Stuck for Words: Isn't it funny how even the most... - PMRGCAuk

PMRGCAuk
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Stuck for Words

43tripandskip
43tripandskip
44 Replies

Isn't it funny how even the most well-meaning of people can say daft things about weight loss?

I'm not talking about the salesman in Selfridges who didn't have my husband's size in shirts but produced one that was two sizes too big and said, "It will shrink when you wash it, then it will fit you really well!"

No, I'm talking about diet club leaders who are well intentioned but get carried away in general ignorance. At a slimming club a couple of years ago, the leader pointed out that I hadn't lost weight for some time.. In front of the group, I willingly explained that taking medicinal steroids for my illness could hold up weight loss. "Well," she replied, "I really can't see how that happens. How can such a tiny tablet make anyone put on weight? She saw my astonished/horrified face and quickly moved away to another part of the room to ask someone else a question. I was completely blocked from replying and never went back to that club.

I joined another well-known club last week and explained that my weight loss may be slow due to Prednisolone: that some of the symptoms include a ravenous appetite. Her reply? "Well, it's really quite simple. Everything you are experiencing can all be in the mind and easily controlled." I didn't want to ask her if it was her belief that the pain and medical symptoms of PMR are all in the mind. I've decided to stick with the club and to very slowly get back to my proper weight without paying too much attention to the wise sayings of chairman slimming club. But it does make you think, doesn't it?

44 Replies
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HeronNS

PMR has, I hope, made me a kinder person. I don't think I would ever have said anything so directly rude, but I might have thought how easy it was to control one's health. But that is from the perspective of someone who is healthy and never experienced the life changing event of chronic illness when your control really is shown to be a phantom and whatever you've done to keep yourself healthy, etc., has "worked" at least in part because you're already healthy. Our body has let us down and all we can do is muddle along doing the best we can. It doesn't help when people unwittingly blame us for not managing to stay well, get slim, whatever.... I like when people are interested enough to ask me how I am. I don't like when they ask, "Are you still on prednisone?" What's the difference?

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43tripandskip

Yes, it's easy to forget how the perceptions of "healthy" people influence their thinking about people who look well and should therefore BE well. Having PMR has slowed me down and made me perceive illness in a different way, I hope it's made me kinder

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stonecreek

way to go. good thinking!

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GOOD_GRIEF

What it makes me think is that ignorant people are running scam programs.

The part that you may find helpful is that there are others who are also struggling to maintain or lose weight in these "clubs", and they are the people most useful to you, in sharing struggles and triumphs together.

Leave the so-called "coach" out of it.

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43tripandskip

Yes, that is one big lesson that I am learning.

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PMRpro
PMRproModerator

I wouldn't be putting my money in her pocket!

I used the RC clubs originally, it was what got me into exercise at all. But despite the leader being a lovely friend, after the intial target being reached she put me onto a new target I was never going to achieve. So I had to continue paying the full rate. Once you paid once per week you could attend other exercise classes - fine if you lived in a big city no doubt, but it mean a half hour drive for me. No - daylight robbery all too often and when then coupled with ignorance about medical conditions and their management, unforgiveable.

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43tripandskip

It's inevitable that all these weight loss clubs are looking at their profits. I remember that the RC clubs had wonderful exercise classes that could often be great fun. However, bankruptcy of the RC clubs brought all that to an end. I believe she has an online club now but it wouldn't be the same as chatting to other people who are sitting around you.

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PMRpro
PMRproModerator
in reply to 43tripandskip

It was the exercise and the exercise only that kept me going there for so long. It was the level I could manage - which was the important thing at first. Then I realised I might just as well use the money towards a monthly gym membership that offered so much more - and I discovered Pilates as well!

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43tripandskip

I can't wait to start exercise - other than the 30-45 minutes daily walking that I do at present. Several days ago, I was on my way to start a Tai-Chi class which I used to belong to before I got PMR. Unfortunately, I fell over the pavement on my way there. Landed awkwardly in the gutter and suffered the indignity of having a very small elderly lady trying to help me off the ground! I've put exercise on hold at the moment!

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PMRpro
PMRproModerator
in reply to 43tripandskip

I would love to as well - but a fall a month ago has made a right mess of my right knee, walking just makes it complain loudly and stiffen. Trouble is, you can't really rest knees ...

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jinasc

Go here and then follow it and save money: Newsletter Summer 2016

pmr-gca-northeast.org.uk/gr...

Then go to Page 4...............you will be happy to lose weight by just following those simple tips from a lead dietician who came to speak to a PMR GCA Support Group as some people had Type 2, others borderline and some Type 1.

Result we all lost weight and those borderlines never became Type 2 and half of those Type 2 became clear and the Type 1' and others all lost weight. A simple thing like a small dinner plate to trick you eyes, as your stomach is telling you are full, but because stuff is still on the plate, we ignore it.

Worth a shot?

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43tripandskip

Many thanks for the connection to the North-East Newsletter. In fact it's so good that over time, I'm going to read ALL the articles! Thank you

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Yellowbluebell
YellowbluebellModerator
in reply to jinasc

Sounds like something I would like. Off to have a look now. Thanks

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Longtimer

I would have innocently said to her, you obviously haven't had anyone else on steroids who come here....no......well p!ease read about them regarding weight gain......to help me and you!

Shocking such ignorance.....

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43tripandskip

Sometimes, events like these happen so quickly that I just get taken aback. But you're right. Some well thought-out words should do the trick.

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GOOD_GRIEF

Well, what you want from a coach is tips to improve your performance. Coaches who just criticize without showing a path to improvement are simply bullies.

I think many of us remember that from gym class back in the day, which is at the root of so many of us having lost our childhood joy in running and jumping and playing.

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43tripandskip

A very good point

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piglette

I wonder what they would say to someone with Prader-Willi syndrome! If they bothered to check the NHS website they would realise there are several things that can cause unnatural weight gain.

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43tripandskip

Unfortunately, these are people who don't use the internet for brushing up their skills. Hence the general ignorance. Very unlike an elderly lady in South Wales called Marie Griffiths who runs a diet club called Slimtone (not to be confused with the multinational company). She also runs her club online. When I first joined her club in 2015 I told her that I had PMR. She asked her members in class if they knew anyone with this condition and got overwhelming replies. She made sure she understood what it was like to have PMR, and was most receptive to my needs. Unfortunately, there is an emphasis on carbohydrates in her wonderful diets and I had to look elsewhere for a more protein based approach.

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Longtimer

You say "eldery " lady, that's the answer m aybe, that she had heard of it before....so younger ones should be more serious about their work and work with some people that have reasons for gaining weight

Yes, we have to find the right diet for us.....it still makes me s mile thinking of the "hip and thigh diet"...😏

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piglette

What a lovely story

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piglette

Talking about dieting, I have just watched Trump in his visit to U.K. and he is starting to look a bit chubby. Perhaps it was his lunch at the palace, tea at Clarence House and then a state banquet this evening, with six separate wine glasses.

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HeronNS
HeronNS
in reply to piglette

🤢

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PMRpro
PMRproModerator
in reply to piglette

Thought that a week or two ago - don't just blame the royal table ...

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piglette
piglette
in reply to PMRpro

Royal table just adding to it!! He had turbot to start with, I love turbot. The chubbiness really showed when he wears a DJ.

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Oumaof2
Oumaof2
in reply to piglette

I can blame wine for contributing to my 'swim ring' middle... DT is teetotal... Wonder what they served him?.

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piglette
piglette
in reply to Oumaof2

Turbot, lamb and strawberry something or other, plus fruit. Trump is off for more meals today! They may have given him water or perhaps a coke!

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PMRpro
PMRproModerator
in reply to piglette

Probably had a burger on the way!!

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Varnish

Stick insects have no brains

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stellafmdm

I'm going to Tai Chi class this morning inspite of being really achy! I find the excecises loosen me up and I can always sit down if I need to! Hopefully the aches will go away. I suspect it is going to rain soon and that always makes the aches worse!!

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ncfaaeos

Incredible. I too would have been stuck for words!

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43tripandskip

I always think of a clever answer 24 hours later!

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S4ndy

I wouldn't be paying her! Diabolical, it annoys me that these type of uninformed people run slimming clubs.

I had to study and pass exams to be able to run exercise classes and that included anatomy and physiology. We also had to study different conditions in order to be aware of things like RA and PMR that might affect peoples ability to exercise. We also had to study nutrition.

My understanding is that slimming club organisers don't have comprehensive training. So I guess ignorance of the effect of steroids is to be expected. This does not excuse them from listening and learning though!

I am fat, I know I am fat, I was told I was fat when I was 11 years old when I wasn't fat but impressionable.

I have tummy problems which limit the type of foods I can properly digest. Unfortunately this means that the low carb diet doesn't suit me. I am on a FODMAP diet which is helping me to control the tum problem and to lose a tiny bit of weight slowly.

There isn't a one size fits all for weight loss except eat less, move more which as all of us PMR bunnies know is not easy to achieve.

Save your money, you don't need this type of "support" is my view. I am not into paying ritual humiliation.

Sorry for the rant but I truly believe a society that focuses and makes huge amounts of money from body image rather than a healthy body is somewhat warped.

Don't get me started............. Lol!

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43tripandskip
43tripandskip
in reply to S4ndy

Thank you for a very informative email. I believe that people who want to be Leaders just "shadow" an experienced leader for a limited time. To the best of my knowledge there is no study involved.

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Jackoh

Awful- both of them shouldn’t be running the groups. It really makes me annoyed when folk pontificate about GCA or PMR without finding out about it first from the web. There really is no excuse for ignorance and stupid remarks not only said to you personally but in a group situation 😬

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43tripandskip

I agree. I think that these people are selected because there aren't many who want to dedicate their time to it. So selection depends on whoever walks through the door.

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PMRpro
PMRproModerator
in reply to 43tripandskip

The income isn't too bad when they are in an urban area. Not so good in the sticks. But it is a job - however you look at it they probably don't see it as a vocation ...

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43tripandskip

good point!

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PMRCanada

Others don’t understand our struggle, what it’s like to be on pred and keep cravings and weight in check, how we have to continually watch carbs, salt, etc.

This woman is in the wrong business with that attitude.

I’m still dealing with my closest friend who is having issues with MY 30 pound weight loss (she is overweight, so am I still with my weight loss). Thought she could at least celebrate the one positive thing that has come out of PMR and a needed knee replacement.

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Hidden
HiddenAmbassador
in reply to PMRCanada

Aaw. I will congratulate you PMR Canada. Well done for coping with the hard work of managing diet and illness 😍🎉

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PMRCanada
PMRCanada
in reply to Hidden

Thanks so much Poopadoop!

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PMRpro
PMRproModerator
in reply to PMRCanada

Not to mention the friend who struggles to be one.

I think you have done a fantastic job.

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Oumaof2
Oumaof2
in reply to PMRCanada

Congratulations, that's a fantastic achievement 🎉💐... Don't fret about your 'friend'.... Just keep up the great work... 🌻

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43tripandskip

Yes, I agree, to understand weight issues when guiding others to lose weight you have to have a wide understanding of health factors. I'm really pleased you've managed to lose weight. Congratulations!

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