I have depression. Sometimes, very dark and deep. It happens year after year, even months in between.
I finally found the courage to stand up to the medi experts and say I want testing for bipolar. One agreed, the others are treating me for depression. The one that agreed explained that I need a psychiatrist and not cbt.
My initial assessment 4 weeks ago, said i would be seen by the cbt team, Still on a waiting list, and they would decide. So i had a long chat with bipolar uk, they asked me to fill in their in depth assessment form, and I am showing clear signs for bipolar.
The pills I'm taking aren't working as I should be on pills for bipolar and not depression.
It's a bit of a jumbled bag but has anyone been through similar?
Thanks
Written by
metalbones16
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. I have been through the same and it has been one hell of a battle but I'm getting there I hope.
I've been told since age 19 that I had treatment resistant depression and have had pretty much every drug on the market in varying combinations, including mood stabilisers and antipsychotics. I have had two major breakdowns and been hospitalised many times including a month as an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital. It wasn't until I was 36, £35000 in debt, had destroyed my career and lost my home that I was finally diagnosed as bipolar.
Getting the diagnosis is half the battle as things finally make sense but honestly, the access to treatment certainly where I am, is very poor. I know how difficult it is to fight when you're in a bad way but you must keeping making noise until they have a proper treatment plan in place. I waited 3 years for psychotherapy and to see a consultant on the NHS, but I think the fact that I was paying privately for treatment through desperation I was seen by the NHS as a low priority. I'm very lucky that my family have supported me and that my Dad attends appointments with me so they can't fob me off when I'm too poorly to stick up for myself.
Is there anyone you could involve to help you in the same way? If you need anything or want to ask me anything I'm happy to help.
I've found the main thing lacking is support rather than medication but I've finally got input from the CMHT and a support worker through Early Help who is helping me with things I can't manage myself like finances and social contact. These are all things you should be considered for so ask if it isn't offered x
Just another thing, because bipolar is difficult to diagnose, because it's really measured on symptoms and cycles, it may help if you have a family member or friend who can describe their observations of you and your behaviour as it paints a more objective picture. It's not necessarily nice to hear how others view you, but it definitely help in getting a definitive diagnosis.
I find I'm worse when stressed or when my pain levels are high, so taking care of yourself and taking a holistic whole body approach should help enormously x
Thank you so much for your excellent advice. Just this minute made an appointment to see the doc, My wife is coming with me.
I shall be going in fully armed.
As you say, it's better to take someone as they see the person that isn't really you.
I've fought this alone for so long. Been in hospital through 2 suicide attempts, cbt endless sessions.
I spoke to a real great guy from Bipolar support and he's basically told me cbt and the drugs I'm on now, Mirtazapine, aren't going to do me much good. He had the same problem. It wasn't until his wife demanded that he has a different approach from a different doc.. They won in the end. Hopefully, that will be all of us very soon.
Thank you so much for replying. I've taken everything in that you have said, even made notes, as there are times I go into a shell and wreck the big moment.
You're very welcome. I hope it can be of some help and that you start making progress soon. It's not right that we have to fight for treatment like this but it's sadly the way the NHS is going.
Read the "sedated society" by James Davies. Depression can be simply brain overload and exhaustion. No amount of pills are going to help with the brain's responses to overload until you do something about the issues of exposing your self to situations of overload.
Many people with pills for bipolar have ended up with heart attacks.
No one can investigate your symptoms other than yourself. Under what conditions do certain mental health events occur? Mental health events can other 12 hours after a situation. What skills are you trying to obtain to manage difficult social events. Difficult social events can leave one exhausted. Some people mistakenly call this depression. How much sleep are you getting before a difficult social event?
Who are the local churches in your area who can help with skill deficits?.
The religious traditions have been dealing with mental health issues for thousands of years. There is a large skill base there which could be useful.
Many people with pills for bipolar have NOT had heart attacks either. There are professional to help to investigate symptons. This is what I am going thru.
I can only give you what I have read in the literature and the experience of people I have known.
As you say many people have not. However, people who are on pills for bipolar are on them for years. The longer one is on certain pills the greater the risk of side effects. There is also a greater risk of withdrawal effects the longer you are on drugs.
You say: "There are professional to help to investigate symptoms." Symptoms are not causes. There can be many causes for the same symptoms.
Read the "sedated society" by James Davies this will give you information that you need to know. It gives the references to many of the drug trials where the results have been doctored to suit the result the pharmaceutical company wanted. The book also discusses the issues of psychiatrists acting in their interests rather than the patients.
Read "Bad Pharma: How Drug Companies Mislead Doctors and Harm Patients" by Ben Goldacre.
There are articles in Lancet, British Medical Journal, Scientific American, New Scientist and Nature about the problem of misleading drug trial results. There have been many learned articles on the issue of psychiatric drugs and the brain damage that they do.
I have given you the information to look up. It is up to you whether you investigate further or not.
Luckily I'm from a family of scientists in the pharmaceutical industry so i don't get easily frightened by conspiracies of fixed drug trials to benefit big pharma etc. I have also tried bipolar without drugs as well as with, and only just survived the consequences of no psychiatric drugs.
Yes, some of the drugs used to treat bipolar can be cardiotoxic in large quantities which is why I have 4 weekly ECG monitoring to ensure that my heart is ok. Talking therapies can help but in my experience only in conjunction with drugs to stabilise the mood swings. Since bipolar is incurable I wonder if people having terrible symptoms when they stop taking the drugs are simply experiencing symptoms of bipolar that were previously well controlled. It's also strongly advised to reduce drugs very slowly to prevent extreme reactions and side effects.
Thank you Lipbalmaddict01. It's nice to read a reply that makes sense instead of scare mongering from media excerpts.
I think with any meds long term there is going to be some kind of "risk", but, I'd rather take the risk that these drugs are there to help and not to hinder.
I agree with "Since bipolar is incurable I wonder if people having terrible symptoms when they stop taking the drugs are simply experiencing symptoms of bipolar that were previously well controlled.", 100%. Surely if it ain't broken, don't try to fix it. I think once my drugs are in place, and if they do make a difference, I think I'd rather go with a long term prescription, rather than take the risk of not taking them, and experiencing full on BP. After all, This is why I'm fighting to get me to the right person. I hate my life as it stands at the mo....
I'm sorry i disagree. Surely without the symptoms, the professionals won't have anything to go off to offer any kind of help.
I see what you're saying, but books, sometimes, are often misleading. I'd rather go off real experiences. People that have had it. This is all new to me.
I've been experiencing bp like symptoms for years, and still its a quick pill, cbt, and then told to get on with it. Nothing has worked. It's as much use as taking paracetamol for hay fever.
Hope all works out. It took me from the age of 18 to 31 to be diagnosed with bipolar type 1. For years and years I was simply put on anti depressants which made me worse or told I had anxiety. Despite my changing moods that resulted in serious episodes where I swung in politics extremes, religious extremes and deciding one morning to fly to a different country instead of going to work. Lost many jobs and relationships from the bipolar and found so many GP's to be useless. Until I met a doctor who actually has bipolar and sent me to be assessed.
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