Excepting

Morning

Can anyone help me by telling me how i can except the pain I'm in and also not being able to walk

I've done this for years but now it's got this bad I am having trouble excepting it

Today was a very bad day went for wash on frame and tried to get dressed to feel a bit human but ended up in tears with the pain which I probably didn't help myself doing things yesterday as I was able to cope with the pain ie washing my hair bent over sink then drying it

Which isint much is it ?

Sorry to moan but there must be others out there in same position

I am 71 years of age and want to keep fighting just feel useless sat in bed with no violent pain

Rant over lol

20 Replies

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  • Hello Rusty8

    Being able to talk about acceptance of your condition is a huge step and, without sounding patronising, well done.

    I don't know if you have listened to much on chronic pain and how it affects you but you do go through a number of stages. It is in a way like a bereavement.

    Blame, denial, grief, anger with a couple more I have forgotten. Finally and this is something many people never reach...comes accepting.

    Remember when you do feel well not to do things you once regarded as 'normal'. Pacing yourself and doing less is hard but important. You won't have peaks and troughs which does make you feel low.

    What you used to do and how you were is in the past and that is where it must stay. Past. You have learned how to adapt what you can do now and that will be totally different.

    Not painful but I lost my sight over 30 years ago at a young age. I am sure I was angry but don't remember now! i HAVE ADAPTED MY LIFE TO WHAT i CAN DO AND ACCEPTED HELP WHEN OFFERED OR NEEDED. Typing not a skill I have managed!

    You don't say what causes your pain but why are you sitting in bed?

    x

  • Thank you very much for your reply it brought a tear to my eye why I don't know that was before I reached where you lost an eye I can guess you don't want me to say sorry but I will be thinking of you there are different kinds pains out there I'm sure

    The reason for sitting on bed is because once seated my pain eases of tremendously this is what I am embarresed about but today I didn't have a choice just couldn't walk

    I am waiting on mri report and pain relief clinic

    I have a few problems ie kidney transplant I'm in a/f hip and knee replacements

    And spinal stenosis and degenerative disease of spline

    Please don't think I'm moaning just trying to explain to you what's going

    I have dealt with all these problems until a fall then a blackout then I don't know what I have done

    Bring a transplant patient I'm unable to have the same pain killer tablets as others as they don't mix with the ones that are keeping kidney going and I need to keep him 25years old

    I think they are waiting for mri scan and take it from there

    So as you see I have put up with a lot over the years and kept most of it to myself but since loosing hubby it's just me

    I could talk to him and we would sort things out

    But never mind things could be worse

    Thank you very much for listening to me

  • It is hard when you lose the one person you could share your fears and worries with. t always seems so much worse alone.

    Don't be alone. Join in here. Rant, ask questions, laugh, cry, anything. No one judges you and we have all had our Everest's to climb.

    Take care and don't be a stranger

    x

  • You have just bought a tear to my eyes after i read your posts to paton. i dont know what is causing your pain but i just wanted to say hello anyway, do you have any family or any help as maybe you did to much yesterday washing your hair bending over as that would put a strain on your legs and back. if it makes your pain less then your doing the right thing sitting in bed. have you got a radio to listen to or the television. do you have the computer in your room or whatever your using to post your messages. as i go to utube and type in talk down meditatin for pain relief. i use many things like that for my pain, those videos online at utube are very helpful. please dont ever feel like your moaning and no one on here would ever think that. i hope that you get your mri report back soon and something from the pain relief clininc as you say that you have had a transplant and cant have the same pain meds, i just hope that they find you something. you have been through so much over the years and being on your own is so hard with no one to talk to or distract you. i know as im on my own and its very very hard. i have had times when i have felt so sorry for myself. im 66 and have been on my own for a 18 years. roughly. i do manae to get out though so im not as bad of as you are , i have had to spend months seeing no one and just the 4 walls for company so i can certainy understand how your feeling, you are so brave. i like to think that we are special people and that there is a reason for us suffering so, i pray and ask for help. how long has hubby been gone, please dont feel lonley as paton said your so welcome to come here and talk i wish i could do more. all my love grace xoxoxo

  • Hello Rusty8

    I'm 71 too! I am in constant pain 24/7. Arthritis,Osteporosis, both shoulders impingment, and just like you it's sheer agony washing my hair and the pain when drying it. Many times I just want to give up. I can fully understand you. I send you gentle hugs (for your sake and mine)

  • What are we going to do I ask myself as I'm sure you do

    We might be 71 but I'm fine other than in this horrible pain

    Since age of 15 I have had problems and it is only in the last year or so I have had to phone docs do much and I'm sorry to say not a lot has been said to help me other then they believe I will have to stay like this and in this day and age I find that hard to accept

    I do know it is hard for the docs as they have been told they only have a 10min slot with youn but through no fault of there own some patients have more than one problem going on

    Thank you for yor hug πŸ‘―πŸ‘―πŸ‘―πŸ‘― this is me and you going dancing

    In our dreams πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’‹

  • Well done for telling your story. When I joined I received lots of encouragement and it is really helping. Over the years I have tried most things so came to a full stop really, again I am very fortunate as I can go out. I really pushed myself to join a pilates class. Now, I feel part of something again, supported and useful, just like on here. I feel anything with a social interaction is great for stimulation and positivity, albeit temporarily. Some classes involve only chair based routines which is great. Also as I go during the day it is a bit quitier and not intimidating. Well done !

  • We all have times when we ask the question of "Why are we here?" and "What is our purpose in life?". As we get older we may ask this more and more, for we fear how long wehave left to make something with our life, to make things right which are wrong, and to make our mark on the world. We can feel lonely, sad, fearful and hopeless, and life can seem like a burden. And this can be for people without pain.

    So if you have chronic pain, enduring pain, pain taht takes your breath each day, hurts when you move, keeps yopu awake at night and greets you sadly each morning, and yet you still get up each day, you still wash, make a meal, dress, then you have your answer. You are fighter. Despite all you have thronw at you which is unfair, you carry on, each minute, each hour, each day.

    In thsoe moments of sever pain, tell yourself, "This time will pass, and I will be in less pain. But this severe pain will also happen again, and I will get through that moment too. Thgis is my life, and I will cope, and I will take it on, because it is te life I have been given".

    You are not alone in your pain. There are so many of us in a similar siutuation, feeling like life in unfair as we stumble through the days, and wonder why we can't fo normal things. But those of us who have such pain, have also been goven something that those who do not have pain would be luky to have - understanding, empthay and gratitude. We know tru gratitude for those imprtant things, like 'manageable pain', a 'good day', the sun on our face, the sound of the birds outside, the calm before the storm, and most people go through life withour even noticing such things. We also know emapthy and kindness, for we can give it due to our situation, for we know how important honest care is, and how precious a kind word or deed can be. We may not always get it, but we can give it.

    It may be hard, but we have to look at the blessings in life and think that we are there to see them and feel them, despite the storm of pain we seem to live in. I am sorry to hear of your pain, and your helplessness. I wish there was an answer, for you and for others. Life is not fair. Know you are not alone, and I hope this helps.

    Take care pain friend.

  • lovely words and so true. xoxoxo

  • Dear disc although these words were not wrote to me on reading them it was almost as if you were sat by my bedside and telling me them.

    What i personally struggle with is i am so accepting of everything that you wrote to Rusty but in my darkest times when my sister and my children are all sleeping and the physical emotional and mental pain is running riot throught my hole body its at these times i never seem to be able to remember any of the amazing supportive words of advice people have said to me and that i have read. At these really dark times i just wish i could go to sleep and finally be released from this pain that has taken so much away from me xx

  • Please please don't think that way but who am I to say that I do similar to you and think the same as you but we must focus on something else

    Does the pain settle down when you are on bed or sat down I'm pleased to say mine does at moment it is as soon as I put feet to ground every other things start

    Have you family although they can't take pain away and if the truth is to be said I love to see them and are grateful for the help as without them I believe I would be in a home but at the same time you like to be on your own why this is I do not know

    Please try to keep brave if that's the right word and I amongst others I think are thinking about youn

    Take care

  • Thank you for your words you have made me feel a bit better

    So when I get down with this pain I must remember your words

    Thank you

  • Hi Rusty.

    I'm 49 male and I had a failed/messed up back surgery at 47 and I have been in pain ever since. I live in pain 24 7 yet I still manage to work a full time office job as a manager. I have no other choice. How can you get through it:

    1. Take one day at a time.

    2. Don't focus on the past or how things could of been different had you done this or that differently.

    3. Don't dwell on the pain or limitations

    4. Find hobbies and activities that can past the time.

    5. Exercise, walk and stretch daily even If it is for only 5 minutes.

    6. Be thankful for what you have and be mindful that there are others in the same situation or worse.

    7. Don't be afraid to cry. But don't feel sorry for yourself.

    8. Find someone if you don't have anyone already who accepts you and will help you out. Luckily I have someone who loves and helps me. She even helps me undress after work to my pajamas.

    9. If you are in pain every day you must get on the proper medications. Don't be afraid of pain killers. If taken as prescribed they will help you tremendously. Find a doctor that is not afraid. The whole opiate issue is blown up and conflated with heroin addicts. Typical media handling of a serious issue and hopefully politicians will not be short minded.

    10. If weather helps, move to a state that is better for you like Florida or Arizona.

    11. Do all the things you dreamed about and don't be afraid to spend money. That's what it is for. Not to hoard!

    12. Get to know others with similar issues on line or in person through forums and meetings. Seems like you are doing this. Good for you!

    13. Low inflammatory diet and water avoid alcohol, excessive sugar and other bad stuff

    14. Set goals. Even little ones.

    15. Get support from family and friends. And separate from those that are negative.

    16. Try medicinal cannabis. It may help. I have not due to my job but would in minute otherwise.

    17. Stay positive.

    Good luck

    Jerry

  • He he he was reading your comments taking in what you were saying untill I got to move to another state for the weather I live in Devon in the uk lol

    Thanks for the early morning laugh needed that

    As for cannibis I believe that is a no go area in England

  • Interesting perspective. For me I struggle to talk about medication as I dream of a day without any! Probably not realistic but do not wish to submit to the constant pain. Still searching for the 'other option' stay strong

  • Oh boy, Please don't take this the wrong way, I don't say this to be mean at all but to be able to walk just for 30 seconds would to me be heaven on Earth.

    Just got back from a pain clinic review and their plan is (I don't seem to have any choice in the matter) is to stop all pain meds asap and to just deal with the pain. I know what you're saying Rackets but that's the kind of paradox we find ourselves in. I am only 58 and yeah 28 years ago or so I did my back in and it spiralled from there. "Youre too young to have a spine op" was all I was told and was put on Gabapentin, codiene/Solpadol, Morphine patches, Tramadol (which does NOTHING), Amytriptyline, Loarazepam, and many other I can't remember right now, and my weight ballooooned! I am now 178Kg. Now my kidneys are to knackered (stage 3b) that surgery Including bariatric surgery is out of the question......I am, too old!

    It really does piss me off the way some of us have been treated, and now because of the political situation we have less than 10 minutes of consultation time with our docs......How the hell can you sort something out in what is really 6 minutes as my doctor told me last week. You just can't, and we are very expensive for the surgery's to maintain and we are a burdon. This is what I was told by my GP.

    So, Rusty, I am too sitting on my bed trying to sum-up the courage to go have a pee.....which is an ordeal, BUT, I have a little creature with me who loves me like no other & she is a precious little gerbyl who's pic is above, and she makes me laugh, in fact she makes me laugh so much it makes it worth living, More than I can say for the NHS or any GP I've yet to meet, or whatever future I have to look forward to. My GP gave me a maximum of 3 years left to live. That was five years ago. My muscle are completely atrophied (Fucked in other words) due to the high dose (400mg for many years) of statins I was given some 30 years ago when they found out my cholesterol levels were 23.4 (should be below 5) and that really set my fate back then. Pain? yup, I know pain.

    My drug of choice now is alcohol and lots of it. The concoction I now take would kill a horse, but hey, I'm still alive & they said I wouldn't be. I am so sorry for ranting but I can't tell my story to anyone and I feel very alone indeed, very alone.

  • I have just struggled on frame and in pain for a per hope you managed yours ok lol got to laugh or we would cry

    You would have thought this day and age there would have been some pain killer out there to sort ourselfes out other then what a spine doc said to me ie there's always euthanasia I did laugh with him

    As I thought he was joking but was he πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    I thought I was the only one that done ranting but it's nice to know other people do it

    Hope you have as good as a day as you can and perhaps if we think others in the same boat we might feel a tiny bit better knowing we are not alone

  • Hiya Rusty,

    It's nothing short of shameful in my opinion that with all the money spent, no-one can come up with a solution to kill pain. Have we really advanced that far in medicine? where are these massive changes to our lives? yes we live longer but is that always agood thing? It never ceaes to amaze me that on this forum so many people have have various surgeries yet you never hear of one that's gone right, do you? Our surgeons still use nuts, bolts, screws, hammers and chisels in often vain attempts to puts things right but they hardly ever work!

    So where do we go from here? Personally I'm in a (almost) laughable situation;- My GP has said to me face to face that she will not treat me any further until I have weight loss surgery. I have been turned down for this surgery from the team at Chichester hospital because firstly my kidneys are not strong enough and nor will my heart stand a general anesthetic, in fact off the record (Iwonder why) thay give me a 1 in 20 chance of dying during or shortly after the operation, in other words a 5% chance of not making it through. When it's your life they're talking about that's scary. But again they say I'll die within 3 years..........If they tell me this every three years then they can never be wrong, can they?

    I'm sorry again for the rant but I am so angry right now with the BHS and their attitude towards me. Put quite simply I am only in this position because of the massive cocktails of drugs they insisted I take for the last 30 years.

    You guys are great......keep up the good work

    Sash

  • I am sorry you have been going so long with all this pain. I have only been that bad off for 6 years. I know after 2 MRI's that I have 3 spinal stenosis with bulging disk and spondoysis of the sacroiliac. I cannot do any walking at all I have to have an electric cart to an a wheel chair to the DR OFC. buy gro and . I am not doing well thie morning as I cannot see I fell in the bathroom nd busted my forehead and wrinched my ned and have 2 black eyes. 2 weeks ago I fell in the bathroom and broke my nose I can't breathe because I am bent over so . I have been passed around to a back surgeon that says I am not bad enough to do surgery on.So I do know what you may be dealing with.

  • I have very similar things wrong with my back but they don't want to operate on me due to kidney transplant and being in a/f

    It doesn't seem to much to ask in this day and age for a little pain relief of some sort

    If you should get some answeres please let me know in between its chin up and away we go

    Take care

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