Questions to ask please

[Novapavlova]

Hi. My 82 year old mum was told just before Christmas that she has terminal pancreatic cancer but chose to wait till mid January to tell us (didn't want to ruin our Christmas!). She found out after having a CT scan to investigate colonic problems. She's not told us much; said that when she was told they couldn't tell her what stage, the prognosis etc but just offered her chemo which she declined. I feel that she's deteriorating fast. Tomorrow will be her first visit from a Macmillan nurse and I'm wondering what questions I should be asking? She is often sick, has bad indigestion and is taking a couple of laxatives per day. She's been given Nefopam Chloride for pain relief which I think are helping but I'm assuming the pain is her diverticulitis. She's had no support from a colorectal nurse or anyone up until now. Should I be asking for daily visits from the Macmillan nurse or is that asking too much at this stage? My mum is still able to go out and do her shopping on good days. I live 70 miles away so am consciously that I can't always be there as I work full time, have a primary school age daughter and a husband working shifts. Or should I try to be there more? I just want someone to tell me we have years, or months left. Or weeks if they have to. I'm terrified I'll be far away and my mum won't tell me she is deteriorating.

[honjen43]

Am so very sorry you mum has this diagnosis. I don't know a great deal about pancreatic cancer - except that it can be fast acting, and that it does not seem to respond well in the long term to any treatment.

If she had refused treatment, it may be she does not have long. Can I suggest that you try and take 3 months compassionate leave from your work and be with her. My brother in law was given 6 weeks at diagnosis and had only about 3 that were good.

Find out as much as you can of her diagnosis and try to be there for her if you can.

I am thinking of you.

Hugs

Jen xxxx

[Novapavlova in reply to honjen43]

Thank you Jen. I'm going to try to talk to the nurse today in confidence and see what she says and suggests. Thank you, so sorry to hear you've lost your brother in law to the dreaded cancer!

[Ybush35]

Younlive far so Can I suggest you read about this type of cancer but your daily Prayer for a her and mostly call talk but communicate with her daily as much as possible, also prayer groups are for hope if treatment is declined, read about healthy foods for the pancreas, juicing is best. God bless yoyr mum and your family.

[Novapavlova in reply to Ybush35]

Thank you

[Gerjanwil]

I'm learning people with pancreatic diagnosis are doing better than in the past and traditional chemo can be a great help. There are several options of different chemo to try. I personally know a 74 year old woman who was diagnosed as stage IV three years ago and she's still here! Still on chemo but still here. Don't give up hope too quickly.