bits of it I can do anyway. Here's a link to my yogis back catalogue of classes vimeo.com/showcase/8340275
BTW I've just seen something on Facebook that made me laugh 'Its amazing how much sorting and tidying you can do when faced with the prospect of someone coming round'
Thanks for the link. Also, it's amazing how much the thought of moving house can galvanise you - the thought of prospective buyers viewing your detritus!
If it's red wine that's good for you isn't it? Prosecco is my tipple on occasion. Happy times spent with others - for me life doesn't get much better than that
Edward de Bono said happiness is not sustainable and we should aim for contentment. Something to think about! (I'm all for happiness whenever possible though...)
Thank you for that. I see you are in the UK where it is dark and cold but I actually find this time of year in Australia difficult. My family are in UK but I have step children and grandchildren here, whom I do not see at Christmas, and this is a time for family. I am also out of my routine which I don't like! At least the weather is lovely.
Is it a cop out to say that now I don't have to go to work, I find that January is a good excuse to stay in the warm and sleep a lot, so I don't mind it too much now.
On second thoughts, I had another look at the list and I think that I am doing quite a lot of those things already, so maybe that is why I feel fairly content atm. Though I've been feeling a bit guilty about not getting outdoors enough, and so I've just given myself permission to be thankful that I can stay indoors in the warm until the weather improves if I want to. I swim when I have the energy and I go to my craft club once a week for a good old natter. And I've just joined a yoga group. Decluttering is an ongoing project of mine and that's something that is better done now so that I can be outside enjoying my garden in the warmer weather. Plus, I've just discovered a new handcraft stitching hobby that I feel inspired by and want to get stuck into. I'm going out to buy a few supplies after I have been to my yoga group this morning. Oh, and I go to the occasional live music gig. Music gives me more joy than anything.
Thank you for this tangocharlie. I would add to this list uplifting music and humour. Also connecting with a group like this where people share the ups and the downs and are human unlike some of the people on facebook who seem to live perfect lives! After listening to Michael Mosely and the article on inflammation and slowing down the aging process- the concept of moving every hour rather than sitting still for several hours. I invested in a chiming mantel clock to remind me its time to get a cuppa or whatever .A friend said she had a similar clock but got rid of it as it kept reminding her that was another hour of her life gone! 🤣
My ticking clock was in the kitchen of my flat amd I always had to make sure the kitchen door was dully closed at night or the ticking noise would stop me sleeping. I've now got a silent one that was a Christmas present that says 'Jesus would you look at the time" which will probably offend any religious visotors but hey ho, it makes me laugh and it's my flat. I've always craved a OTT cuckoo clock as I like kitsch but I know it would be a bad idea 😆
Thank-you Tangocharlie, really appreciated those 9 things, things we think about but sometimes don’t get around to doing. I’m taking your advice immediately to say thank-you, it was a lovely way to start my 51st wedding anniversary which can be a bit of a let down after “ our golden year”
I am doing most of those, & I’m not finding January hard at all. In fact, for me, it’s racing by too fast! Spent the day in the forest yesterday, had a carnic (that’s a picnic in the car with the sun streaming in & blankets on knees if necessary!) Haven’t finished clearing the spare bedroom yet, though. I’d add something I spend a lot of January doing…planning holidays, researching areas to visit, giving you things to get used to! Plan something you fancy,mit can be a family get together, travel, bucket list, anything! S x
I usually enjoy doing all those things in January too but have been thrown of course by various events and health issues. Ah well, February is the new January 😀
absolutely! I have raging toothache, which isn’t helping january be nice, & we have two vehicles in for MOT & Service this week. Not much fun, lots of chores. But booked a holiday for June. Hope you had a great birthday! S x
There's a perverse part of me that quite likes January. Not that keen on the dark but it does mean I tackle a lot of the clearing/sorting of 'stuff' that has gone into various corners throughout the rest of the year. I tend to have a 'that may come in useful' approach which can have it's downsides!
I like Januaary too, I get a burst of energy and to celebrate my birthday. I'm struggling with the de-cluttering. I've got bags for recyclling, bags of confidential stuff I need to find someone to burn, things for hte charity shop, things I ought to sell so they get to the right people, things that might come in handy, things I need someone to take to the tip or recycling .... I am a bag lady atm
I brought a large case of old paperwork into the living from the spare room. Some for shredding and some to go straight to recycling. As a bit of a hoarder I find doing sorting a bit at time less over whelming. Some pieces of paper were 15 years old and took me straight back to that time.😄
Singing out loud really works for me, the cheesier the better, the louder the better (if you can get away with it) my pets think I’m nuts! Dance around the kitchen or slightly wiggle if your PMR is making you creaky.
I'm now 73, but I still remember when I was nine years old, and started in Miss Jarmey's class at Junior School. She used to teach the top 3rd year class and the top 4th year class side by side in the same room. So she had 60 children in front of her all day. She also guaranteed to the parents of all her children that she'd get them all through the 11+ with at least a pass grade. She did too, and nearly all her children ended up in either grammar school, or one of the top schools in Bristol.
As I was a newby in the 3rd year I noticed that after she'd given us work to do she'd chat to the 4th years on the other side of the room, and often we'd end up learning things that would stand us in good stead for our 11+ when we became 4th years the following year.
However, I digress. I distinctly remember her telling us about some of her friends, none of whom were spring chickens. Miss Jarmey herself was in her 50's when I was taught by her in 1960 and 61.
One of her friends used to get out of bed each morning and go and sit in a bath full of stone cold water to start her day!!!!
Another of them was in her 80's, but kept herself young by starting a new project every 2 years. Apparently throwing herself fully into whatever pastime she chose meant that her brain was always active, and it had a beneficial knock on effect on her physical as well as mental wellbeing.
So I can see where the person with the 9 life hacks is coming from. Immersing yourself, whether in stone cold baths, or a new pastime every 2 years, can indeed help to keep the dreaded aging at bay.
How lucky were you to have such a teacher. My Miss Jinks told me I was only fit to be a dustman. Made me sit my 11+ twice when she couldn't believe the result. Told me I had cheated/ Was 137/140 . Went to grammar school but teachers there were also bullies. Before the age of teacher training. Mortar board and gown types. Lucky though to have Ruma Godden the novelist for english and Mr Hill-Smith for woodwork. They saved me from self destruct.
That’s a great list of nine things. I’m trying to do them more consciously this year (a sort of NY resolution) and recording three things every day on an app (called Three Good Things). I’d heard that if you do something for 60 days it becomes a habit.
The other thing I try to do in this age when many appear self centred and rude is to realise that something may have happened in their life/this morning or week, they may have had some bad news or whatever. That can stop me responding in a like manner towards them and I stay calmer and less stressed.
Of course some people are and always will be pig headed idiots without a brain cell. But it still isn’t necessarily their fault.
Another podcast with Michale Mosley and Dr Rangun Chatterjee mentions about the re-framing idea eg if someone cuts you up in trafic, think maybe they're having a hard day. I think he called it re-framing your thoughts
Very good! Taking charge particularly important in my view. I've been feeling a bit down and decided to make some decisions, chase other people up to make those affecting me and made a priority list for the rest.
And I know it's carbs, so don't tell me off, but making home-made scones (jam and cream optional 😆) to join the cuppa can be fun in the making and most visitors are even more delighted! I'll definitely put a tea invite out there again - good reminder.
Thank You! Much needed reminder for me and probably many others. I had to cancel my Dexa Scan appointment as I was in hospital getting emergency surgery following a fall and a hip fracture. Easy to get down in that situation! I am home again now and this list will help with my mood and recovery. I know it works as I have taken similar action in the past, but it was a timely reminder. Again, thank you.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery, and yes, keep moving. My yoga teacher had two hip replacements last year but is now back teaching and dancing, she's one of my inspirations
Taking a daily walk in the fresh air is my recipe for staying happy. When it rains and I can’t get out, I paint, but it doesn’t quite do the same thing. I couple it with volunteer dog walking, plugged into a drama on BBC sounds and I’m away. Yoga on Monday sets me up for the week and working in the local charity shop on Wednesday stops the rot setting in! So that takes care of quite a few off the list. The thing I’m really bad at is staying in touch with friends. I’m lucky in that I have a friend who acts as my social secretary; if it wasn’t for her I’d easily lose touch. Going to make it my goal this year to put that right. Thank you for the list - it needs reading often!
My list is on the fridge door. If I feel my mood as taken a dip or I'm ranting and getting angry with the world I go and do somethng on there. I love your ideas even though personally I don't do pets. I tried volunteeering in a charity shop but my back couldn't cope with the standing and shelf stocking etc so am finding other wasy to volunteer for things now, like for the PMRGCAuk charity
An attitude of gratitude can work wonders. Here are some things I remind myself of when I'm down or anxious - "Nothing bad happened today...". I'm so grateful for hot, running water, a warm, safe, clean place to sleep every night, clean water to drink every day, a choice of what I will have for dinner, electricity, excellent medical care, modern dentistry, I'm not forced to emigrate from a dictatorial , third-world country. Thanks for your reminder...
A rather late addition to this thread - it feels like January in this cold wind but on a walk this week, the lapwings were burbling, I saw a hare, heard the curlew, the snow on the tops looked wonderful in the sun and some lambs are almost at the wacky races stage. Given that I felt rubbish when I set off, it all helped to restore a bit of equilibrium
Getting out is definitely restorative and lucky you with all that nature. At lest I have a park just over he road and I've heard a rumour that the gorgeous mandarin ducks are back on hte lake so will get out there this afternoon with my big camera.
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