Sex life, what sex life !

I have stopped using the Testin Gel, gave me body odour of a man, never had problems before. I became angry, which is so out of character and a foul smelling urine. My partner and I had no sexual relations since October. The thought of it made me shudder and I could not get my head around not having a cervix, what was it now a dead end lol.

However the estraderm MX 25 patches, twice a week have made a difference. I wont go into detail, but size wise I am tiny. My cosultant did advise me of this, I said I felt I had been gutted like a fish :-)

Borderline mucinous tumors are very rare and to be honest I don't think they know much about them, it seem serous are more common. So things are on the up, the scar has left me looking like I have two backsides one front one back lol.

But I am getting there slowly and hope this very honest post will give hope to others.

Sue xxx

16 Replies

  • I really don`t mean to laugh hun, but this really did make me smile. I think because of your way with words, as I have said the exact same things to my best friend. No cervix and dead end indeed! I also describe my scar as another bum!!!! Bless you, I also seem to have a huge hole like an enormous second belly button right at the base of the scar, its so ugly. And the opposite side to where the tumour was removed is fatter, much fatter. I remember they told me the scar was healing so nicely it would fade away to nothing. Well, in places it has, but the three places were the infection set in has gone wide and the crease is still there.

    If its any concelation though, my daughter had a C section when her daughter was born, her scar is horizontal and she moans about it looking like an apron. What have they done to us, it does feel rather barbarric doesn`t it? No wonder we don`t feel very sexy any more.

    What is Testin Gel? and used for? something to add to injury is to stink like some smelly bloke. Can`t have that, can we, bless you!

    Isn`t it a relief to chat about these things though?, it may be a taboo subject for some but it sure can be isolating, its good that we can talk - and hopefully find a little humour along the way.

    I`m not sure if this may help ~ I have recently invested in a Lady care magnet from Boots, you wear it in your underwear (knickers), it helps with the menopause symptoms, someone told us about it on here a while back. AND it may help to increase our libido, Nothing has changed there for me yet but hopefully its down to early days, I am hopeful!

    Take care from Tina xx

  • I try to be humerous, I have to laugh, when colleagues move three seats away. It is a taboo subject, but I know we all are living/deaing with it. The Testin Gel, I was told is the hormone of desire, yes maybe if you are a man, it's not licensed for females in the UK, so private precription, I have 48 tubes gathering dust xxx Like the idea of the magnet, could be a problem at the airport, if I set off all the alarms !

    Sue x

  • No probs with airports, Sue. I love my magic knocker magnet! It really helps with the hotties. I've been using one since about 2009. Wouldn't be without it. Sex life? Not really, I think it just helps with hotties, see if you can find all the back info about them via the search button at the top of the page. Good luck! The side effect of the gel sounded horrific......who'd want to be like a man? ;-)

    Love Wendy xx

  • I meant magic knicker magnet, of course! I nearly caused my niece to have a loud outburst of the giggles when I told her ........... It was in the intensive care unit of Southampton General where my nephew was in intensive care. All VERY inappropriate! He got better though, without any side effects from my magnet on the ICU equipment.

  • I,m saying nowt!! lol.

  • Hi Aliddy

    Good to hear from you . I also had a mucinous BOT chopped out three years ago now . I am also on HER but was on the 75 patch till recently. I had oestrogen levels done and they were very low , I am only 9 stone. So 25 May not be enough and this of course would affect your sex life. You really need help with this your GO any use ?

    Regarding the scar mine was reopened surgically and was truly hideous to start. Two and a half years on it honestly looks much much better. I have finally managed to drop a bit of weight. I actually took pictures of it ( as the second operation was a botched job) and it really is alot better. Doctors are great for saying that you will be " back to normal " in few weeks or months , which is simply not true for many. It takes even longer to recover from the trauma we went though. I also kept a diary and 're reading this I cannot recognise the person I was then.

    So will you , but it needs time and any issues need to be sorted out.

    Take care



  • I have to say that I had some really down moments after my second operation even though the surgeon assured me he had tapered upwards so I didn't lose any vaginal depth. I thought sex would never be the same again, I had been convinced that my cervix was the most important thing for good sex, but it turned out it wasn't really, sometimes it takes longer to orgasm, but I think that's state of mind not body.

    I never think about my cervix even though I had been hugely resistant to having it removed but gave in as I couldn't face a third operation if it then needed to be removed. Sex has been just as good as before, although I've some scar tissue that can be painful sometimes, it is getting better.

    It will get better, and if you are still having problems I'm sure your gynae will talk through your options, there are some great vaginal plastic surgeons about too.

    LA xx

  • I do hope things sort themselves out for you soon - that Testin Gel sounds foul. As LA, above, says - it could be state of mind. A helpful tip I was given - it may help you feel more in the mood if you apply a little vaginal lubricant routinely, not just at love-making times.

    When I had my hysterectomy, a week after my 37th birthday - nothing to do with Ovarian Ca, I was told that having no cervix wouldn't affect me as the cervix has little or no feeling, anyway. Men may miss out on the sensation the cervix gives them, though!! Thankfully my husband said things were fine, afterwards - and still are, post Ov Ca, many years later. He'd hate to know I'm writing about such personal things - tee hee. That's the beauty of this site, isn't it?

    Love and Good Luck, Solange

  • Hi ladies

    I have found bio oil helps with my scar just rub it in twice a day and I think mine is a lot lighter.


  • Oh yes, the double bum effect. I've got that too.

    I had my cancer op in November 2011. It was many months before we started getting active between the sheets again. I found it awkward at first but it got easier each time. We were just getting into our stride when I had more surgery for the post op fistula and we had to refrain from intercourse for 3-4 months. Not that I felt like it for the first 2 months anyway as I had a catheter to manage. We resumed relations in February and the experience is the same as before. It improves with practice.

    I also think there's a lot to be said for going to bed in the middle of the afternoon just for a cuddle with no pressure on either side

    Well done for keeping your sense of humour.

    Love Mary xx

  • Hi. Im so glad that someone has put this out there.

    I havent had sexual relations with my partner since my hysterectomy. August 2011. Its gotten to the point where I just dont want to. But as you can imagine this does cause huge arguments. I feel sorry for my partner but the thought of it just crushes me inside. And I clam right up. I'm not me any more and don't feel like i ever will be.

    love Suzanne. xxx

  • Hi Suzanne,

    I wanted this out there, as so many of us feel the same but remain silent. I feel unattractive with two bottoms and that's what it really looks like. I do feel gutted like a fish, there is an article you can google the cruelest cut of all, the removal of the cervix.

    I am trying to get my head around all this myself, so you are not alone, we will get there, love Sue x

  • Just a thought....I think that MacM do a leaflet on sex after cancer ops. I think it's on their Survivorship programme. May be worth a call to them. They may be able to offer some ideas you can try to get back to a more satisfactory sex life with your other halves.

    Love W xx

  • Just a thought....I think that MacM do a leaflet on sex after cancer ops. I think it's on their Survivorship programme. May be worth a call to them. They may be able to offer some ideas you can try to get back to a more satisfactory sex life with your other halves.

    Love W xx

  • I feel quite sad reading the posts from Sue and Suzanne, to give up sex because you feel unattractive will only make you feel more unattractive, your partners love you for being who you are, when I had sex for the first time after my hysterectomy, I was nervous in case it hurt, I'd been gritting my teeth for six weeks and then when the time came I wasn't sure I wanted to, but I also didn't want to put it off. My husband was great, he was gentle and made me feel good, the scar was uncomfortable inside and out, and I had been convinced by others that my orgasms would be ruined forever. Losing my cervix made no difference, I just thought it would be, the feeling however wasn't as intense, I thought okay that's it then, and although I'm not a crier I got really upset and tearful, wishing I'd never had the hysterectomy at all.

    It's been six months since my operation, and the sex has got better and better, to the point where I have no idea why it worried me. My scar has healed quite nicely, so Mr Sefre did me proud, but we are off on holiday soon, I usually wear a bikini, enjoy the sun, I have bought two swimsuits to hide my scar, my husband was unimpressed, he said that scar is part of you and who you are, please don't hide it, although I didn't tell him I was worried that it would be vulnerable to the sun.

    Funny enough I work with people who have BDD and relationship issues, and coaching is a good move forward. Having the worry of OC is bad enough please don't let it spoil your life any more than it has already.

    LA xx

  • Glad the patches work for you Sue, don't think I will trying the testosterone gel!

    I don't notice the difference without a cervix but I do suffer with dryness and lack of desire post hysterectomy - that was nearly two years ago now. My stomach has so many scar it's ridiculous. There's an appendix scar, c section scar, ileostomy reversal scar and then I've been opened up vertically 4 times due to the ovarian cancer, the last time from public bone to sternum. The removed my belly buttom completely the last time. Oddly thought I don't mind how it looks and my little girls find the scars fascinating. DH has never complained either. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is an old saying but perfectly true I think.

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