New post on pain control at end of life.

[PainConcernHelpline]

painconcern.org.uk/assisted...

Are you for or against assisted dying? Tell us– we want to hear from you and know what you think.

painconcern.org.uk/contact-us/

[kenster1]

all for it myself.

[Bananas5]

I would like to share my own experiences of losing my husband just a few weeks ago.

Do I write on here?

He suffered chronic pain for almost 40 yers and I would be happy to share our experiences of his life...and death

x

[Madlegs1 in reply to Bananas5]

I'm sorry to hear that, Bananas 5,

I've followed your story for a long time now and envied your permanency in the Canaries. We often get to Lanzarote for a fortnight.

For myself, you are welcome to post your experiences on here. Especially if you find it helpful to discuss.

Wishing you well.

[Zac2018]

yes l agree with it

[Madlegs1]

I'm for it.

But it is obviously a huge area for discussion, and has been trawled over in many countries around the world.

Individual rights, safeguards, procedures and so on need to be teased out.

My bottom line is that we treat our pets with more humanity and compassion than we do our loved ones.

If I want to end my life, I am only able to do so in such a manner that must cause anguish, heartbreak and suffering for others near to me. And I have to carry it out before I absolutely need to, thus ending my life prematurely, utterly needlessly.

[Hidden]

I'm definitely for assisted dying. I have seen too many people I loved dearly suffering a long slow painful death. I have a complete utter dread of this happening to me myself because of the many conditions I have, but mainly due to the chronic pancreatitis.

I don't understand why we can euthanize a suffering animal to save it from this awful prospect yet us humans cannot be helped in this way! It seems extremely unfair.

I know if I committed suicide it would leave my family and friends with a lot of pain to deal with so that will never be an option for me, therefore, I completely support assisted dying.

[Schnoodle2017]

hmmm…. Difficult one.

I’d support it with caveats; there’d need to one doctor to agree to the individual assisted suicide. Two other doctors independent from the individual concerned to agree with this. The family? On the one hand they must be involved. The only problem is any of the family being able to let go that or insist that person doesn’t get assisted suicide because they don’t want their loved one to die. It’s tough. I find it too tough for me to say no family involvement as I’m uncomfortable with family (where there is one) being shut out. I don’t think that’s wise.

We certainly put down animals as quick as. Could be argued that animal doesn’t understand what’s going. Understanding what’s ain’t always a great thing. Animals learn how to pass on naturally. I don’t think we do know to do that anymore.

Bottom line is that no o e should have to suffer. It’s not a compulsory thing

This certainly needs debate.

[Stoneferry8]

When my father was dying of cancer and the end was not far away, I had a friend who was a district nurse and she would call to see him every morning and tell me how he was and if he needed anything that day. One particular day as he was getting near to his last weeks she told me that he could be “helped” in his final journey . She explained that I could speak to the ward sister when I visited and it would be explained to me. It was a case of when he was suffering too much and unnecessarily that his morphine could be administered in a stronger dose and his passing would be peaceful. When the time for him came they called me and said for me to come and see him, I went and held him and said all the things I needed to say and reassured him that mum would be ok and then came home. I received a phone call later in the evening to tell me that he had left peacefully without pain. I was lucky to have that friend who knew that she could approach me with help for my dad. Now that I too am old and have problems and pain, I have informed the powers that be that the decision is theirs, if the medical folk think I am suffering too much or if my quality of life if not good then I leave it up to them, not my family.

[HalWoody in reply to Stoneferry8]

We had the same situation when my father died. He was in his 80s and a very active man, walking into town every single day for both shopping and socialising.

Suddenly, a "leg pain", complained about over a few weeks and seen by a GP at the surgery turned into a rushed admission to hospital for a vein blockage operation and then an amputation of one of his legs when the operation was unsuccessful. This left him really down.

During his recuperation in a rather famous North East hospital, he developed bed-sores on his remaining foot/leg and a further amputation followed. (I have never forgiven his GP for the original misdiagnosis of the leg pain - "torn achilles tendon" - in a man of that age! Nor the famous hospital whose hygiene standards left a lot to be desired and led to the eventual double amputation.

However, once he was back in a truly excellent care home when every encouragement was given to him to "try" - including my brother-in-law collecting Dad in his wheelchair every Sunday lunchtime to take him to his old local pub where he was welcomed with open arms - Dad simply could not accept his fate.

He went down, down, down mentally and it was so hurtful to see such a change in such a short time. I believe it was fortunate that he was under the care of very caring GP at the care home. Dad was often in the depths of despair, just wanting to go and to be honest, none of us, 5 brothers and sisters wished that he would linger on when he was so distressed.

Not a lot was said on the final morning but we were all with him. And I praise the courage of that GP who before obeying the wishes of an old man and giving him peace, explained to the family exactly what was what. She was a final blessing in my father's life.

[HalWoody]

Oh, how I wish, how I wish that I could present myself to a GP (or other medical professional) and simply say,

"Look, Doc, this old boy has had more than enough. I am 79 years old come May; there is absolutely no hope of any improvement in my present health problems which leave me suffering, distressed and often in great pain. I am now alone in the world. Totally alone as over the years I have simply withdrawn from local life and now live the life of a recluse.

Ailments include:

Diabetic neuropathy in my feet and legs leading to many (most) sleepless nights - the "cure" (Amitriptyline) is worse than the illness and is only used when desperation sets in;

Extreme lower back pain. "Cured" by an operation on my spine some 20 years ago, though *never* ever really cured as the surgeon admitted and I have been on strong painkillers ever since;

An "old age" episode some 3 months ago when lifting a not too heavy weight, a tendon in my left arm *popped* and now my once dominant left-handedness has had to be retrained to my right hand. This is not easy after almost 80 years of being left-handed and now the left shoulder is grinding and "clicking" even on slight movements;

My eyesight is fading which spoils my greatest pleasure in life - book reading - I have overcome a great deal of this handicap by purchasing two e-book readers, a Kindle and a Kobo and can recommend the Kobo as the best. (When I was in better health a long time ago, an eye-test discovered cataracts and I was immediately very fortunate in having them swiftly removed. I have not always shied away from treatment as I do now.

Today I ask myself: "What is the point?" I am almost 80 years old. I do not want to be 81 - 82 - 83 - 84 .... I lived a good life in my younger days and I simply do not want to spend possibly years wishing "I was 18 again!")

"Pains in the head" - Started about 18 months ago. I don't know what they are as I have not bothered my GP for an investigation as I do not want or require *any* life-prolonging treatment whatsoever. The pain I can only describe as someone slipping a steel rod into my skull and "twanging" a vein! (Sounds daft, but I yell out in agony when it happens for a microsecond.)

I have lesions on my almost totally bald head. These are "eruptions" of very hard and horny skin, rather like the layers of a nail? which my fingers are drawn to when I lie in bed reading.

Restless legs - I suspect tied in with the neuropathy. I lie in bed reading and my legs keep "lowping" about! I hate it.

Memory loss - I now use an app called Evernote to keep tabs on the likes of prescribed painkillers that I need to get through the day. My short term memory is shot. I have to try and remember to keep a note of important things I have done and record them immediately. Sometimes I have recorded taking a prescribed dose of medicine and then a couple of hours later I see the medicine sitting there, where I placed it, then recorded taking it, then *FORGOT* to take it!

"LOOK, DOC! THIS OLD BOY HAS HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH  ... ! 

p.s. 10 minutes after posting this message, Oh how! Oh how! Oh how! Could I have possibly forgotten about the "waterworks"?

(Likely because I had to quickly click the post button then rush to the lavatory to empty my bladder.)

This is now a *HUGE* problem for me - For some unknown reason, I feel fine until maybe I am standing at the kitchen sink, washing a couple of dishes, or peeling a potato or two then suddenly, The Urge! Usually I can reach the bathroom without a catastrophe though during the day I have taken to making my own pads using "Plenty" kitchen rolls and they cope.

At night, it was a very different matter as the urge to urinate became very frequent when lying in bed, yet often when getting up and going to the lavatory, there was just an "old man's dribble". I solved the problem by purchasing a proper hospital "bed bottle" and also a small 5 litre bucket which I keep at the side of the bed. Now, when the urge occurs, I use the bottle, tip it into the bucket and my first job the next morning is to carry both items through to the bathroom, empty and rinse them, then spray with a bleach solution.

Problem solved ... but ... one more definited reason to plead, "Look, Doc, This old boy has had more than enough !!! ... "

P.P.S. And I also forgot to mention the COPD which causes a horrible experience every morning. Thank godness for the 5 litre Pee-Bucket that I mentioned above because it certainly helps as a receptacle for the "grey oysters" that come hacking up out of my lungs following my morning's gaspings for air. I am on Tiotropium powder inhalers, Salbutamol "rescue" inhalers and some exercise thing which looks like a big, old clay pipe though it is very heavy and has a ballbearing inside to allegedly "rattle, shake and loosen" your mucus.

Sheesh! Where is that Doctor with a (needle and) sense of compassion when you need him?

[Madlegs1 in reply to HalWoody]

I got into trouble for mentioning this before, but I refuse to be silenced.

Have you heard of Death Cafes?

They meet to discuss exactly what you are talking about, and there are 3000 in the UK. Even more in the USA. And all over the world. So there is sure to be one near you.

I think you might find it helpful.

Cheers.