Struggling with guilt

[dch252]

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with PA about 3 years ago following a terrible episode of acute pancreatitis followed by gallbladder surgery. I have struggled badly with fatigue, brain fog and anxiety and retired early as a result.

I still felt fatigued but I was quite settled being able to play computer games, read science fiction and study history.

I haven’t felt able to get out and about much or exercise for a while and my weight has increased to 17 and a half stone. Following a recent blood test my doctor has now diagnosed type 2 diabetes - I have a follow up appointment with the diabetic nurse tomorrow.

I know you’ll understand that I am feeling horribly guilty for gaining weight and not exercising enough and getting yet another chronic condition as a result. I feel like a morbidity obese, lazy useless slob - I think my doctor feels that too.

Would you have any advice on how to live positively and be at peace with all this? Thanks for listening.

[Nackapan]

I'm also exercise intolerant . I often can make myself feel very unwell pushing to do the smallest of walks.

First thing is try and forget guilt as another barrier.

You are where you are .

Change csn happen from today. No drastic diets.

Start by eating what you are used to but much smaller portions.

Go from there .

Watch the calories in easily obtained fluids in drinks .

Don't weigh your self too often. Once a month at the very most.

Do exercises sitting even at the computer or TV.

Distraction from food.

Hooe the nurse is good . Supportive. And you can turn this around.

Will take time and patience.

[Gambit62 Administrator]

The diabetic nurse should be able to give you some advice on diet which is generally the key to getting diabetes under control, and once you lose some weight you may feel like exercising more. It may be that there is an exercise group for people who are specifically struggling with weight gain and type 2 diabetes as a result.If you are down and getting depressed then please be aware that this totally screws up the relationship between motivaton and action and you actually have to start doing something before the motivation comes.

There are other forums on here specifically focused on diabetes and you may get more support there, though they do tend to be less active than this forum.

healthunlocked.com/drwfdiab...

healthunlocked.com/diabetes...

and there are others.

There are also some forum around weight-loss.

You could also ask the diabetic nurse about appropriate forms of exercise for you.

Locally we have groups that organise health walks - that might be a way of getting some gentle exercise and getting contact with other people which is often a huge part of things.

[2FloorLuka]

Hi! Please, don't take it so hard on yourself. When we are housebound and feeling sick, we often use food to comfort ourselves. It is not healthy, but its a moment of pleasure during our Day. During this pandemic many People put a lot of weight on (myself included). The mental crisis was almost unbearable and eating helped to release the anxiety. Lockdown should have made ALL People more empathetic with chronic patients, now that everyone knows how it feels like to feel locked because of a health crisis. If your doctor is making you feel like you are not worthy, FIRE him! You don't need his judgments, only support & help. There are many professionals out there Who would be more than pleased to help you during your Journey.It is not the time to feel beaten. Do your best to get back on track and prove to yourself that you can be a better and healthier version of yourself.

((Hugs & good luck))

😊

[Narwhal10]

Hi dch252,Sending a virtual hug. You have been through such a lot, surgery, acute pancreatitis, pernicious anaemia which you live day in and day out with the horrible symptoms of fatigue, brain fog and the anxiety. I can understand why you may feel guilty about putting on weight.

I too put on 4 stone (coeliac disease, stopped eating gluten out in 2 and half stone and was starving - I went with whatever my body craved). Then I put on another stone and a half because B12 deficiency- I had vertigo, tremors when I stood up, ataxia. So, I didn’t care, I kept myself safe from falling by lots of lounging around. I couldn’t cook for myself and my hand eye coordination was affected, I did what I could. Ate lots of toffee popcorn and crisps as fructose intolerant. If any doctor judged me for that, well a tongue lashing would have occurred.

In February, I started being able to walk normally for a couple of hours and built up gradually. I pace my whole day, I have to rest twice during the day. Plus, I had other deficiencies. Now, I’ve lost 3 stone. There are days when you could knock me down with a feather. But then I rarely socialise and live on my own. Conversations/interactions all take energy. As FloorLuka said it’s a journey and small changes to start will put you on the right path with support and empathy to yourself and from others.

All the best,

🐳

[Hidden]

Hope your appointment with the nurse went well, and have given you good advice. Dont down yourself, you've been through an awful lot in the last few years and it takes time to adjust. Take each day as a new day, try to do a little more each day, then pat yourself on your back and go again. Gradually you'll build up more stamina and confidence. Yes you'll get set backs, we all do. Wishing you all the best.