Very stressed

[Jeanb47]

Hi. Lots of changes in my life right now. I am 72 - diagnosed June 2017. However, I’ve had high ALP & GGT for years . Just not PBC . Two liver resections.. I only have right lobe left

I moved to a supportive environment because of the increasing fatigue and pain in right side under ribs. It was becoming more difficult to cook and clean. This is a great place, meals, housekeeping and transportation to appointments. My husband of three years, Robert moved with me. It is very costly . my husband has more money than I. He is a retired lawyer

Robert has mental problems in which he goes into uncontrollable rages. He yells, swears and threatens me. On March 27 th . He got particularly angry and aggressive. He never seems to have a reason. He left for the night as I threatened to summon staff for help. I decided I could not keep living in this fear. Next morning I alerted staff to the problem. Robert returned happy unconcerned about how badly he frightened me,

The centre has a protocol for”family violence. “ and assisted me in getting the courage to get an Emergency Protection Order and have him removed from the premises.

I’ve a lawyer who is now filing for separation. But I’m not well. The fatigue and pain seem to be increasing, if that’s possible. Now I have financial concerns as paying for the care by myself is scary. We were splitting cost down the middle.

And I miss him he was sometimes very caring and helped me cope, but those times were becoming less frequent.. anyway by court order there is no contact with him . It’s so very hard , not to know where he is, how he is etc and to be alone I know it’s the right thing for me as the situation was becoming more scary.

The fatigue is so bad right now, and yet I have insomnia sleeping about 4 hours a night

Bloods are slowly increasing bilirubin was 22, ALP - 239 ( down slightly, ) albumin -35 I’m intolerant of URSO so no meds. Last fibroscan was 10

Now I feel better having written this down . Sorry it’s not a happy posting I’ve been on this roller coaster too long

Jeanette.

[mrspeffer]

I am so very sorry to hear that you are going through this. IS there a diagnosis of any sort that may explain his behavior? Must be very frightening to see this happen to your love. I'm not 100% sure, but I do believe the increased stress will create horrible effects to your health. I have a recollection of my grandfather behaving similarly after a CVA. It was so hard for everyone to see this lovely man deteriorate. Please take care of yourself. All will fall into place in time. Do let us know how you are doing. Be well.

[EileenUSA]

Jean,

Wow.. that is a whole lot going on.. I am glad you were able to at least write it all out here.. It's good that you took the necessary steps to be safe.

I hope that you find other support around there to help you through this transition and the loss.. Do the best you can to take one thing at a time and breathe through the stress if you can... sending prayers for your situation. Let us know how you are doing whenever you need or want. We can listen.

[Jeanb47 in reply to EileenUSA]

Thanks. Your words are appreciated

[gwillistexas]

I’m so sorry you are facing emotional & physical distress. Life seems so unfair sometimes & is especially difficult when it involves people we hold dearest to our hearts. I am sending a heart full of prayers & open arms to hug you 🙏🏻❤️

[Ktltel]

Jeanb47,

You have to make YOU the priority. Your sick. Stress increases problems for our PBC. Let him get the needed help he needs. You, need to find alternative care for PBC. What about Ocaliva or getting in on the Seladelpar trial? What about fenofibrates or bezofibrates? Talk to your health care providers about it.

I'm sorry you are going through this. But, please, take care of YOU first. ❤

Stella

[Jeanb47]

Thanks for all your support. I probably should have kept this all to myself, but somehow writing it out is helpful.

I’m a survivor so I know in time this will all be in my rear view mirror. Hugs everyone.

J

[gwillistexas in reply to Jeanb47]

❤️

[butterflyEi in reply to Jeanb47]

here is one of the best places to share our woes. I believe it to be a safe place and an anonymous one.

[ninjagirlwebb]

You are doing the right thing. Not sure what divorce laws where you live might prevail, but usually if you have a good lawyer, your standard of living is maintaned by your husband’s alimony payments to you. If he is well off, this is due to you especially in light of the circumstances. Of course, that also depends on whether you have a pre nuptial agreement which generally prevails.

Glad you are able to share this here because it helps to lessen the burden.

Stay well & feel free to write if it helps you feel better.

Hugs.

Haley

[ENuk]

Hi Jean, I left abusive marriage and during divorce proceedings I was diagnosed with PBC (and other autoimmunes). I believe the severe stress triggered the conditions. Thankfully I seem to be responding to Urso but still early days. My life is getting better each day and I have just moved into my a new house and I feel safe. It is a wonderful feeling after years of walking on eggshells.

For you now it is one step at a time. Let the solicitors handle the separation. Do you have family support?

[Jeanb47 in reply to ENuk]

Son lives far away, but I have some wonderful girl friends. Thanks for you words of support. I know it’s going to take time.

[kingsnorth]

Sorry you are having problems separation and divorce are very stressful as l went through it many years ago myself. As you have a lawyer on your side I’m am sure you will be financially looked after especially as you mentioned your husband is comfortably off. That would be the situation in the UK anyway. Good luck x

[butterflyEi]

So very sorry to read this post Jeanette. Aggression of any sort is difficult to manage but even more so when we are poorly. It is good that you have a supportive network around you and I sincerely hope that you are able to continue paying to stay where you are. Money worries add to our stress. Please know that you will always have lots of kind caring support on here, keep coming back to us to let us know how you are doing.

best wishes

[CSimms452]

Ah Jeanb47. I feel so sorry to read this. At your age something you could do without. He obviously has a health problem, as he doesnt remember but that doesnt help you. You need to focus on keeping a diary of what your doing, feeling. I am at present. Making friends and join a group even if it's a meal on e a week. You need advice, and help. I hope you find it xx Bless you and take care. You will feel better. 😀🌹🌹 glad to read you have girl friends and support.