checking in..

[DonnaBoll]

I just wanted to 'check in' and see how everyone is doing with the holidays

I know the whole season can be a time of sadness for many reason. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us.

So many preparations to make... cooking, decorating, family and friend commitments... just be good to yourself. Pace yourself. All too often we put so much pressure on ourselves when we no one is asking us to. We all have a knack for self sabotage at times. I know I can be really good at it. My anxiety level hits the roof when I have preparations for a family event. All too often you wouldn't want to be around me on those days. Anyone else do this to themselves?

[butterflyEi]

Stress and pressure are so bad for us and yet I suspect many of us are the same Donna.

[DonnaBoll Administrator in reply to butterflyEi]

I just keep telling myself to 'keep it simple' when I'm planning anything, All too often I put this pressure on myself. You would think after all these years I would learn but...

[chrisj]

I have done in the past.

In the earlier days of SLE I can remember struggling to make a basic xmas dinner for my daughter, her partner and their first child with another one on the way. My sister called with her husband in the midst of it all, she had no idea how I was feeling, greeted my daughter (who she'd really called to see) and left to visit her own family. I promised myself I'd never do that again I simply wasn't well enough and felt very ignored. My grandchildren are 18 and 22 now, its a long time ago and they never come for xmas now they spend it with his family in Wales. I'm in England.

Since then my son's moved back home as he wasn't well and came back bringing his problems with him...as times gone on he's taken over the cooking, there's only two of us now for xmas. I buy in via the internet and he cooks, he's 56.

My daughter will be here for the day on the 21st and I'll be ordering food online. Her partner and my grandson are coming for a football match so they won't be around much..

I'm not very mobile these days, the OA has been a nightmare, managed to get a stereo injection for one knee on monday this week.

I can understand how you're feeling I hope your family is more thoughtful than mine. I've opted out of the stress of cooking mainly thanks to my son. Have a good xmas Donna in spite of it all xxx

[DonnaBoll Administrator in reply to chrisj]

I can imagine how hurtful the events have been for you. We (I anyway) have this idyllic picture of what the holiday should be. who are we kidding?! At these times, we just have to step back and do what's best for us. Sounds like you have done with the cooking portion of the holiday. Good for you! We want that 'family all around us' picture to be true but in so many cases it is far from it. We just have to do what's best for ourselves, don't we? I hope you have holidays that bring you some peace with it all. I have a knee to be replaced the end of February. I know how awful knee problems can be. Hoping you feel better and can enjoy the coming weeks.

[pbc-zero in reply to chrisj]

Prayers for your family!

[pbc-zero]

Hi. My body is reacting to the stress. I am having some pains and other subtle reminders that I have PBC, to include a tad of itching in various sites. Haven't itched at all until the last few weeks. I lost my husband in August to pancreatic cancer at age 61. Too young!!! I have fallen off the wagon with my sugar intake and I'm feeling the results there as well! I MUST do better!!

[DonnaBoll Administrator in reply to pbc-zero]

Please be kind to yourself. Stress can certainly cause the itching - and the fatigue - to get worse. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Just take one day at a time....