Still no answers....I just don't care anymore

Hello,firstly I would like to introduce myself as Dan and look forward to joining in and contributing.

My story started a long time ago when I was "eventually" given an operation basically fusing my left wrist along with replacing some worn out and nearly non existent bones.

Gradually over the years the symptoms of chronic pain increased to the level at which I am today.

I have been up to one month ago working periodically making computer generated signs.Alas this also has taken its toll on my body,to the point I cannot type at a keyboard for long or hold a pen (I know clever clogs...how he he writing such a lengthy post then....answer,my loving daughter has a lunch period).The pain although not a 10 is certainly 6-7 most days all day,

The Medications I take,I would have thought would be enough to zombiefy me,but I can still comprehend most days.Here is a list

Fencino 50mg patches,co-codamol 30/500mg (8per day),Duloxetine 120mg per day,Pregabalin 300mg per day,Quetiapine 150mg per day,Bendroflumenthiazide 2.5mg day,Adalat retard 20mg day,Statins 20mg day.

And yet,after endless doctors,consultants,phychiatrists and physchologists only one person has dared to give me some answer as to what I have.A lovely chronic pain consultant,who said that as much as the others has messed around,I have chronic pain/me and chronic fatigue and wide spread osteoarthritis (although a consultant who wants to do a basal thumb joint operation on me also stated about the osteoarthritis).I also have severe bouts of depression which has led to a suicide attempt because of the pain,and also anxiety (of which the doctor has pointed out the continual jerking and jumping that my body does is due to anxiety....I personally believe it is the pregabalin ).

Now after all this and years of pain and depression I have along with my wife decided to give up trying to not make a living and unavoidably claim ESA and housing benefit.

Weeks have gone by now with no answers from either,so I thought that a phone call would be a good idea,lol,the ESA denied knowledge of having received my doctors sick note and also wanted to know why my wife wasn't working?

I nearly ,very nearly,lost my temper but thought to myself "I just don't care anymore ".They continually try to make life difficult,they take no notice of what I have done and they are all trying to push me into a big black hole that I am continually trying to crawl out.

Rant over,and finally the ESA found my doctors sick note.

Well tomorrow is another day,in which I have to take my sons university papers into the local council to prove he is in full time education.

I just know it is going to take every last ounce of effort from me,but they just don't seem to care ,do they?

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8 Replies

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  • Hello Danworg, We understand here and don't judge, ( I hate being judged) so Well done you for not loosing your temper. Keep practicing this in you mind for the next time when it comes, as I feel it might. Good luck

  • Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and that I truly feel sorry that you're in so much pain. Don't let mean people who don't understand your struggle make you feel alone in this battle...many people are going through the same ill treatment. Just this past month I had my medicine taken away by someone who smugly looked down their nose and decided I don't have any pain. I admire you for your strength to daily fight the battle of chronic pain. God Bless - Christy

  • Dan

    Unfortunately not.

    Regards

    Jim

  • Thankyou for the replies.It helps me sometimes to get things off my chest...Thankyou

  • hello Dan,

    I am sorry for you and your family. One of the hardest parts of chronic pain is not when you finally accept that you are never going to be the person you once were. It is having to go cap in hand for benefits that you are entitled too and having to jump through bureaucratic hoops ...

    I see you have a claim for ESA. Have you claimed PIP ? Your wife could claim a carer's allowance on top of that.

    hope you have some better days

    hugs Liz x

  • Hi,I was told that I couldn't claim pip until my esa had come through?

    All this waiting as well,how are people supposed to run a fairly ordinary life,my life has turned upside down and I am seriously struggling with it all.

    Luckily I have a fantastic wife and two doting children,which certainly helps me through each day.

    I dread the moment of an assessment to only get told I am fit for work,after all the scare stories I have read.

    I cannot imagine having to work now totally spaced out on all my meds,I just cannot imagine it.

    Dan

  • no you can claim pip...please start the ball rolling for it now and get CAB to fill in the forms as they have the Disability Handbook to use the correct wording that the DWP are looking for. It is a slow process !

    hugs Liz x

  • Thanks Liz,however if I get turned down for ESA (I have convinced myself that I will),would I have to stop any claim for PIP.I cannot see that anyone is eligible for PIP if they don't pass the first hurdle.

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