Feeling miserable

[rowantree]

Woke up today feeling miserable. As the pain in my foot from the operation, gets less acute, I realise that the other pains I have aren't going to get any less. I mean, I knew that, it's just that it struck me today, as I woke up with bad pain in my hands. How do we keep going, knowing its probably going to be the same every day? People see me looking normal, and if I say my hands hurt, or my feet they say - oh have a rest, or put your feet up. I know they're being sympathetic but they think it'll go away. Oh it's just so relentless sometimes. I'm tired of it. I'm too young for pain every day. Well maybe tomorrow will be better. Back to work, so at least i will be busy and distracted.

[Hidden]

hot bath and painkillers thats what im doing.. give it a go xx

[hamble99b]

hi rowantree,

I'm sorry you are feeling low, pain really takes it out of us.

I've had periods of such pain that I only get through it minute by minute.

I've also had many more where it it is almost pain free. - I know that seems unbelievable at the moment but it's true. I've also been in long periods of remission.

mostly with the right med's it is manageable, you learn what things & foods aggravate it and adapt around it. [I find salt and fizzy soda drinks cause mine to flare].

sbc pure Arnica gel from qvc eases my joint pains as does the bath soak - this is the only brand I can use as the others add stuff and it irritates my skin.

take care,

sandra.

[Hidden]

Hi rowantree, what kind of operation did you have on your foot? Curious as three times in 18 months I've actually asked for my feet to be amputated because of the pain. Or have the nerves cut. Sorry you feel so much pain, I live on Codeine and paracetamol.

[rowantree]

Hi all,

Thanks for the support. I'm going to have a bath n go to bed. Get warm and cosy with a good book.

Fed_up my operation was for a bunion and arthritis in the joint. Surgeon said it would help a bit but I ll probably need the joint fused soon. Other foot is pretty much the same. And oh my heels hurt bad from cavus feet. I can only take paracetamol as I have bad IBS.

Sorry your feet are so bad. Do you have CRPS? Or something else?

[Hidden]

Hi rowantree,

Its awful when realisation hits you like that. I went to a very dark place when the realisation hit. I had seen 12 different specialists and therapists, none mentioned that the pain would be with me for ever. The 13th one told me exactly what my future was in regard to recovery, being pain free etc. I think it was worse because all the others had given me hope, by avoiding talking about the future. And I understood this to be a good sign.

Well anyway, 10 yrs on, I've made friends with my pain, respect its limitations, understand the consequences of ignoring warning signs. I have to plan more to accommodate it, but like you, I look normal, and other people can be silly with their kindness. There are a few who recognise the signs when all is not well, and they are the ones that suggest an extra coffee break, or having a short lunch break so you can finish early, but they don't single you out or make a fuss.

I use a lot of meditation, distraction, stretching, mindfulness to push it into the background. I find the meditation helps at night when I can't sleep - I don't get caught up in the stress of I can't sleep/should be sleeping. Meditation relaxes your body and your brain works on different wave lengths, so even though you are still awake your body is resting, and your brain gets a break from your usual worries.

At the time, I was given a huge list of things I was advised not to do anymore, some things I had no wish ever to do, but some of the others meant a huge change. When I returned from the dark place, I wrote a list of the things I could still do and focused on them. Then I worked my way through the do not list, and worked out ways to still do some of them. I am stuck with cycling - I used to love cycling, and I think it compounds my hatred of walking for walkings sake.

Managing pain is a very personal thing, and success is down to trial and error, combining many things that make a small difference so the overall effect is less pain. Sometimes giving yourself permission to feel crap helps too.

Good luck

[nedd]

Hope work went well. Hang in there. There are small nuggets of happiness to be gleaned from most days but sometimes its a job to spot them through the pain. Todays delight for me was sharing carrot cake with whippet.

[rowantree]

Haha lovely. Work is distracting at least. All those lovely spreadsheets! The highlight of my day has been playing my flute in spite of hand pain. Guess it ll make my muscles stronger!

[nedd in reply to rowantree]

Now if there is one thing I wish I could do is play a musical instrument. My sister plays the flute. And my son must loath James Gallway as he was always put up for a nap with his beautiful music to lull him to sleep. You have reminded me of how much I love flute music. Thanks.

[biffysmum]

I am so glad to be able to meet other pain suffers on this site. My family are sympathetic to a point but even they dont realise the pain i am in most of the time. No-one does. There are days when i feel so sorry for myself and thats when i visit my baby granddaughter who takes my mind of my pain for a little while.

[teadrinker]

I drove a long way today to see family, and then played the piano. It hurts, and I have the realisation that I'm getting new pain elsewhere, which was inevitable I suppose. But the pleasure I got out of doing those things has made it worth it.

Realising that pain is here to stay is horrible, but in time I have come to accept it. This doesn't mean I like it, and it is relentless. But I've got used to it being around. It's not all of me, it's just a bit of who I am. That's the important thing to remember when it gets you down.

[Hidden]

Hello

We all have days when mountains can be shifted, where the sun shines on my dogs shimmering coat, life can be good whatever our trial is Everyone of us has a cross too bear, and sometimes this gets dropped and our problems emerge as a rash with an itch, I challenge everyone that will not give it a good scratch. Life would be very boreing if that was not the case

We all need to be positive, and look for ways that will help us show sympathy for those that are worse off than ourselves, this is what makes us human kicking when down or wispering behind the back, then becomes less human and a trial to all involved.

So we carry on looking for a an exit that will give us a way to a more interesting life and strength to fulfil more challenges

BOB

[rowantree]

Feeling miserable again.... I just reread all the comments from last time I was feeling so low. It helped! Thanks