I just received some unsettling health info about my hubby with PD and related severe dementia and I just don't know what to do.

After an Ultrasound, it was discovered my hubby has a abdominal aortic aneurysym and it is 5.2 in size which makes it dangerous and time to figure out to fix it. Surgery thru the groin would possibly work with a day or two in the hospital and a couple of weeks of recuperation at home. If nothing is done, it could burst and that would probably be it for him as statistics are not in favor of major surgery once it has burst. Either way it is a big risk. I don't know how to explain it to my hubby as he wouldn't begin to understand and would be confused if he had to go to the hospital. Meds would have to be given which would or could affect his PD and Dementia. He also has some heart issues. The Vascular surgeon is going to talk with his colleagues to see what they can come up with, if anything, and we go back the first week of December. I will also need to speak to his heart doctor and Movement Specialist to get their opinions. I'm doomed if I don't go ahead, and doomed if I do. I am so afraid of making the wrong decision as I don't want to put him thru anymore than he has to go thru. This is all really stressing me out!

[wifeofparky]

You are between a rock and a hard place. You are doing the right thing by conferring with all his specialists. Make a list of questions to ask them all. Write down their answers so you can review them later. Do you have close family to discuss this with? What are the odds of this aneurysm getting larger and/or bursting.

Did you discuss his wishes before the dementia set in? If he told you his wishes about how he wants to continue life then he may have already made the choice for you. I know my husband's wishes. He has early dementia but has told me repeated what he wants so I know what to do.

This is very stressful and I will say a prayer you get a clear and simple answer to your dilemma.

[Hidden in reply to wifeofparky]

Thanks for your response. I am making my list of questions for the various doctors and will be conferring with our children to see what they think. We did discuss end of life support, funeral and burial but we never talked about a possible surgery that could be life saving or a death sentence. I guess I will get my responses from everyone and then God for guidance.

[tlongmire in reply to Hidden]

Raven, you are doing all the right things. Listen to what the docs have to say and make your decision and don't ever question whether it was right or wrong. And NEVER do the what ifs. It will be what is supposed to be. Like wifeofparkie said you are between a rock and a hard place. Thoughts and prayers coming your way.

Hugs, Terri

[jillannf6]

HI

I sympathise w ith you

it si a difficult decision but hopefully you had discuseed it with your husband b4 he got the dementia

if not hten you will hav eto make the decision for him dependign on what the consultants saysorrry i cannnot be of mroe help

lol Jlll

[Hidden]

Balance it all up, and perhaps the surgery might bring a better quality of life to your husband.and less worry for you.

I wish you all the best in your efforts

[CassieB]

I have lived with PD for 10 years I have a living will so that my family knows my wishes.

Sometimes the kindess thing you can do is to do nothing and leave it in Gods hands.

Cassie

[CJ49]

Raven, I am sorry about your dilemma. Two years ago my husband and I were in a similar situation with his mother, who had Alziemer's disease. In situations, such as these, there are "no wrongs", because whatever you and your family decide, it will be decided with "Love".

I pray that God gives you and your loved ones "strength, peace and Love" always.

CJ

[Jocee]

You are doing all the right things. You are both in my prayers. <3

[blessed4431]

I'm so sorry. My only suggestion is get all the information. Talk with all the specialist and discuss with God. Just my opinion. My thoughts and prayers are with you

[DGrif]

Raven,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. This reminds all of us to have the tough discussions once diagnosed about our wishes. My husband has been adamant about quality of life and I know that scary as it is what I'd have to do to follow his wishes. I agree there are no right or wrong decisions. Only those that make sense for you and the sufferer. You will find even family members who don't agree. This is a phase - that honestly scares me. I am praying for you.

[Koko]

Raven,

Your situation is a difficult one. You seem to be doing an very good job. IT is frustrating to not know all the answers. Being only human we can do our best with the knowledge we have and then trust the experts to fill in the blanks. One of my favorite sayings goes something like this. "When faced with a decision, make the best one you possibly can at that moment in time.Then forget about it and realize that the moment of certainty never arises." Many times we can look back and say , "If I only k

new then what I know now." However, we can only use tools that we have at the time. BE gentle with yourself.....rest assured you have made every effort. You are in my prayers.

[shasha]

all i can say is - what would you do if it were you and not your husband - in other wrds - make a decison based on yourself and then just pray for the right answer to come to you -

love and hugs

xxx OOOO XXXX