So afraid of the unexpected

[InezJ]

My husband was Just diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. No signs and appears healthy. I have lupus and RA Fibro and Sjogrens. He had been my caregiver. I know the road ahead will be rough. I’m overwhelmed with my own sickness and his is worse and I am just so afraid for both of us mainly him since I have to be his full caregiver and don’t know what really to expect.

[smaller]

Hello there and sorry to hear about your hubby. My wife's my carer but beforehand we had care givers come in. Those people are great it's the Managers who create problems with the liar's they feed you and deny they had said it? Ask your local Social Services for an assessment of both your needs its yours by law. Also ask someone like Age UK you don't need to be of pension age and maybe any contribution?

Good luck.

Smaller.

[InezJ in reply to smaller]

Thank you Smaller for replying. I will look into some Social Services. I really appreciate your input and I will be praying that you have some days that Are endurable. May God give you the strength you and your wife need each day....along with others who are dealing with such challenges illnesses.

[Gemsowoo]

Hi I'm sorry but I have to be honest with you and your family you are going to be heading down a very tough road pancreatic cancer is one of the worst and will not end the way we all would hope for the best advice I can give is to make memories take pics and get everything in order to be able to grieve without the stress of everything eles my prayers are with you and your family xx

[InezJ in reply to Gemsowoo]

Thank you. I will try to be brave and strong. If I could just stop crying. We are in shock. My husband looks the picture of health and had no signs or symptoms. We got A second opinion in the pet scan came out the same. Pancreas and spreader to liver. Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer

[Jow27 in reply to InezJ]

Hi, just read your post. Please can I ask how was your husband’s cancer found if he had no symptoms?

[vicky2766]

I don’t know about USA but if you’re in UK, contact Macmillan and adult services for advice and guidance as to what and how to access support for the both of you.

I would highly suggest you also speak to your GP about what services there are local to you for cancer patients or get a close friend or relative to do so. Make notes, keep names and phone numbers of who you speak to and advice given to you so you can easily refer on and keep your memory fresh.

You have a rollercoaster ahead of you so draw on support around you and get things in place sooner rather than later.

Our local hospice offer a care at home package (end of life care), who were responsive to our plights for advice/visit/support and they enabled us to care for Mum at home up until the end 9/7/18.

Don’t be slow in asking for help and advice!!x

[InezJ in reply to vicky2766]

Vicky I am so very sorry about your Mom... maybe I’m in denial... I know what the scans say... but my husband still appears to be his strong normal self. Thank you for your input.

[vicky2766 in reply to InezJ]

Thank you. It’s bizarre isn’t it! My mum too looked a picture of health (jaundice on hindsight was predominant symptom), and then she vomited lots of dark bile which lead to diagnosis. Her quality of life remained the same until she started chemotherapy and radiotherapy bless her, what a battle.

No one knows what is around the corner for any of us right? So do make memories and dont put off what you can and want to do together xx

All the very best to you xx

[InezJ]

Thank you so much. We went through our first chemo and it wasn’t as bad as we thought. I’m just praying that all will be ok. He seemed like himself after a full day of chemo and taking a bag home for two days. He seemed fine and went on with his regular routine. Am I fooling myself... the doctor said when itsbat the tail there are no signs . .... but the PET SCAN SHOWS it spread to his liver and it is not operable. Am I fooling myself. He just seems healthy and this is our second opinion. Thank you everyone for your input.

[vicky2766 in reply to InezJ]

The chemo side effects increase with the number of doses received (was my experience watching Mum).

I don’t think you are fooling yourself, you’re clearly in shock and the diagnosis isn’t matching what you’re seeing.

Am sure I would feel like you too.

[Daneesha in reply to vicky2766]

Hi vicky.. if you dont mind, can you share your mother symptoms before diagnosed with pc? Did she have frequent diarrhea? Weight loss? Sorry i m asking lot of questions.. i m having several symptoms for pc.. i m so scare

[InezJ in reply to vicky2766]

Hi Vicky... I just wanted to reach out I know year has went by.. but I remember how kind and frank you were with me when I first found out my husband’s had pancreatic stage 4. Within 6 months he died it was the most hardest thing to watch and my life will never be the same. Thank you so much for your practical and kind encouraging words.