So it's now been a year since that fateful day when I decided to have a Facet joint injection, as nobody warned me of the actual risks, and ended up in this hell.
I really don't know how some of you do it, I've only been in this state of constant severe never ending pain for a year and I'm about ready to give up, how some of you have been like this for years I will never know.
I still can't work more than 2 days a week which at first we were managing but now bills are spiralling out of control. I can't afford to live anymore and I don't know what to do!
I am in constant severe pain, it makes me feel sick, my back locks in the middle of the night now and I am waking up screaming out in pain as I can't move and my back is locked in place. Nothing works, I'm on morphine, gabapentine, oramorph, lidocaine patches - nothing is helping. I feel so out of control.
I'm only in my early 40's and I am now having to use walking sticks to get around. I hate that people stare or constantly want to know what's wrong - then do the usual "oh I know how you feel, I've had back pain" no actually you don't have a clue how I feel. You don't wake up each morning wondering what the point of your life is anymore when you can't do anything you love, you can't even dress yourself without help! I feel like a constant burden to others and my husband. My husband gets so frustrated, and I don't blame him because again he doesn't get how I may look ok on the outside but inside I'm screaming in pain.
I start at Walton on Monday on an intensive Pain Management programme. I still don't know what is wrong with me as no body will say, Walton seemed shocked when I said I didn't know what was wrong as my last pain clinic always ignored me when I asked the question. The dr said he thought what had happened was that when the injection went in my muscle went into spasam then all the others around also went into spasam to support it and they have just stuck like that and there is no way of fixing it.
I just have to hope and pray this course works as if not I think I am out of options and the thought of living the rest of my life like this doesn't bear thinking about.
I know this post is probably all over the place but that's basically how my head is at the minute so sorry if it's like that but I just needed to get it all out.