Broken at 21

[Ridgewi]

I have had a good day. It has been?good to think of others and good things. I spoke to my Daughter and she is the light of my life. She is so smart and so beautiful. I hope she finds someone to share her life with and has a grandchild to share her love and big heart with. She is beautiful inside and out.

[Hidden]

Sorry who was broken at 21? Don't get this.

[Ridgewi in reply to Hidden]

I broke my back at 21 years old. I had no insurance. I wore a back brace for 2 years and it never grew back. I got better. I went back to work after 2 years. It slowly started slipping apart. I had surgery 10 years later and it did great for 8 or 9 years. One of the screws dropped down and I had surgery again and it did good again for about 7 or 8 years. The last time the disc pushed out and this time a disc was removed and the surgeon put a cage in. It has haswhurt like crazy every day since. I feel like I have just been a broken thing every since then. I worked for years with no pain meds and was in a lot of pain all the time. I worked a lot and finally one day I just had a breakdown because I couldn't mentally handle the pressure of a job and raising a child and taking care of a house and all that goes with that. I was an Electrical Engineer/Electronic Tech. I designed the electrical part of machines and built them. I drew Electrical Schematics and did service calls. All the while in a lit of pain and didn't take pain meds because I couldn't have worked if I wasn't mentally on the ball. I cried everyday on the way gome from workand I mentally fell apart. I went back to Doctors and they said go home and take pain meds because I should not have anymore surgeries or shots. I wnt to bed one night and must have gotten up in the night and fell and hit my head and didn't know it and kept falling over and over. I had broken bones and large wounds all over my body. A severe head injury then went to the hospital in tan ambulance that took me through the ER and to the waiting room and sat for 3 hrs. The finally after seeing a Dr was told I had brain cancer. I didn't believe that. So I went to surgery and later was told it was a brain Bleed. Home 3 days later. I have panic attacks and seizures and still back pain. So Mostly I am a mess and try to take one day at a time because no matter how bad I feel some one else is always worse off than I am. I don't have a lot of trust in Doctors. After seeing so many in my life I have to make sure they are listening to what I am saying. I do feel very bad for others who are much worse off than I and they probably hurt worse than I. They deserve to get in line ahead of me. When it comes to pain meds to hell with trying to be brave. Take pain meds if you are in alot of pain. We only have one life and if meds help you it is better than hurting if truly need it. Even though I had a lot of back problems and a head injury I also had a beautiful daughter and raised her and loved her as best as I could. I had a husband I loved a lot too. I never forget they were the best part of my life.

[Hidden]

Oh that sounds awful. I am so sorry about your terrible pain and wish I had the words to say more. Thank goodness you are able to concentrate as well on the good things in your life and not be too bitter. I hope you find some answers. Hugs xxx