Ok ok ok. So, a mere 24 hours later, the precious Limo has been returned to where I left it, as if by Magic. Phew! AND… all valeted, filled up with fuel and the tyres dressed. No damage, just some familiar looking FUR on the driver’s seat and 500 more miles on the clock than when I last used it. 500 miles in 24 hours..? And, oh yes, an empty Vodka bottle in the glove box. Sounds a bit like what sometimes happens with the Valet Parking service at Heathrow airport…
And the Old Bill have contacted me. They have CCTV footage of The Suspect - a notoriously cheeky Rascal with previous form for ‘borrowing’ Luxury cars from their owners. Trouble is, he ‘bears’ (first clue..) a striking resemblance to You Know Who (next clue as if you haven't got it already…).
What to do? The Limo is back safe and sound but Tedski has gone AWOL. But.. hang on a minute.. who’s that on WSM beach making a giant sandcastle in the shape of an old car?
To quote the lyrics from a famous 1960s Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes song: ‘If You Don’t Know Me by Now…. da de da de da etc’
Now, Hands Up: I apologise for, and hereby solemnly promise not to keep writing these silly stories which, for better or worse, take-in some of You Lot hook line and sinker. Well, for the rest of this week at least…
But seriously, thanks for your genuine (if mis-guided - sorry!) concerns. But it just goes to show what a Sincere and Genuine Lot you are when the chips are down.
Enjoy your weekend - and if you suffer from PRED HEAD don’t leave your car keys lying around. You never know WHO might be waiting to snaffle them
‘Uncle’ MB
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markbenjamin57
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London to Arbroath, 497 miles. Have done that in 24 hours for years... Bit further, Dundee to Dover (550-ish) also possible - morning start, overnight near Dover, on the ferry by breakfast...
My 'commute' as a signpost photographer in the 1990s was End to End from Land's End to John O'Groats and back every 6 weeks...stood at JOG signpost 9a.m, arrived Land's End at 3a.m., went home to bed. About 875 miles. The magical bit was at night, with music! And chocolate...
Yep, that sounds realistic. I once did the Scottish Highlands to WSM in 24 hours (about 700 miles). Not all in one go - with regular comfort stops. Not sure I'd do it now though... energy and concentration not quite as sharp with PMR.
Have to join in. Until this silly confusing condition and I was working outside Turin I regularly used to drive back from Cocconato (near Turin) to the Cotswolds (1540 kilometers) in daylight leaving at 6:30 in the morning and with the extra hour and the tunnel clear back home for 8:30 pm. A few days back in the UK and then the return trip but because of the M25 and the hour going the wrong way, I didn't used to get back to Cocconato until nearer midnight. Couldn't do it now as the "tiredness" would probably overtake me but would love to have a try!!
I now refuse to do what we used to to do: Rotterdam/Ijmuiden/Zeebrugge to here in the day, 12+ hours (says it is 10 1/2 hours driving time from Holland, bit more from Belgium). I will consider driving it all myself in 2 days - with a hotel and good meal halfway.
That's the trouble Jane! Maybe a Preface in any (rare, for me) serious Post saying: 'Warning, This Is Serious'. But of course that would only make you more suspicious..
As for Tedski - I might rough him up a bit for his co-appearance at the Members' Day on 8 Sept. OH NOOO.. THE SECRET'S OUT!!!!!
Ha Keith - a few of You Lot actually. For once, my story was a bit TOO plausible. Note to self - signpost the Gags. On the other hand, keep them guessing?
Congrats on the new role - look forward to a catch-up with you on 8 September.
And you had us all worried for you! Just as well I’m off the Preds! Now if it had been April 1st we would have taken it with a pinch of salt. No that’s not good for the heart either.
I thought as much and Oh! a long awaited picture of the rascal Tedski....... l must admit he is a lot larger than l imagined, he must take up considerable space if he decides to snuggle up to you in bed,does he leave you enough room,or do you end up on the sofa for the night? I can understand now how difficult it must be to keep him under control as he looks very self assured and as l have already said,rather large....cute with it though,l would not want to upset him !
Actually Grants, the current Tedski kips on the balcony in a special kennel with his own Sky TV, cocktail bar and BBQ equipment. He's a bit of an Outdoor type and likes to sniff the Atlantic air that wafts across the bay. Yep, this one's cute and a bit mischievous. But watch out, Tedski 'Mark' Two is in development. Be scared - very scared...
Did I miss this post? Yes!
Did I tell you who stole the Merc? Yes! Was I right? Yes!
Oh well in this world of 'fake news' why would I be surprised ! ? Think part of my personal gullibility is that I was never very 'good' at 'teasing' - I never understood it and apparently still don't. Although swathes of Aussies are infamous for taking the 'mickey' (out of 'each other') - this is a popular cultural aspect I have also never been inspired by - being a 'sheep-headed' Kiwi (apparently). Guess we can't all be talented in the same ways - and your sense of the imaginary is so strong Mark I'm sure you will continue to create much amusement here for some time to come ...
Best wishes
Rimmy
PS. But I am STILL pleased your car IS safe and sound - IMAGINE if it was not !!
Ha Rimmy, well, I do have previous form for being a practical joker and general wind-up merchant. Just my devious way of getting attention - I blame a confusing and traumatic childhood.
For example: one day, my mother (RIP) detached the stabiliser wheels from my bicycle with NO warning. I was age 31 at the time, and married with a full-time job. Cruel or what?
At a school Careers Day, my parents asked one of my teachers: "what do you think Mark will be when he grows up?" The teacher's reply: "About 40".
I always imagined Tedski to be a ‘ little Ted’ it was quite a shock to see how large he is,l dread to see your next one,Tedski Mark Two,l hope they will both get on well together,or you will have even more trouble on your hands.
Yup. I immediately fell for those big brown eyes, cute soft voice and sweet smile. But that's enough about the young lady Charity shop assistant who persuaded me to buy him...
We NEVER believed it anyway Mark or, at the very least, we WERE all sceptical. No-one Jokes about a genuine theft, especially not, of a prized car!
Mind you, that Teddy needs a good 'Stuffing'- teach him some manners. Nothing too severe, just the Bear essentials. You know, so he doesn't Drive you crazy...….
Thanks for the giggle, hope that I have returned one.
Well, yep: Hands-up, and perhaps a Wind-up too far this time? Ohhhh, even well intentioned Humour can backfire on you sometimes - as I know.
As for Teddy: not sure about 'stuffing' him. I tend to reserve that for the Christmas Turkey - but I get your drift. As for 'Bear' essentials and 'Driving' etc... nice one!
Yes, always good to share a giggle here - and to roll-with the equally (or even more?) witty 'punches' (banter) from You Lot too. I like a bit of competition..
Thanks and best wishes - look forward to staying in touch.
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